New World
by sign144
Summary: Bella was in a coma and the only way to save her is for Edward to bite her. But will that help? Can Bella forgive him for all the pain that he has put her through? Will she believe that he loves her once again? Sequel to Why Won't Anyone Listen To Me.
1. PROLOGUE

**PROLOGUE**

_Be careful what you wish for……_

I remember when I learned vampires where real. I can still see Jacob's face in the distance laughing at his heritage. Scoffing at the idea that any of his tribe's legends were true.

I can remember the first time I wanted to be a vampire. Waking up with Edward in my room and hearing him tell me that I was his life. Those are powerful words; life altering words. Knowing that he would be with me forever. Forever.

Forever had become a different word in that one instant. It had become real. I could see what forever really was. It wasn't just a word that is tossed around to signify a deep love or commitment. No, forever was a lasting period of time. A never-ending commitment. A love so deep nothing could pull it apart.

I remember when my forever shattered. The day that I learned that vampires don't have to kill you to hurt you. When Edward walked away from me in the woods my wishes died. He might as well have changed me in the instant because my heart ceased to beat. My breath slowly left my body and my mind began to disappear.

Forever had changed again. It had become an eternity of despair. An endless night plagued with nothing but anguish and loss. Years of holding myself together hoping against hope that something would come along to put me out of my misery. That something would break the cycle of pain. Forever had become a word filled with hate instead of hope.

I remember the last time I wanted to be a vampire. The time that I finally got my wish. The time when forever became not just a word or a feeling of despair but a reality. When I was lost and nothing else could save me.

I had always heard to be careful what you wished for but those words had never rang so true as in that moment. The moment that my life changed; that I changed; that I became the me that I had been placed on this earth to become. And the burden of time and forever had never felt so real.

_Yes, be careful what you wish for; you never know when you just might get it._

**AN: Welcome back :) I hope you like the beginning of this story…or the continuation of **_**Why Won't Anyone Listen To Me**_**. Let me know what you think. I would love to go way past the number of reviews we got last story.**

**Don't make me blue; please review.**


	2. Chapter 1: CHANGE

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will.__ Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun__**.**_

CHANGE

**Bella POV**

I was lost. I knew that but for some reason I couldn't seem to find my way back to them. I could hear everyone talking and I could feel both Jasper and Edward's arms but nothing. I tried screaming, crying, plain old talking but nothing would come out. I even tried to talk to Edward with my mind but I couldn't get it to work. I felt Jasper trying to get me to feel anything and it worked. Unfortunately, it seemed that he couldn't tell. It was like all my emotions were locked away with me and I couldn't find the key.

So this was it. This was how I was going to spend the rest of my life. Listening to others and feeling them but not being able to share. Kinda made the last few months look like a picnic. I knew I should have stayed in Forks. I knew that coming down here and finding Edward would do nothing but cause me more pain. Oh and that was an added bonus now. I could say his name and not have to worry about falling apart because apparently I already had or at least that is what they thought.

I kept hearing things like psychotic break and mental illness. I wanted scream that I wasn't ill I was just lost somewhere inside my body. Maybe Jasper or Carlisle or whoever said it was right and I was somewhere in my mind. I couldn't tell. All I knew was that there was nothing coming out.

I felt Edward holding my hand and touching my back and I wanted to let him know that I was okay but I couldn't. On one hand I wanted to comfort him but on the other I was so mad. He did this. He walked away and left me alone AGAIN and now he wants to tell me how much he loves me? Why couldn't he have said that in the restaurant? Or better yet why did he leave in the first place? Why if he loved me so much did he leave me broken in the forest those long months ago? And then to add insult to injury he left me falling apart again in that stupid restaurant.

I wanted to kick him and tell him what an idiot he was but I still loved him. I would always love him, but I didn't know if I could forgive him. He had broken me and that was something I wasn't ready to get over. Maybe that was why I was lost. If I could move and speak then I would have to talk to him and I wasn't ready for that yet. I wasn't sure if I could ever be ready for that.

We were back in Forks now. I felt the change in temperature as soon as we landed. I knew I was being taken to Carlisle but I also wondered what they were going to tell Charlie. I knew this would be dangerous for the Cullens but they couldn't just leave me again; right? Even if Edward decided that this was too much for him they couldn't just drop me off on Charlie's door and ring the bell and take off. Charlie had known that I was with Alice and if they brought me back like this he would know something had happened.

It was strange not being about to move or speak but still feeling everything around you. It was like I was part vampire already. I was as still as they could be but feeling everything as a human with a little extra dropped in. I knew we were on the highway and I could feel the car speeding home and the trees whipping by the same as before but I could also smell the air and the fear coming off of everyone in the car. I should be worried but I wasn't. It was like nothing could hurt me anymore.

I didn't know if this made me happy or sad. After all those months of wallowing in pain and sadness I like the idea of none of that being able to reach me but I wanted my control back. I wanted to be able to move and talk and share what was going on.

I wanted to tell Alice that I didn't blame her and Jasper that I would be okay. They both had done so much for me over the last few days and they didn't deserve to think that their actions had caused any of this. Especially Jasper. Next to Rosalie he had always been the Cullen that I got along with the least. He had always been so stand offish which was only enhanced by my birthday party. But being with him this trip he had really become as much of a brother to me as Emmett. The way that he was worrying about me was so unfair.

And Alice was seemed so sad and guilty. Like I would have traded any of the last three days with her. I would even let her take me shopping again if she would just smile. I loved her so much and she had given me back a part of my life again. How in the world did she think that I could be mad at her for that?

I wanted to tell Edward that I loved him. I hated seeing him so sad and in so much pain. He needed to know that even if I couldn't forgive him or understand I at least loved him. But where did we go from there. If I couldn't forgive him then could I let myself be with him? I didn't know.

Somewhere in all of my contemplating I had ended up at the Cullen's house and in some room I had never seen hooked up to so many monitors. I had missed this house, but more so I had missed the seven people that surrounded me now. It was amazing to have them all back together. This is how they belonged. This is how we belonged.

I could hear part of the conversation and I didn't like the way things were going. Rosalie was talking mental hospital and Carlisle was pushing drugs. Neither sounded like a walk in the park but I would take the drugs over the psych ward any day. Edward was still right by my side and even though I was still mad I had to admit it felt nice; almost right in a way that nothing else ever has.

This was my family; this was home. Sure I loved Charlie and Renee and I wouldn't want to leave them but it was different here. It was like I belonged with these people. Like I had been born to live this life with them. Almost as if I would have found my way to them even if I had never moved to Forks. We were connected. Not just because of Edward but because of fate and if they could hold out then I would find a way back to them.

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I was so frustrated. It had been a week and nothing. I had pushed and screamed and concentrated until my head hurt and still nothing. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, and I was fairly certain that if I had a voice I would be hoarse right now. I knew this wasn't good but I just couldn't break out of whatever hold my mind had over my body.

I was also convinced now that Carlisle had been right. I was all in my mind. I don't know if it was fear or pain that put me there but everything that I was currently resided in my head. Which only made me want to scream even more. I was surrounded by these powerful, mythical creatures one of which read minds and I couldn't even reach him. I had always loved that he couldn't read me until now. I wanted him to be able to hear me and let everyone know that I was still here. That I was still in this body. That I was quite comatose, and I was just stuck.

But no he couldn't even do that. No all Edward did was sit by my side and whisper that he loved me and that he was sorry. I got it already. I would feel better about all he had done if he would find a way to get me the hell out of this. That was what he should be doing. Research with Carlisle or making calls or something. Not sitting at my bed like I was dying and this was his last chance at penance.

I could hear the door opening and everyone gathering around me. They appeared to be arguing. I focused really hard to hear what they were saying.

"Bite her." I heard someone whisper. I thought it sounded like Jasper but I couldn't think about that because I was to surprised that I had heard him. He had to have been talking at vampire levels and still I made out the words.

It took me another minute to realize that they were talking about changing me. Would that work? I knew that Alice had been somewhat coma like before her change and she was fine now. If that would work then what was the hold up. Someone should be doing it now.

Then I heard it. Of course it would be Edward. "She doesn't deserve this."

I had almost believed him. That he loved me and that he was sorry and it had all been lies. He couldn't have meant any of it if he was willing to let me lie here in a coma, trapped in my mind for the rest of my life, rather than change me and keep me by his side for eternity. He didn't want me. It was as clear as if he had gotten up and walked out the door yet again.

Well screw him. This was about me and I didn't care if he wanted me around or not. If become immortal could make me better than there were six other vampires here that should be snacking on me right about now.

I didn't have to be with him. If he didn't want me I was sure I could find someone else that did. That guy at the restaurant had seemed interested and what about the airline steward. Both of them had flirted with me. Not to mention dear old Mike. He would do anything if I would give him a chance. No, I didn't have to bind myself to Edward for all eternity. As Alice had said there were other fish in the sea.

But how would that work? I would be a blood crazed vampire. I didn't know anything about when you were first changed but I knew that it took awhile for you to be able to be around humans without attacking them. Just look at Jasper. It had been like fifty years and he was still struggling. So I would have to be around Edward for awhile. That didn't seem fair. He didn't want me and I was stuck being with him.

Unless? Was there a way to hold on to some of my humanity? Could I retain enough to be able to see Charlie and live on my own? Carlisle had brought his compassion and Esme her love. Those weren't big powers like Edward, Alice and Jasper but if I could keep the bloodlust down then maybe I could be free to do as I please and not be a burden to the Cullens.

How would I do it? Was it just a matter of concentrating? Could I lock that part of myself up in my mind and let the rest out? I had to try. I had to do something and this seemed like the best idea so far.

I laid there preparing for the pain. I knew from my previous experience with James that this wasn't going to be pleasant but I could make it through. I just had to concentrate on my human traits and focus on keeping those in my mind while finding a way out.

I felt Edward kissing me. His lips were everywhere on my face and my lips. I heard him whispering I love you over and over again and my heart so wanted to believe him. My head turned and his lips where right near on my neck. I felt more than heard is plea for forgiveness and then his teeth. If it hadn't been for the pain I would have thought it was another kiss but the searing warm began to spread. It wasn't as bad as the last time. This felt more like being submerged in a slightly over heated bath. After everything it actually felt quite nice.

That was until the warm turned painful. Until it began to spread faster than before. Suddenly my body was on hot coals. I could finally move. I felt my voice coming back. I sat up as fast as I could as opened my eyes for the first time since Brazil. They were all there staring at me. Alice and Emmett smiling nervously, Jasper and Carlisle worried, Esme looked as if she wanted to wrap me in her arms, Rosalie actually looked like she felt sorry for me, and Edward. Edward was crumbled on the floor, his body shaking as if he was sobbing at what he had done. He still didn't want me. It was so obvious even now. I could contain it any longer. I let all of my frustration drain out of me in one life changing scream and then I collapsed and closed my eyes concentrating as hard as I could on keeping as much humanity as I could.

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Three days. Three days of unimaginable torture and pain and it still wasn't done. I knew it should be soon. I could feel my body changing. I felt my mind expanding and the fire was slowly dying out. I held still and quiet the whole time. It was too hard to try and speak while concentrating on all that I had been.

Edward stayed with me whether out of guilt or remorse I wasn't sure but it did feel nice to have his cold hand wrapped up with my fire ridden one. Before I would have wanted to talk to him. To comfort him in some way and a part of me still did but I could bring myself to do it. I had seen how he felt and I knew that the only way to make things better was for me to be able to leave as soon as I possibly could.

Just when I thought the pain was almost over the fire roared back to life. Pushing its way through my body at record speed. I heard someone say that it was almost time and I could only pray that they meant that it was almost time for me to come out of this but I couldn't be sure. I couldn't think of anything but the pain and my humanity.

I chanted it to myself over and over again in those last moments. Begging myself to hold on. To retain as much as possible. I lost hold on my concentration when I felt my heart slam against my ribs and begin to pump its way out of my chest. This was what I had asked for? This was what I had wanted? In these last what I hoped would be final minutes it didn't seem likely. This couldn't have been what I had meant. Edward and Alice had told me about the pain but I hadn't listened. I guess this is what I get.

But as soon as I was sure that I my body would give out and burn away to ash it stopped. Not just the fire but everything. The pain, the torment, the feeling of being lost, not being able to move, my heartbeat. It all just stopped. It was done. I was changed. I could still feel Edward touching me but it felt different. I also felt everyone else around me. I could distinguish who was were and all their different breathing. I could hear the forest and the highway down the street. I still felt like me but so much more.

"Bella?" Edward couldn't have spoken. It was to soft but yet and still I heard it. He sounded so worried; so concerned. He sounded lost.

I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything was brighter, clearer but it felt all the same. It felt as it should be, like this was how it had always been and I hadn't seen it. And the only thing I could think of was "welcome to the new world'.

_**AN: I hope you like it. I thought wasn't going to post yet but I got 11 reviews for just the prologue so I figured that I had to give you guys something. I can't wait to hear what you think and for any newbie's welcome and don't forget to review. See ya next chapter.**_

_**Don't make me blue; please review (think we could get to 30).**_


	3. Chapter 2: ANGEL

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will.__ Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun__**.**_

ANGEL

**Edward POV**

She had to have been in pain but pass the scream right after I bit her she had said nothing. No sound, no movement, nothing.

Alice kept assuring us that everything would be fine. She was fluttering around getting things ready for Bella. Things she felt that she would need. She had shopped for days. She had spoken to Charlie almost twice a day telling him that Bella will be just fine, but that they had to stay in California so that the doctors could treat her. Charlie had wanted to drive down but Alice had somehow convinced him that it might be too overwhelming for Bella. She was a great liar.

My family came in and out of Bella's room often during her change. Even Rosalie and Jasper seemed to be closer to her now. Jasper I could understand but Rosalie was different. She had never understood my relationship with Bella and from her thoughts she still didn't completely get it but she felt sorry for her. It was like she understood her pain. Almost like she had a connection to her now somehow.

Jasper felt responsible. Not in the same way as Alice or even myself but almost in a paternal way. He would come in and just sit in the corner of the room focusing on Bella trying to feel anything. He had gotten so frustrated that first day and a half but somewhere in the middle of the night during day two things had changed. He had run into the room, right up to Bella, and told us he felt her. It had been the first ray of sun in my personal night. Since then he had barely left her side.

I on the other hand hadn't moved. Carlisle had wanted me to go hunting with most of the family but I just grunted at him. I wouldn't speak, I wouldn't move until Bella woke up. Whatever happened I would be here with her. I would help her whether she hated me now or not.

"Edward?" I heard Alice at the door. "It's time." I tore my eyes away from Bella. I had heard her heart pounding faster but I didn't realize that it was so close. "I'll get the other."

I looked over at Bella lying there so peacefully. I almost wanted her to scream again or thrash about. At least then I would know that she was there. I could hold her and try to make this better for her. I leaned down in the few last minutes I had with her alone and pressed my lips to hers. They were hard now but still quite warm. I stole one last kiss just in case she woke and wanted nothing more to do with me. One last moment to last me through eternity so that my heart wouldn't shatter again.

I heard everyone come back in. They all hovered around the door with the exception of Carlisle and Alice. Jasper tried to hold her back behind him in case Bella's newborn strength and anger became too much but Alice just pushed him aside and let everyone know that she had seen that things would be fine. Carlisle walked over to her and placed his hand on her forehead gently.

"It's strange." He said with his brow drawn together. "She still feels so warm but her heart is beating so fast. It's stronger and faster than Emmett's had been." He turned to Jasper. "Can you tell what she is feeling?"

"Right now it's just the pain." He told him. "Before the only emotion I could get from her was determination. Like she was fighting something."

"Like to get back to us?" Esme asked.

"Maybe" Jasper shrugged his shoulders.

I barely paid them any attention. I was so focused on Bella's heartbeat. It had been the most significant sound in my world and if there were only a few of them left I wanted to hear everyone. I closed my eyes memorizing the sound. Holding on to as much of my Bella as I could. All too quickly it stopped. I opened my eyes but Bella was still laying there. She still hadn't moved.

_She's nervous,_ I heard Jasper think.

_She's beautiful, _Esme chimed in.

_Call to her Edward,_ Alice's thoughts reached me more than anyone else's. _She needs to hear you_.

"Bella?" I whispered so softly that I wasn't even sure she could hear me but just as I was about to say it again her eyes opened. Her beautiful, wonderful, brown eyes looked around the room.

_Brown eyes_? I was lost. _How where her eyes still brown?_

_Look at her eyes Edward_, Carlisle prompted me to focus where I had already been staring. _They are still brown? I've never seen anything like it._

I didn't know what to say. My Bella still had brown eyes. Those amazing depths were still there taking everything in. I looked at Carlisle but I couldn't speak.

"Bella?" Carlisle tried. "Can't you hear me? Can you say anything now?"

"Thank you" she whispered to no one in particular. "Thank you." She sat up slowly; much to slow for a normal newborn vampire. "I thought I would never be able to move again." Her voice was more musical that any piece of music performed by the best of orchestras.

"Well, I must say that we are so glad to have you back." Carlisle smiled at her.

"I'm glad to be back." She laughed and it was so much more musical and beautiful than any other vampire I had ever heard. She had always told me that I dazzled her but right now I was the one that was dazzled. "Charlie?" She asked looking around until she found Alice.

"He is fine." Alice replied. "Worried about you but otherwise fine."

"What did you tell him?" She inquired.

_How is she so in control_, Jasper asked.

"I told him you got sick while in California and that you were in the hospital and couldn't talk at the moment." Alice explained. "He is getting rather anxious about the whole thing."

"Maybe I should call him?" She floated off the bed in one of the most exquisite moves I had ever seen.

"Well, Bella that would be fine but aren't you thirsty?" Carlisle asked.

She tilted her head to the side and looked up as if in deep thought. It was a look I had seen countless times and I felt such relief that she was still my Bella. I had known she would retain most things that made her well her but to see it in front of me made me smile.

"No not really." She shrugged. "It's strange because I know that I should be but I feel fine. Normal even."

We all stared at her. Of all things this was not normal. First the eyes and then not wanting blood. No newborn woke up not wanting blood. My smile quickly vanished. Had I done something wrong? Did I screw Bella up somehow? Could I not even get destroying her soul right? I dropped my head into my hands.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked.

"It's nothing." Carlisle soothed. "We are just quite surprised by your control is all."

"And the eyes" Emmett spoke up.

"But mostly the control" Jasper added.

But Bella didn't hear him. "What's wrong with my eyes?" Bella's voice grew alarmed.

"Nothing" Esme's calming voice spoke. "It's just that they are a little different."

"Different how?"

"She just blushed." I heard Rosalie exclaim and quickly looked up to see the faint stains of crimson leaving Bella's cheeks.

"This is so different" Carlisle sounded intrigued. "And yet interesting."

"Will someone tell me what is going on?" Bella yelled.

"Calm down Bella." Jasper sent out a wave of calm. This is more like a newborn.

"I'm fine Jasper." She immediately ran over to him at vampire speed and embraced him in a loving hug. I didn't mean to but jealousy flooded my body. Why was she hugging Jasper so affectionately? After everything that has happened between them. Had I missed something?

Jasper sensed my mood and looked over at me with wide eyes. _Edward surely you know that this is just friendship?_ Jasper questioned. _If it were something else Alice would be ripping her apart right not. You know how jealous she can be. Relax, Bella and I have made peace_. I wanted to be okay but she still hadn't let go of him.

"Thank you Jasper." She said finally releasing him. "I felt you trying to help me in Brazil and then when we arrived back here. I wanted to let you know that I was okay but I couldn't reach you. What you did meant a lot to me." She kissed him on his check and turned to Alice.

"And I don't want you to feel not one more moment of guilt." She grabbed her shoulders. "You are the bestest of friends and I wouldn't trade a moment of any time I get to spend with you. Even if it means that I have to go shopping in LA all over again." Alice giggled and pulled her into a huge hug.

"I knew everything would be okay." Alice said tapping her head and they both fell out in laughter at some private joke. What was worse was that Jasper seemed to be in on it too. What was going on?

Bella made her way over to Carlisle next. "You will always be the finest of doctors to me and I hope that I don't need you anymore in the near or distant future; at least not in a medical way." She kissed him on the check and giggled.

"That is my hope too." Carlisle smiled.

"Don't I get a hug?" Emmett sounded so hurt. I wanted to tell him to get in line. She had made her way through half of my family, our family, and hadn't spared a glance at me yet. She hated me. I knew that I shouldn't have listened to my family and turned her. She would resent me for all eternity now.

"Of course." She drifted over to him and he pulled her off the ground and swung her in the air. I was about to tell him to be more gentle when I heard him wince.

"Watch it Bella." He sat her down. "You might actually be stronger than me?"

"I doubt it." Her face radiated so much happiness right then that I couldn't help but smile. Maybe I was just over reacting. Maybe she would be okay with being a vampire. "But if I am maybe a little arm wrestling later?"

"Hell yeah, count me in." Emmett raised his hand up and high fived her while everyone else laughed.

She looked over to Rosalie and everyone quieted down. "I know that we haven't gotten along in the past but I would hope that now that I am like you we might be able to put that all behind us?" She asked timidly.

All eyes stayed fixed on Rose and she smiled down at Bella. "Well, were sisters right?" Bella laughed. "It would be wrong to be mean to you now."

"Thank you Rosalie." She stretched out her hand but Rosalie pulled her into a soft hug. It was how I had wanted them to be all along. _I am doing this for you Edward. I want you both to be happy_. Rosalie looked me over Bella's head and I just nodded extremely touched by her motivations.

Finally she turned to Esme and looked as if she was going to cry. "I know at some point I am going to have to say goodbye to Renee, but knowing that you are here makes that transition so much less painful." She reached up and hugged her. "Thank you for caring for me as a daughter."

"How could I not?" Esme pulled her back lightly and cupped Bella's face in her hands. "You make it so easy."

I was the last vampire standing so to speak. The only one that she hadn't address yet. The one that had hurt her the most and the one that loved her more than my own existence. I saw her hesitate and then turn toward me. My breath logged in my throat and I waited. She had hesitated. That couldn't be a good sign. She walked over to me slower than any of the others and I noticed that my family had quickly left the room.

She stopped right in front of me and I didn't know what to do. Every muscle within me was screaming out to pull her into my arms and tell her how much I loved her while kissing every inch of her I could. But after everything I had done I didn't know if she would be receptive to that. So I stood there waiting.

Bella looked down quickly, blushed and rushed into my arms. She wrapped herself around me in the hardest most amazing hug we had ever shared. This was my Bella I thought as my arms wrapped around her. This was my angel, no matter what; she would always be my angel. My lips found their way to her forehead and my hands tangled in her hair. I was amazing to be able to hold her without having to hold back. I breathed her in both saddened and happy to not feel the burn in the back of my throat. Yet I could still feel the warm of her. I didn't understand it but in that moment I didn't care. Bella was back in my arms. She was where she belonged; where I needed her to be and the only thing I could concentrate on was the feel of her body pressed against mine.

"I love you" She spoke to me for the first time since I walked away from her in the woods. I knew it had only been a few months but it felt as if it could have been a lifetime. "Thank you for changing me. Whether you wanted to or not."

"Bella" I couldn't say anything other than her name. "Bella"

"I'm sorry." She started to pull away but I held her firm. I couldn't let her go yet. I couldn't let her go ever.

"Don't" I whispered. "Stay" My arms pulled her closer to me. "I love you and I am so sorry."

"You don't have to say that." I felt her stiffen in my arms. This wasn't what she wanted anymore but I couldn't release her. I needed to feel enough to last for eternity.

"I mean it, Bella." I looked down into her clear brown eyes and smiled. "I love you and I never should have left."

"Which time?" She pushed me away.

"Bella"

"Which time, Edward?" Her voice rose.

"All of them" I reached for her again hoping that I wasn't too late. "I'm sorry."

"And you think that makes everything all better?" She narrowed her eyes. "You left me. You left in the woods. You left me in Brazil. It seems like every chance you have ever had you have walked away from me." She walked over to me. "How am I supposed to forgive that? How am I supposed to believe anything you say?" She turned from me then. "How am I supposed to trust you?"

"Bella, I am sorry." I grabbed her face in my hands. "I am so incredibly sorry and I will make it up to you. I will earn your trust again, I promise."

"I'm not sure you can." She placed her warm hands on top of mine. "I gave you everything Edward. I trusted you with my heart, my soul, my life. I was willing to give up that life to be with you. To spend forever by your side and at the first true test of your love for me you walked away. Not only did you leave but you took your family with you. You erased all proof that you were ever in my life."

"Do you what it was like to spend months without not just you but everyone that I had come to think and care for as family. To not have Alice to drag me shopping even though I hated it but could laugh at her enthusiasm. Not to be able to talk to Esme as I would Renee if she still lived here. To go to the hospital and have some other doctor treat me all the while remember Carlisle's smile and light touch. To not have Emmett to make fun of me or make me laugh for no good reason but that he was just being himself. Hell, I even missed Rosalie glaring at me and making me think she was going to eat me any minute. You took all of that and left me with nothing."

"Not to mention that whole that you ripped out of my chest. The space where you had to have reached in and pulled out my heart because it left with you. I couldn't breathe Edward. I couldn't live and the only thing that kept me from finding the nearest hill and jumping was that stupid promise I made to you to stay safe." Alice's vision had been right. I closed my eyes not wanting to see the pain that I had left her in.

"And then to hear you still refusing to change me while your whole family was willing just so that I didn't have to spend my life in that coma. To hear Jasper, Emmett and even Carlisle have to threaten you to get you to do it. Do you know how bad that hurt? To know that you didn't want me by your side for eternity even if it would save me? That isn't something you can just kiss away."

"Bella" I didn't know what to say that could fix all that I had broken. I deserved her hatred and her scorn. I had destroyed so much more than her soul. I had destroyed her life.

"I need time." She removed my hands from her face. "I need to think this through. I love you Edward but I'm not sure I can forgive you. I'm sorry." She turned and walked out the door.

She was gone. It was nothing short of what I deserved; to have her walk away from me but still it was a pain like none I had ever felt. I had lost her. I would have to spend eternity knowing that I had hurt the most important person in my world so much that she couldn't forgive me.

_She still loves you Edward_ I heard Jaspers thoughts and turned to find him standing next to me.

"But it isn't enough." I sat on Bella's bed with my head in my hands.

_She didn't say that_ he reassured. _She just asked for time_. He patted me on the shoulder and walked away.

He was right. She didn't hate me. She had said that she still loved me. It was just a matter of trust. I had had it once before; could I earn it again? Could I be the man that I had been to Bella? Could I prove to her that she had my heart once more? That she had always had my heart? I had to because it couldn't exist without hers.

She was mine now forever even if we were apart. I wouldn't lose her again; I wouldn't. I would do whatever, be whatever she needed to win her back. Bella was my life and I had foolishly taken that for granted, but she was here now and she was immortal. There were no more barriers and the only obstacle was her trust. She had asked for time. I smiled to myself. Luckily that was the one thing we both now had in spades.

_**AN: Double posting Thursdays are back!! Yayyyyy! I couldn't help myself I just had to do it. I hope that means I get like 50 reviews or something. Let me know what you think. I look forward to reading. See ya next chapter.**_

_**Don't make be blue; please review!**_

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	4. Chapter 3: NEW

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

NEW

**Bella POV**

I had walked away from Edward. I had left him in that room all alone. I knew I should feel vindicated somehow but all I felt was sad. I had said goodbye to the love of my life and I didn't want to. Could I do this? Could I let him go when all I wanted to do was relive those brief moments in his arms?

He had never held me like that before. It was like he was holding nothing back. Which in some ways makes sense. I had always known that he couldn't be completely his self with me for fear of hurting me or killing me but now he would have that concern. I wasn't as breakable as I had been before. I mean I had made Emmett wince and he was the strongest vampire I knew. No, Edward and I wouldn't have to hold anything back now except maybe my heart.

That was the one thing that was still as breakable as before and he had broken so much in the past few months. He had taken every chance I had given him and hurt me worst than I had ever thought he could. Even the three days of torture and pain couldn't compare to the misery he had left me in when he had walked out of my life; both times.

Still he had said he loved me and I so wanted to believe him. The way that he had held me and the look of pain in his eyes had made me doubt how sure I had been that he didn't want me anymore. Maybe I could stay with the Cullen's for a short time and see if Edward truly meant what he said.

But what if I was just setting myself up for another heartbreak? Could I make it through a third time? Would I end up stuck in my head again? This time for all eternity? Was I willing to take that chance?

"Bella" I heard Jasper coming up behind me. "Why are you just standing on the stairs?"

"I was just thinking." I couldn't tell him about my contemplation of Edward.

"You know that I can feel your emotions again right?" I grimaced. "You aren't afraid to go join the rest of the family, are you?"

"No it was a little more personal than that." I looked away. I knew that Jasper and I had become better friends, family, since our little adventure to follow Alice's plan but there were still a few things I wasn't willing to admit to him.

Apparently I didn't need to because he looked back up the stairs and whispered, "I understand."

I just smiled at him. He was such a good man and if I had to be here for eternity I was lucking to have the wonderful people that I had surrounding me.

"Shall we finish heading downstairs?" He turned back and prompted me.

I nodded and resumed my trek down to the main level where I had heard everyone else. Even though I wasn't scared about joining them I was a little nervous. This was the first time that I would be included in a family meeting or whatever they were having down there as a vampire. Sure I had set in on a few of their family discussions with Edward but I would be a part of this one. One of the family and that could be a little intimidating.

"Bella it's okay." I felt Jasper's calming influence.

"Thanks Jasper" I breathed deep. "Sorry but it can be just a little intimidating."

He laughed at me. "You have to be one of the strangest people alive, well sort of alive." He laughed harder.

"What do you mean?" I tried to look hurt, but his laughter was contagious. As I heard a few giggles coming from the living room I began to wonder if maybe he was sending out a humorous wave to.

"Well, you walked into a house full of vampires as a human and felt completely fine but now that you are one of us you find us intimidating." He shook his head. "It's just funny is all."

I heard more laughter from inside the room and immediately felt embarrassed. Jasper apparently picked up on my mood change because he was instantly somber.

"I'm sorry Bella, I didn't mean to make you feel embarrassed." He put his arm around me. It was strange to be this close to Jasper even after everything we had been through but it was nice to think of him as a brother and know that he wasn't still feeling guilty about my party.

"It's okay." I reassured him. "I would have felt embarrassed as a human and it's nice to see that some of my traits carried over." I smiled up at him. "That I'm still me more or less."

"Of course you are." He said smiling. "We all retain what makes us ourselves. You are who you are. Nothing can change that."

"Thanks."

"Anytime" He dropped his arm and looked behind him quickly but when I turned I didn't see anything so I let it drop. "Ready?"

I took a deep unnecessary breath and walked past him into the room.

"We were beginning to think you guys were going to hang out in the hall all day." Emmett laughed.

"Emmett" Esme scolded. "She is already nervous enough. Don't tease."

"But that's what I do." Emmett's quizzical face made me giggle a little to myself. It was exactly what I needed to make me feel right at home.

"It's okay Esme" I let her know. "Emmett wouldn't be Emmett if he didn't make fun of me." I saw his smile widen. "It's just nice to know that now I have eternity to get back at him for all his jokes."

Everyone laughed with me while Emmett fell on the floor rolling in laughter. "This is going to be great." I heard him speak in between huge gulps of air as he continued to roll on the floor.

"Emmett, get up." Rosalie shook her head and reached out to him. "I swear. You can be worse than a little kid sometimes."

"But that's why you love me." He wrapped her in his big arms and pulled her onto his lap while nuzzling her neck as she laughed and batted at him.

I felt a slice to my now dead heart. Edward use to do things like that and now I was part of his family, as unbreakable as he, and he was nowhere to be found and it was my fault. I wouldn't drive him from his family. No as soon as I was strong enough I would make my own way in this new world. I would find another family I could belong to. Just the thought twisted that slice deeper in my heart.

"If you two are done make us sick we really have other things to discuss." Alice spoke to Rosalie and Emmett but her eyes remain on me. I couldn't help but wonder if she had seen the decision I had just made. Fortunately if she did she didn't say anything. She simply turned to Carlisle and asked him to continue.

"What about Edward?" Carlisle shot a quick look in my direction before turning back to Alice. If I had still been human I might have missed it.

"I'm here." I heard his velvety smooth voice behind next to me. Without my realizing it he had managed to come into the room and sit right next to me.

"Alright then" Carlisle looked around. I found myself doing the same. Everyone was paired up. Rose was still on Emmett's lap, Jasper and move next to Alice and had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, and Esme was sitting closely with Carlisle's hand resting gently in hers. Even Edward and I were sitting as if we belonged together. He wasn't touching me but he was sitting close enough that I could feel the electricity coming off of his body. I looked up and he smiled that crooked smile that had stolen my heart. It was too much after the week I had had. He was too close and I inched away just a little to give my emotions some room.

"As you all know we have quite a few decisions to make now that Bella is a true member of our family." I looked around again and everyone was smiling at me. "And although we are extremely happy about this it does present quite a few problems."

"Charlie and Renee" I spoke.

"Yes, your parents are our number one problem at the moment." Carlisle nodded at me. "Not to mention that we aren't suppose to be here. Our family is suppose to be in California and we bit you." His eyes flashed to Edward. "Which does violate or treaty with the Quileute tribe."

"But they aren't wolves anymore." Esme added.

"This is true but…."

"Well actually" I interrupted Carlisle and everyone's eyes glued into mine.

"Bella do you know something about the wolves?" Edward asked with alarm lacing his voice.

"Does this have to do with that Jacob guy?" Alice asked.

"Who the hell is Jacob?" Edward's voice jumped in on Alice's. "Jacob Black?"

"Bella?" Carlisle finished.

"Jacob is a friend of mine that happens to be part of the Quileute tribe." I told them not really wanting to betray Jacob but feeling as though they needed to know that there was a real possibility that the werewolves weren't completely gone.

"Is he….surely he can't be…." Esme stumbled.

"You're dating a werewolf?" Rosalie jumped right in.

"NO!" I screamed.

"Easy Rose" I felt Jasper calm me. "She is still young."

"Sorry" Rosalie sat back a little more on Emmett's lap.

"No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry." What was wrong with me?

"It's okay Bella." Edward pulled my hand into his. "It's normal for a newborn to have heightened emotions. Your fine." He smiled at me. I knew it was wrong but I leaned my head on his shoulder. I was setting myself up for heartache but I couldn't help it. It felt too right.

"Bella just tell us what you know" Carlisle said calmly.

"Jake and his father have been friends of my dad and I for as long as I can remember." I started. "Recently we had been sort of hanging out. In a strictly friend capacity." I added when I felt Edward stiffen up under me. I lifted my head and smiled timidly back at him. "Right before I left Charlie insisted that I have dinner with them on the reservation." Edwards hand held mine tighter.

"Alice didn't want me to go. She was worried." I smiled at her. "But Charlie would hear none of it. When we got there and Billy and Jacob heard that I was going away with her they started to act really strange. Later that night when I was talking to Jacob I asked if he was a werewolf and he said not yet. He implied that it was a strong possibility."

"Well, that doesn't help." Carlisle began as I finished. "I would really not like to have to deal with them again."

"I say bring it." Emmett flexed. "With eight of us we can definitely take them now." He winked at me.

"Oh no." I shook my head. " I couldn't hurt Jake. He's just a kid."

"Alice what do you see with regards to the Jacob person?" Edward asked. I could tell that he was trying not to focus on my concern for Jake but if I was still human my hand would be nothing but broken bones at this moment he was hold it so tight.

"Nothing" Alice pouted. "It is the most damnable frustrating thing but I can't see anything about him. Even when Bella was with him I saw nothing. She completely disappeared when she got there."

"Plus the night before remember?" Jasper looked from Alice to me and back.

"That's right." Alice mentioned. "I couldn't see you then either and that was when you said you had been hanging out. Plus the smell."

"What smell?" I asked confused.

"When Alice and I got to your house there was a weird disgusting smell at your front door." Jasper informed me.

"And it was stronger in your house." Alice added. "Although it was the strongest in your room." She looked wearingly over to her brother.

"He was in your room." Edward snarled.

I knew that I should be scared but all I could think was, he's jealous. I had to fight to hold back my smile. He was actually jealous of Jake. It was almost comical. Here I sat next to him, a vampire, ready to spend forever with him if only I could trust him again and he was jealous that I might have been with someone else while he was gone.

The irony was priceless. He had told me to go and find someone else. To settle down and be happy and grow old and still he thought he had the right to be upset because I might have taken his advice. I shook my head and a let a humorless laugh escape my lips.

"I don't see anything funny." He was staring at me with that intense look in his eyes.

"Really" I looked right back at him. "You told me to find someone else and you have the audacity to be jealous because I listened. Please that is comedy at its best."

"But I meant a human. Not someone who could hurt you worse than me."

"You think there is someone out there that could have possibly hurt me worse than you have?" He was ridiculous.

"He could have killed you!" Edward yelled.

"I would have welcomed it to stop the pain I was in!" I yelled back standing up. "You don't get to hurt me and leave me and then waltz back in and get all upset because I might have done some things while you were gone that you done approve of. If you were so concerned you should have stayed."

"I couldn't" Edward stood too looking down at me. "I was trying to protect you."

"Well great job." I said with as much sarcasm as I could manage. "Clearly I was just fine while you were gone. Matter of fact, you want to leave again and see how I well I do?"

"Do you want me to leave?" He sounded so hurt.

I looked up begging to whoever was out there to give me the patience I needed to make it through living with him. "When has it ever been about what I want?"

"Bella"

"Easy Edward" Jasper warned. "I can't calm her."

"I wanted to be changed last year after everything with James but NO you said I should enjoy my human life and it wouldn't make a difference and you would stay." I poked him in his rock hard chest. "I wanted you to stay after my birthday but you said you didn't love me anymore and left." I could hear everyone's gasp behind me but it was like I couldn't stop.

"Is that not what he told you?" I turned to them. "Did he tell you that he explained everything to me and I understood?" I turned back to him. "Did you forget to mention to them that you told me you need a new 'distraction'?"

"Please Edward, tell me when our relationship has ever been about what I wanted!" I screamed and knew that if I didn't get out of this room right now I was going to do him physical damage and now that I could it didn't seem right.

I ran as fast as I could away from him, away from that house and my new family, away from the pain I could still see reflected in his eyes. I had hurt him and it was like I couldn't stop. How could I live in the same house as him and get along? I didn't think it was possible.

Before I could think I was in front of my old house. I could see Charlie's cruiser in the drive. I wanted to go up the stairs, walk in and act like nothing had changed but I knew that I couldn't. I had changed. This wasn't my life anymore. All that hoping to hold on to my humanity had been for nothing. I couldn't go back. I was stuck with a new life, a family that loved me, and I man that I loved but couldn't stop hurting.

I turned to go just as someone down the street was taking out their trash. The wind changed and the smell hit me. The trash had almost masked it but couldn't hide the enticing aroma that flooded through my senses. My eyes darkened, my stance crouched down and my lips pulled back over my teeth. I was hungry.

**AN: Hello FanFiction family. I am so sorry that it took longer to get this out than I originally planned. I also meant to send out a preview but seeing as how I am getting ready to go reply to the 26 (WOW) reviews I have right now then it almost doesn't seem right to add a preview since you can just read this chapter. However, I am trying to make sure I have some for the reviews to this one so leave me a message.**

**Don't make me blue; please review.**


	5. Chapter 4: ALONE

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

ALONE

**Edward POV**

I stood there completely in shock. I couldn't believe that Bella could think any of that. How could she think that our relationship hadn't been about her? She was my whole life. My reason to exist. Everything I did I did with her mind; with her best interest at heart. My world was nothing but her. I had suppressed my desire for her blood to keep her alive. I hadn't given into the temptation of her body so that I wouldn't lose control around her. I had left to protect her and yet she saw each act as selfish. How could she?

My life had ceased to be about me the minute I feel in love with her it was all about Bella. What she might like, where she might like to go, how to stay with her and not hurt her, how to keep her alive. Clearly I had screwed up the last part but I had done my best. My every thought had been about her and she didn't realize it.

_How could he?_ – Emmett

_Did he really tell her he didn't love her?_ – Esme

_Son, she was just upset. She will be back._ – Carlisle

_Maybe I should have kicked his butt in Brazil._ – Jasper

_Serves you right if she doesn't forgive you. Of all the ass backwards things to say; you tell her you don't want her. Way to go genius. _– Rosalie

_No wonder she didn't believe that he still loved her. Brazil makes so much more sense now._ – Alice

And to top everything off my family's thoughts were screaming at me. I knew I should be going after Bella but I couldn't make myself move. The only thought going through my head was that I had lost her. I mean if I couldn't get her to see that my every action was for her before how could I convince her now.

No, I won't accept that I thought. We could work this out. I could try harder; listen more. No more flying off the handle as I had just done. I would have to be more understanding but didn't she understand how hard that was to do when she had put her life in danger?

I had left to protect her. To make sure that she led a nice normal human life. Safe and happy and long, but she had run out and found the next monster that she could. The only thing worse than a vampire. Not only found him but allowed him into her life; into her room. What had she been thinking?

And then to say that she would have welcomed death. I had spent the better part of a year keeping her alive and she would have thrown it all away simply because I wasn't here. She had promised me that she would stay save. She should have been able to move on. I had wanted her to move on. At least that was what I kept telling myself.

But I was lying. I hadn't wanted it. I hadn't wanted her with anyone but myself. That was the selfish part. That was the part that she missed. The part of me that was glad that she was a vampire. The part that had been dying to turn her since that first moment in biology. That was glad that I wouldn't have to share her. That she could be mine for eternity. That I wouldn't have to hold any part of myself back from her. That I could be the man that married her, made love to her, and held her forever.

I heard Emmett clear his throat behind me. "Sorry to interrupt your soul searching or whatever but are you going to go after her or are you going to just stand there with your thumb up your butt and let her massacre the whole town?"

"Emmett, really" Esme reproached.

"What?" Emmet looked over to her. "He is just standing there."

"And she is barely an hour old" Jasper added. They were right I needed to go get Bella, but where could she have gone.

"I don't see her massacring the town." Alice jumped in. _At least not yet_, she thought to me, _sorry Edward_.

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" I voiced.

"Why would you think that?" I could hear the sarcasm dripping from Rosalie's voice. "Just because you told her she was a distraction and to move on and then changed her into a vampire and decided to get mad because she did."

"Haven't we had enough for the day?" Carlisle scolded.

"It's okay Carlisle, I deserve it." I dropped my head in my hands. "I hurt her."

_Duh_, Rosalie never could help rubbing anything in.

_You were trying to protect her_. Carlisle was always one to help. _She will come around_.

"I'm not sure." I answered his silent statement. Doubt was starting to worm its way into my mind. I loved Bella more than anything but I just wasn't sure I could convince her of that.

"You aren't sure about what?" Emmett jumped in hating to not be included in any conversation.

"If I can get Bella back" I whispered.

"Well you can't do it sitting on your ass." Rosalie stated.

"Since when are you Bella's biggest champion?" Alice looked over at her. "You were the one that called him in Brazil and told him how he was better off without her and that she was suicidal."

"You did what?" Emmett boomed.

"What?" Rosalie didn't look phased at all by Alice's statement. "He had a right to know that Alice and Jasper were interfering in Bella's life. It was the one thing he asked of us after we left. Not to mention that if she was going to take her own life wouldn't it be better if he heard it from family verses finding out some other way?"

"But that wasn't why you called." Jasper narrowed his eyes on her. "You felt vindicated. You still do. Like you had been right all along about Bella being in danger."

"Well wasn't I?" Rosalie never backed down. "Edward pulls her into our world and first everyone has to rally around her to fight James. Then Alice decides to throw a 'human' birthday party at a 'vampire' house and you almost kill her yourself." She pointed to Jasper just as he winced. "Finally you two go running after not only Bella but Edward and whatever happens in Brazil puts her in a coma and Edward has to turn her. You're going to try and tell me she was safe with us all along?"

"Rosalie…" Esme shook her head. "That isn't the point. You shouldn't have called."

"So it would have been better that he not have known?" She asked.

"Nothing was going to happen." Alice put in.

"You are the one that saw her jump." Rosalie stared her down.

"That was like forever ago." Alice rolled her eyes. "I had seen so many other things since then. Including Edward going back."

"What?" I looked over at her.

_You weren't completely decided_, she told me. _I didn't see the point in bringing it up. Besides it ended badly. _And then I saw myself at the hospital with Bella lying quietly in a bed. It looked just as she had before I changed her except that her eyes were open and she was staring at nothing. She didn't recognize my voice, but kept staring. It was the same psychotic break but a hundred times worse.

"Are you two talking again?" Emmett whined. _I hate it when they do that._

"Sorry but some things are private." Alice shrugged at him. "The point is that what is done is done. We all made mistakes. Myself included." She grimaced. Alice hated to admit ever doing anything wrong. "We are all here now and we have to not only help Bella, all of us." She looked pointedly at Rosalie. "But we have to figure out what to do next."

"We have to leave." Jasper strategized. "Look if the wolves are back and we just violated the treaty then we need to go as soon as possible. Especially if Bella is friends with one of them."

"What if she isn't ready to leave her life behind?" Always the mother, Esme was so concerned for Bella.

"We might not be able to wait for that." Carlisle rubbed her hand.

"I say if we want to stay then we fight." Emmett smiled. "Whether it is eight to whatever or seven to the same number; I like our odds."

"Where are you going?" I looked over at Jasper who was headed toward the door.

"You may be more worried that she might not want to see you right now but I have dealt with more newborns that anyone should." Jasper explained. "Someone needs to go after her."

"She's probably just in the woods." Rosalie voiced.

"Do you care?" Jasper asked.

"Of course I care." Rosalie looked stunned. "Everyone listen because I am only going to say this once." She looked around at all of us. "I never didn't like Bella I just didn't like her presence in our lives. I didn't like the unnecessary risk we were taking. Not to mention that Edward was getting his way yet again. But she is family now and I might not always say it but I love my family. Each and every one of you. So get off my back about my feeling towards Bella." With that she crossed her arms hard across her chest and looked out the window.

"We know that Rosie." Emmett wrapped an arm around her.

"I still think someone should go after her." Jasper continued. "Even if she isn't going to massacre the town she is supposed to be in California at deaths door. Anyone could see her. Not to mention that she was really upset when she left and someone should calm her down."

"What exactly is going on between the two of you?" I couldn't help but notice that Jasper seemed to be a little too concerned about Bella. And there had been the way that he had jumped in between us in Brazil. Plus the way she had hugged him first when she woke up. All of this was adding up to something I didn't like.

"Edward please" Jasper scoffed at me. "Have you forgotten that the way you feel about Bella is the way I feel about Alice?"

"But you seem awfully close to her lately." I wouldn't be deterred. "Just before this meeting I came downstairs to find you with your hands all over her."

"Edward, come on" Jasper rolled his eyes at me. "I had one arm on her shoulder and it was because she was upset about you."

"Nice story" I wanted to believe him but they had looked so comfortable with each other kind of like Bella and I use to be.

"Really Edward" Alice walked over to Jasper. "Even if Jasper would betray not just me but you like that do you honestly believe Bella would? I think my best friend wouldn't throw herself at my husband or your brother."

I thought about it and she was right. Bella wasn't that sort of person. She wouldn't be with Jasper knowing how much Alice loved him and how much I loved her. "Your right." I looked Jasper in the eye. "Sorry, I'm just a little crazy right now."

"I can tell." His voice sounded firm but the smirk on his face let me know he was joking. "Never the less it still doesn't change the fact that someone needs to go after Bella."

"Edward and I will do it." Alice rose up and kissed him on the cheek. "We'll be back soon."

Alice took my hand and led me out the front door. I had to admit that I had wanted to go after Bella but I was scared. What if she ran from me again? It was nothing less than I deserved but it was more than I thought I could handle. But it was what I had done to her. I had left her repeatedly and even now it had run through my mind.

When she had mentioned me leaving again I had thought that was what she wanted and when she had left part of me had thought the best way to help her would be for me to leave. I didn't want to but I also didn't want her in pain. I would do whatever would make this the easiest for her.

_Oh no you don't_, Alice's thought interrupted me.

"What Alice?"

"After everything you are really thinking of leaving her again." Alice stopped walking and placed her hands on her tiny hips.

"Not seriously." I tried but she stared right through me. "Okay fine maybe. I just want her to be happy and I don't want my presence to hinder her."

"You don't get it do you?" Alice looked like she might hit me again. "She went into a coma because you left her. She was already depressed beyond believe after the first time and her body couldn't handle it. Rosalie wasn't wrong about the vision you know." She replayed a vision of Bella standing on a cliff with her arms outstretched and her eyes closed. I saw her mouth move slightly as if she was whispering something and then her body fall.

"Was that real?" My dead heart dropped to my feet. Bella had been thinking of killing herself.

"It was one of the many different visions I had of her." Her voice grew faint. "It was the one that convinced me that I had to do something. That I couldn't just sit here and watch."

My breath clogged in my throat. Why, was the only thought going through my head. Why would she do it? I doubted that she could have been in the same amount of pain that I had been in. She was supposed to have forgotten me. She was supposed to have healed and moved on.

"I had to do." Alice had continued as if misinterpreting my silence to be anger for her interference. "I couldn't sit by and watch my best friend kill herself and you kept changing your mind. One day you were coming back the next you were going to Italy and the next you were staying in that one room hole and becoming more and more depressed yourself."

"I know"

"So you're not mad at me?"

"No" I ruffed her spiky hair.

"Even though I hit you and called you a jackass?" She smiled up at me.

"Okay maybe for that." I lightly tried to push her as she skipped away.

"Sorry" She smiled.

"It's fine. I should know better than to try anything on a psychic." I laughed.

"Almost as stupid as trying anything on a mind reader." She joked back.

I wanted to continue our banter but my thoughts went back to Bella. How was I going to make this right? I knew I couldn't lose her again but I also knew I had hurt her deeply.

"She will come around." Alice looked up at me.

"She hates me."

"No she doesn't."

"She doesn't trust me." I told her. "It's weird to think that. I mean even in the beginning when there was no reason for her to trust me she did. But now…." I trailed off.

"She's hurt." Alice placed her hand on my arm. "She's confused and she's gone through a lot. Give her time."

"And what happens if she never trusts me again?" I gave voice to my fears. "I'm not sure I could live with her and not be with her for all eternity."

"You won't have to." Alice smiled and tapped her head. "Trust me."

"Alice did you see something?" She didn't answer just smiled bigger and started to skip away from me reciting some designers fall clothing line from some runway show apparently her and Rose had gone to during fashion week in New York.

"You know that gets old right?" I questioned falling in step beside her. "You really have to come up with some new ways of blocking your mind."

She simply laughed at me. "But it's so much fun. I love the look you….." Her voice stopped as her eyes glazed over. I quickly tapped into her mind and saw it. Bella standing on her old street in front of Charlie's house; a neighbor walks trash out; Bella tasting human blood.

Before I was finished viewing the first part of that vision I was in motion. Pushing myself faster than I had ever run before. I had to get to her. Bella would hate herself if she did this and she would blame me. I was the one that turned her into a monster. I should have been there to protect her even if just from herself. I had failed her once again.

When she needed me I had been laughing with Alice and fighting with my family. Getting jealous of her relationship with Jasper and holding him back from finding her. He could have already been there. He could have talked her into coming back home. But no, I had to think that he was stealing her from me when the truth was that I had pushed her away and now this.

"Bella no. Please" I almost cried knowing that she couldn't hear me. I was close but not close enough. That neighbor could be dead by the time I got there and there would be nothing I could do. I had to stop her. I knew Bella and this would kill her.

I could hear Alice far behind me but I couldn't stop. I had let Bella down so many times before but this time when she needed me I would be there. I would get to her. I would protect her from herself. Because God help me if I failed her now.

**AN: You just gotta love Double Posting Thursdays! I might not have done the preview but I bet I score a few brownie points with keeping this up. Okay I'm off to reply to reviews so add a few new ones :).**

**Don't make me blue; please review.**


	6. Chapter 5: HUNGER

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Hunger

**Bella POV**

I made my way silently down the street. The neighbor, a Ms. Balkten, had just walked back into her house. I slowed when I started up her drive. I could feel the two heartbeats within the house and venom pooled in my mouth. This was it. She had left the front door open and I would slide in quietly. They were both in the back room and wouldn't notice me until it was too late. I would snap the one sitting by the walls neck first before draining the one across the room. It would be simple.

But as I moved up the drive my mind caught up with my body begging me not to do this. _Remember who you are_, I thought, _you know these people. Charlie knows these people. She used to bake you muffins when you would come to visit. You don't want to do this. Remember your humanity. Think Bella. This isn't you._

I shook my head. I couldn't do this. I couldn't end a life. Not like this. I turned to leave and the winds changed again bringing their scent to me stronger and faster than before. I turned back more determined to do this than before. I was right at the door when I heard it. A voice I would know anywhere. "Bella no. Please" it begged. I would do anything for that voice and it was just enough to pull me away for good.

I stopped breathing and threw myself away from the house and started running as fast as I could. I couldn't stop the dry sobs that were coming from my body. What had I almost done? I had almost killed two people, one of which I had known, and all because I was thirsty. What kind of person was I that I would do such a thing? I had tried so hard to hold onto my humanity and yet those lives in that instant hadn't meant anything to me. Edward had been right; I was a monster.

I ran farther and farther into the woods until I bumped into a tree. I was ready to feel the ground crash into me but something wrapped around me and steadied my feet. I looked up into the most beautiful and welcomed face I had ever seen. I couldn't stop myself. I wrapped my body around him and held on as if the world was crumbling all around us.

"Shh, it's okay." He soothed. "Bella relax, it okay." There was redemption in those words and I wanted to believe it so bad. I didn't care what he had done to me in the past or whether he wanted me or not. Right now I needed him more than I had ever needed anyone before.

"I almost didn't stop." I told him. "It was so hard."

"It's okay Bella."

"No it's not." I had to get it off my chest. "I could have killed them, Edward. I knew her and I almost killed her."

"But you didn't Bella." Edward pulled me tighter against his chest. "You didn't. I'm so proud of you."

"Proud of me?" I looked up at him trying to understand his statement. "How could you be proud of me?"

"Bella, do you know how hard it is to do what you did?" He smiled his crooked smile at me. "You ran away mid-hunt. Seasoned vampires have a hard time doing that. Especially with human blood but you did it. You haven't been a vampire for a whole twenty four hours and you did something even Jasper would find hard to do."

He was right. I had turned away. I had remembered how he told me that first day in biology that it had helped not to breath around me and I had done it. Still I had come so close. Who knows what I would do the next time some human crossed my path. What if it was Charlie? Would I be able to leave; I didn't know and I didn't want to find out.

"Promise me." I cried into his chest. "Promise me you won't let me hurt anyone. Please promise me." I couldn't stop saying it over and over.

"Never" The hard determination that was present in that one word was powerful. "I promise, love, I'll never let you do anything that would cause you pain." He pulled me back into his arms as they continued to rub soft circle on my back.

"Thank you" I knew he would do it. For as long as he was with me I would be safe. Part of me felt guilty getting him to stay simply to look out for me. But the part that still loved him, that relished being in his arms right now, was relieved that he would still look out for me even after everything I had said earlier.

"Bella?" I heard Alice come up behind us. "Bella, are you okay?"

"I think so" I smiled at her.

"I'm so sorry." She started. "I should have seen it sooner. I don't know what is wrong with me these days. Nothing is coming out quite right."

"Alice, you're fine." I pulled away from Edward to give her a short hug. "I don't think I was making a real decision at the beginning there. I'm the one that's sorry."

"For what?" They both stared at me with mouths open.

"For making you worry." I told them. "For almost putting the family in danger. For almost killing someone." I looked down; the guilt resting hard on my shoulders.

"Bella we all have been through it." Edward lifted my face in his hands. "It's more my fault for not running after you right away."

"Must you always find a way to blame yourself?" I had to ask. I heard Alice giggle.

"He is the king of self-flagellation." She added.

"Sorry, but it is my fault." Edward protested. "If I hadn't made you so angry you wouldn't have run out the house."

"That part is true." I shook my head at him. "But you didn't determine where I would run to. You didn't tell me to stalk the neighbor who brought out her trash. Matter of fact if I hadn't heard you I probably wouldn't have stopped."

"You heard me?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Bella I was way too far away for you to have heard me." Edward exchanged glances with Alice.

"What is it?" I got nervous. "Am I wrong somehow?"

"No, love" Edward pulled me back into his arms. "You're perfect."

"Then why were you two nervous right then?"

"It just seems like your senses are stronger than normal." Alice told me. "It's a good thing."

"You're sure." I had always been wrong somehow so I was sure that I would be wrong now.

"Yes" She said. "So no more worrying."

"Fine" I relax into Edward's arms. I knew I shouldn't but I didn't seem able to pull away.

"Are you still thirsty, love?" He asked me sensitively.

I hadn't been but once he mentioned it the burning in my throat returned with vengeance. I could only nod yes and he seemed to understand.

"Come, we will find you something that will be okay." He smiled and pulled my hand into his.

"You two go ahead." Alice waved us forward. "I'm going to run home and let everyone know that Bella is alright."

"Thanks Alice." Edward smiled at her as if sharing a private joke.

"No problem." She smiled back. "You two have fun." And with that she ran off looking like the most graceful ballet dancer in the world.

"What was that all about?" I turned to him as soon as Alice had left.

"Nothing" that crooked smile was plastered all over his face.

"You know now that my senses are sharper I realized something."

"Hmm"

"You suck at lying."

He threw his head back and laughed louder than I had ever heard him before. "Oh Bella, you are amazing." He continued to laugh but a little quieter. "Let's fine you something to eat." He started pulling me but never answered my question. I started to push but I had to admit that the thirst in my throat was getting worse. There was also the added bonus of his hand holding mine. I would have to be insane to stop that.

We ran for what felt like seconds but had to be miles. I didn't recognize any of the country we were in. I wasn't even sure it was still the US. For all I knew we had ran all the way to Canada or even Alaska. It was crazy to think that I could run cross country now in minutes when before it had taken me hours to hike a mile. I guess the powers of vampire conversion.

"Okay Bella" Edward said after he had stopped. "We should be good here. I don't smell a single human anywhere."

"Good" I smiled at him. We stood there smiling at each other for another few minutes before his face pulled into a crease in between his eyes.

"What's wrong Bella?"

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"You're not hunting." He looked around. "Do you not smell anything that you like?"

"I don't know" I shrugged. "I don't know what to do."

He smiled and I saw his shoulders rise slightly as he mumbled something about sucks and teacher before he turned back to me. "I'm sorry. I forgot that I was supposed to be showing you what to do." He swiped his hand lightly against my check. "Forgive me?"

My breathing stopped and my eyes closed at the electricity of his touch. It was so much more potent now that our skin matched. I nodded and let my body fall into past feelings and new sensations.

"Bella you have to pay attention." His finger tips touched my eye lids beckoning them to open. "First you want to take a deep breath." He continued once I was looking at him. "Once you smell something appetizing then let your instincts take over. Give yourself to it and it will come naturally to you."

I wanted to do it but it sounded too familiar now. All I could think about was back on Charlie's street and how my instincts had almost cost someone their lives.

"It's okay Bella." He squeezed my hand. "You can do it."

"I'm scared."

"Scared? Scared of what?" He pulled me closer.

"What if I hurt someone?" I looked away.

"Bella you and I are the only two people out here." He forced my eyes back to his. "You will be fine."

I closed my eyes and decided to trust him. I breathed deeply and was accosted by every smell present. I could distinguish the different trees and grass. There was a grasshopper not ten feet away from us. The lake that I had heard not that far had six different types of fish floating along and there was a pleasing aroma coming from the north of where we were standing. It wasn't as good as Ms. Balken but it was not bad and I knew it would be safer.

I took off at what has to be the speed of light. Dangers shooting from my eyes as I stalked my prey. I could hear the heartbeat getting closer and closer. When I was within a foot I crouched down readying my body for the next step. When the mountain lion walked across my path I sprang at it without any thought. I landed on its back and felt the start of danger coarse through its body. It didn't deter me; nothing deterred me. I angled the lion and made quick work of finding the jugular and sinking my razor sharp teeth deep in, letting the warmth flow smoothly over my throat. When he was drained I pushed myself off of him and gracefully stood up to find Edward looking directly into my eyes. His body was rigid and his eyes had darkened as if he too was hungry. But his face had an expression that I had never seen before.

"Did I do something wrong?" It was the only thing I could think of.

"No" His voice sounded deeper, husky like. "No you were amazing."

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"I didn't think I would feel like this." He shook his head trying to clear it.

I walked slowly over to him taking his hand in mine. "Like what?"

He closed his eyes and a look of pain flashed across his face. "Turned on" He breathed out.

My not needed breath disappeared and if my heart could beat again it would have been going supersonic fast. He wanted me. Maybe not like before but that was the look I had seen. I touched his face making sure to keep my movements light. Not because I was worried that he might kill me like before but because I was worried he might stop me.

But he didn't. He pulled me close to him, spoke my name on a breath and lowered his head to mine. His lips brushed mine once, twice and then settled in. We moved in unison slowly at first as if waiting for the other to pull away and then quicker letting our emotions take hold. Edward lifted me up and placed me against the tree he had been leaning on. I could feel every inch of his body pressed into mine and it was the best feeling in the world.

This was what I had wanted every since I had met him. The two of us without any constraints. Both of us giving as good as we got. My fingers tangled in his hair as his lips made their way down my jaw and to my neck. I could stay in this moment forever and never get tired. This was my heaven.

"Bella" Edward fitted his body more to mine. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped my throat. It felt so good to be with him. He was kissing me again as he lifted me in his arms and moves us so that we were laying on the forest floor. I could smell all the flowers around me but none of them smelled as sweet and wonderful as the angel that was in my arms. I slipped my hands under his shirt and felt a trimmer go through him as a hiss rushed into my mouth.

"I love you" he mouthed against my ear and my body stiffened. This was my Edward. The love of my life but it was too easy. I couldn't forget the months of pain that he had put me through and the fact that he didn't want me here, not really.

"Edward, stop" I pushed against him and he pulled away with a confused look on his face.

"What is it Bella?"

"I can't" I didn't look at him but stared at the buttons on his shirt.

"Can't what?" He stroked the side of my neck.

"Can't do this." I shook my head and moved so that I was standing a little away from him.

"Did I do something wrong?" He asked making his way to his feet also.

"No, but I'm not ready for this." I couldn't tell him the truth. That I was scared of getting hurt again. "I'm sorry."

He moved instinctively closer to me but stopped himself before he got to close and my body protested but I held my position. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have pushed you."

"You didn't" Of course it would be his fault. "I just…"

"You don't have to explain." He moved closer to me. "Just know that I am here." I nodded. "Are you ready to go home?"

Home. That one word didn't mean the same thing anymore. Home had meant Charlie's or Phoenix with Renee but now home meant with the Cullens, all the Cullens. It was quite overwhelming.

"Sure" I placed my hand in his without thought. "Let's go back."

We walked at human speed not saying a word for most of the trip back. I knew I should be tired but my body felt nothing of the sort. I felt normal with the exception of my mind. I replayed those moments in the forest over and over wondering what would have happened if I hadn't stopped him. It was like I could still feel his arms wrapped around me, his lips moving against mine, his body melting into me.

"What are you thinking?"

I smiled and a short laugh escaped my lips. It was his favorite line. "How some things never change."

"I hope so" He whispered and if I hadn't been a vampire I would have missed it. "What things?" He asked louder.

"You asking what I am thinking for one."

"That is true." He laughed too. "It still frustrates me not to know."

"I know but I'm glad that didn't change when I did." I leaned in closer to him. "I like having my mind private."

"I know" His eyebrows rose. After a few more minutes he continued. "Was that all you were thinking?"

"No" I didn't want to tell him what had really been going through my mind.

"You're not going to say anything more?"

"No"

I could tell that he didn't like that answer but he kept silent. We went back to walking and I looked up when I heard noises. I hadn't realized we were so close to the house.

"Bella" Edward pulled me to a stop. "Before we go in can I ask you something?" I nodded. He looked so serious. "I know that I have hurt you more than anyone else and believe me that was not my intention and I know that no matter how many times I say sorry it will never be enough. But I do love you Bella and I want us to be together again. So I am hoping that maybe we could start over. We can take things as slow as you want. Whatever you want. You don't have to answer now but just think about it. Will you do that? For me?"

I closed my eyes and tighten my muscles. It was the only way to not launch myself at him and finish what we started in the forest. I loved this man and he was saying everything that I so wanted to hear but that nagging voice inside that knew what it felt like to lose him stopped me.

"I don't know." I opened my eyes and looked toward the house. I knew if I looked in his eyes I would give in. "I have to think about it."

"That's all I can ask." His thumb rubbed across my hand. "Come on. Let's go before they start to worry all over again."

I smiled and let him lead me into my new home, my new life, and my new family.

**AN: I just thought I would give you guys a little something extra this week. Plus I the next couple of chapters need this to come out first. So enjoy and I hope those that reviewed can find where the sneak peak was. LOL! Okay see everyone Thursday.**

**Don't make me blue; please review!**


	7. Chapter 6: STORIES

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Stories

**Bella POV**

"Way to go Bella" Emmett high fived me as soon as I walked in the door. I didn't know why but I heard Edward's light growl right behind me.

"What's that for Emmett?"

"You didn't kill anyone." He smiled at me just as I heard Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle scolding hiss behind us. "What? It's a good thing."

"Emmett, I could have easily killed that lady. You shouldn't be congratulating me for barely stopping." I told him.

"But you did stop." He continued not getting the point. "We've all done it and most of us didn't stop. I remember my first hunt. That poor fisherman didn't know…" He was cut off by Rosalie's slap to the back of his head. "Ow, Rosiebaby, that hurt."

"I was just trying to help." She rubbed the spot that moments ago had felt her wrath.

"And how was slapping me suppose to help?"

"I was stopping you from saying something stupid." She kissed the same spot. "Trust me; you will thank me for it later." Even I blushed from the implications of that statement.

"If we could please turn our attention back to what we were discussing before Bella and Edward returned that would be greatly appreciated." Carlisle interrupted and point back to the couch that Edward and I had been sitting on before. "Now Bella we were just going over our options with regard to our next step."

"Okay" I didn't know what else to say so I let him continue.

"We want to give you enough time to adjust but at the same time we don't want to put you in situations like you faced today." My face colored with shame.

"Don't feel guilty, Bella." Esme smiled at me. "Emmett may be a little boorish sometimes but he was right about us all having been there. You only did what comes naturally."

I loved Esme so much. She was such a mother that it was second nature to her to comfort. Being with her for eternity would make the pain of losing Renee so much easier to bare.

"Thank you Esme."

"How come Esme says the same thing I did and she gets smiles and I get hit in the head and called boorish? Emmett protested and crossed his arms across his chest as if he was five. "What does boorish even mean?"

"It's all in the delivery Em, all in the delivery." Jasper told him.

"Fine" He still didn't seem convinced. "Whatever"

"Anyway" Carlisle continued use to so many interruptions. "We were thinking that the best way to continue is to leave."

"So soon?" I asked panic evident throughout my whole body. I reached for Edward's hand and held on as if that was the only way to keep them here. I had just gotten use to them being back and now they were leaving. What would I do? Where would I go? I know I had hoped to be able to go back to Charlie but after what almost happened today I couldn't place him in that kind of risk.

"Bella calm down." Jasper sent waves of calm over to me and I felt my breathing relax as Edward's other arm when around me and pulled me closer to the side of his body."

"We aren't supposed to be here Bella." Carlisle explained. "As far as the town knows we are in California where you are suppose to be sick. If we stay people will realize that something is wrong."

"Not to mention that there is the possible threat of the werewolves." Jasper added.

"That's true." Carlisle picked up after him. "If they are back then we broke the treaty by biting you and it could come to a fight; even a war."

"Bring it on" Emmett jumped in. "I've been itching to take one of those mange pups since we first met them back in the thirties. Build to destroy us my ass."

"Emmett we don't want to fight." Esme looked at him sternly.

"Esme's right." Carlisle resumed. "You don't know what that would do to this community not to mention Bella." Everyone turned to me.

"Me?"

"You know one of them and obliviously are close with them." I felt Edward's arm chinch behind me. "I'm sure you would rather not have to fight him or watch him fight us; possibly die."

I closed my eyes trying to imagine hurting Jacob or watching as Emmett attacked him. I couldn't do it. Carlisle was right. It would hurt too much. I couldn't speak so I just shook my head in the affirmative so that they knew I understood and agreed.

"So it seems that the only way to avoid the wolves and protect you would be to leave."

"How would your leaving protect me?" I hated that excuse. That was what Edward had said earlier and it was killing me to know that he thought his leaving was for my own good. "Wouldn't I be in more danger of hurting someone without you guys here?"

"Bella" Edward smiled next to me. "Love, you would be going with us."

"I would?" I couldn't believe that he wanted me with him. My now dead heart jumped at the implications. "What about before? Or Charlie?"

"None of that matters." He looked into my eyes and it was there. The same love as before. He did want me with him. "Charlie will be okay, but you belong with us now."

"Are you sure?" I wanted to give him one more out. One more chance to change his mind and resume his live without me.

He just smirked and squeezed my hand. "Absolutely"

I looked around and everyone was smiling at me even Rosalie. They all wanted me. I couldn't believe it. I looked back up into Edwards's beloved face and realized that I was his. Forever, my heart would belong with him and he had finally chosen me for all eternity. "Thank you" It was all I could say and then I leaned my head against his chest and felt his arms wrap around me and his lips in my hair.

"Alright that settles that." Alice pulled us away from our private moment. "When do we leave Carlisle?"

"I would like it to be first thing in the morning but we also need to decide where to go and what to tell Charlie." Carlisle moved on with his plans.

"What do you mean where to go?" Rosalie asked. "Why wouldn't we just go back to the house in New York?"

"Because Bella would be too close to town there." Carlisle explained. "We would run the risk of her coming across human blood when she hunted."

"You all could go back to New York and I could take her to the house in Alaska until she learned to control herself." Edward offered and I almost cried. He not only wanted to be with me but he wanted to be alone with me.

"No Edward." Esme shook her head. "This family has been through too much separation over the last few months. Either we all go to Alaska or New York or we all find someplace else. This family is finally complete and I will not have us living in separate cities all over the world again."

"She is right Edward." Carlisle looked over at us. "We move together."

"Then Alaska it is." Jasper stated.

"We have to vote." Rosalie looked a little upset about the prospect of moving to Alaska.

"Rosalie, is there something wrong with Alaska?" We had just started to get along and I didn't want to make her mad now.

"No, but I was enjoying New York." She shrugged.

"How?" Alice shocked eyes looked right at her. "You had barely gotten back from your what number was it honeymoon like a week before Jasper and I left. Had you spend a whole month in that state?"

"I was born in that state, Alice" Rosalie glared at her. "Sometimes it's nice to go home again."

Alice rolled her eyes but didn't say anything else on the subject. She looked over at Jasper and he nodded his head swiftly at her. "Well Jasper and I vote Alaska."

"I vote Alaska." Edward added.

"Carlisle I think it would be best." Esme looked up at him.

"I agree." Carlisle looked over at Emmett and Rosalie.

"Rosie, baby, it's the best way." Emmett pulled her against his chest. "We can always move back to New York when Bella has more control or" He tickled her lightly. "I can take you on another honeymoon and we can spend some time there just the two of us."

"Fine." Rosalie laughed.

"It defeats Esme's goal of having the family all together but we will deal with that later." Carlisle chuckled at them. "I guess that just leaves you Bella."

"Me?" Everyone's eyes were on my face and I felt it flash burnt red.

"You're a member of this family Bella." Carlisle told me. "You get a vote too."

I didn't know what to say. I was pleased that they would include me in their voting but whether I voted yes or no it seemed we were moving to Alaska. I had never been there and had to admit I was somewhat nervous. So instead of voting I asked the questions that were plaguing me.

"What about school? Charlie?"

"You can finish school online. Somewhat like home schooling." Esme answered. "You only have half of your senior year left so it should be relatively easy and whatever you're not sure about then we can help you."

That seemed simple. "And Charlie?" I watched as they all exchanged glances and Edward's arm pulled me closer as if shielding me somehow.

"Bella he thinks you're really sick." Alice started. "Like really, really sick."

"It would probably be best….that is to say we should……it would be better for all concerned…." I had never heard Carlisle at such a loss for words before.

"We should tell him that you're dead." Rosalie took me by surprise.

"What?" I shouted standing up and drowning out Edwards snarl. "You can't do that. It would kill him to think that." I hadn't realized that I had advanced toward her until I felt Emmett's hand on my shoulder both comforting and restraining me at the same time. I noticed that he had also stood and placed himself in between Rosalie and I as a way of protecting her from me.

"Calm Bella" Jasper set yet another wave over me and I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and draw me back to here I had been.

"I'm sorry" I whimpered next to Edward. "I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't seem to get control over my anger."

"It's okay Bella." Jasper reached out and patted my leg as a parent would. "You're a newborn and trust me it's natural for you to have control problems. You're actually doing way better than I would have expected. Much better than I have ever seen."

"What do you mean?" I looked over at him.

"That is a story better saved for another day." Jasper smiled and took Alice's hand in his. "But let's just say that it took quite a struggle to get to this wonderful pixie here beside me."

"Jasper please tell me." I pushed. "If it could help then I need to know."

I saw him look first at Edward and then Carlisle receiving nods from both of them. "I will give you the simple version." He opened up. "You need to know Bella that not all vampires are good. Yes you met James and Victoria but even they would be lovable compared to the ones that I speak of. And not all vampires are created out of compassion or for companionship or love." He looked around the room finally bringing his eyes back to mine. "In the south wars have ruled for almost a century. Vampires fighting for control of the highest populated areas, the most blood if you will, this is what I was born into. I was created as a soldier to help win over as much land as possible. For almost a century I fought alongside one of the most sadistic people who believed that newborns were only good for the strength that they could provide and once spent they should be disposed of and new vampires created."

"The pain of it nearly destroyed me but then a friend of mine that had escaped with his lover, his mate, returned and told me that he had roamed the north and not once run across the fighting and 'blood shed' that I had lived my whole vampire life in. I wanted to go with him but being a good southern boy I couldn't see myself living in the land of Yankees. Yet I didn't trust my creator and when I realized that she was plotting to kill me I left." He looked down at Alice. "It was the best decision I could have made for it lead me to this miracle beside me which lead me to hope and that hope lead us to here."

I felt my heart swell for this wonderful man in front of me. He had been through so much and right then I knew that he was every bit as strong as Emmett. He had lived through hell and still found hope and love. I reached over and gave him another hug. I was so proud to have him in my family and to know that despite all the distance that use to be between us he was so much a brother to me and I was just as close to him as Emmett.

"Thank you Jasper for sharing that with me." I whispered for him alone. "It makes me love you all the more. I am so glad that you are my brother."

"So am I" He whispered pulling back.

"As sweet as this is" Rosalie interrupted. "We still need to figure out what to do about Charlie."

I felt the anger rise up inside of me but closed my eyes and concentrated on calming myself before Jasper could. "Very good Bella" I heard him praise and realized that I had done it.

"I'll call him." I stood and walked over to the phone. Dialing his number the nervousness came back. What would I say? How could I make this right?

"Hello" He answered.

"Dad"

"Bella?" His voice cracked. "Bella is that you?"

"Yeah dad, it's me."

"Bella you sound so different." Charlie went on. "Bella where are you?"

"I'm in the hospital in LA, dad."

"No you're not."

"Excuse me?" My voice caught.

"You are not in a hospital in Los Angeles; any of them."

"What do you mean dad, of course I am." I had always been a bad liar and I was praying that I had gotten better when I became a vampire.

"NO, YOU ARE NOT!" Charlie yelled into the phone. "Your mother flew out there as soon as I called her and she couldn't find you at the hospital Alice had mentioned. Not to mention that they had no record of a Carlisle Cullen ever working there." I gasped silently and looked around knowing that they all could hear but all I found was seven faces that mirrored the shock of my own.

"Then I called every hospital in the LA area and the surrounding area and none of them had a Bella Swan or Isabella Swan registered." He had really done his homework. "So I will ask you again Isabella, where are you?"

I didn't know how to respond. I had been caught in lies before but never with the implications that this held. I couldn't tell him the truth and put him in danger and I didn't know how to make him believe.

"Dad…"

"Does this have anything to do with that couple that came here looking for you?" My dad cut me off.

"What couple?"

"They didn't give me their names but they were both extremely pale and he was medium build black hair and the woman was quite pretty and had the most stunning red hair."

"Dad I have to go." I needed to think and I couldn't do it talking to him.

"Bella what is going on?" He wouldn't let me off the phone. "Talk to me."

I couldn't. Edward was right next to me with his arms around my waist. I could hear him snarling in my ear as if she was the one on the other end and he had to protect me.

Charlie had come to close. They had come to close. I guess I always knew that Victoria would come back for me. That she wasn't really gone, but she had come to my house. She had talked to my dad and by some grace she had left him alive. I couldn't put him in that kind of danger again. I had to figure out a plan but I couldn't tell him. There was no way to explain and it would be putting him in more danger if I tried.

"I can't right now but I will contact you soon." I told him hoping that it was true. "Stay safe, I love you." I hung up the phone before he could protest anymore and turned to the Cullens who wore the same expression as I had.

"Victoria was at my house. She talked to my dad." I was verging on hysterics and I knew it but I couldn't pull myself back. "She could have killed him."

"It okay Bella." Edward pulled me closer. "I'll make it okay."

"How Edward?"

"This is my fault and I will finish this." The hard glint in his eyes scared me more than anything. He would fight her is what he was saying. He would fight her and she could kill him. I had just gotten him back and I couldn't lose him again. Not like this, not this soon.

"You can't fight her." I shook my head.

"She put your family in danger." He looked down at me hate glisten in his eyes but I knew it wasn't for me. "She came looking for you. If you had been there you don't know what she might have done. She could have killed you, Bella." He closed his eyes as his face contorted in pain. "I can't let her live after that."

"We have a bigger problem." Carlisle intruded.

"What?"

"She might still be in the area." He let that settle in. "If we leave tomorrow then we are leaving this town defenseless against her."

"What about the wolves?" Rosalie asked. "Isn't it about time they made themselves useful?" I didn't want to think about Jacob fighting Victoria. She was a vampire indestructible and he was so human, so young."

"It's not their responsibility." Edward didn't take his eyes off me but spoke to her none the less. "It's mine and I will deal with it." He kissed my forehead and turned to Carlisle. "Take Bella and go to Alaska. I will join you when it is done."

"NO" I screamed but it was mingled with the rest of the family.

"Edward, we just settled this." Esme reminded him. "Either we all move or we all stay but no more splitting up."

"Besides, why should you get to have all the fun?" Emmett joked. "Charlie said two of them so that must mean Laurent must be back also and I know I can take that punk in a fight."

"Must you always be willing to run head first into any battle?" Rosalie crossed her arms in front of her.

"Yes" Emmett said without any shame or remorse. "That's one of the things you love about me; my impulsive nature."

"Look whether Emmett wants to fight or not Edward is right." Jasper changed the subject back before Rosalie or Emmett could say anymore. "Victoria and Laurent are our responsibility and they must be dealt with."

"So we are staying here?" I asked more relieved than anything else. Now we could protect Charlie.

"For the moment." Carlisle spoke up. "Alice?"

Her eyes glazed over. "I can't see it Carlisle." She sounded frustrated. "I can see us here and don't worry Bella we will protect Charlie but I can't see Victoria or how long it will take. It's like something is blocking it or someone is not making decisions to thwart me."

I was relieved to know that Charlie would be protected but I didn't like the idea that someone knew enough to block Alice and from the looks on everyone else's faces neither did they.

"Well we will stay." Carlisle concluded. "And tomorrow we will begin to look for Victoria. Woods only. No one goes anywhere near town and Bella you stay here."

"Why?"

"Because you are young and wouldn't be able to fight her if your paths were to cross." Carlisle answered. "Now if you will excuse me I have some calls to make to insure that we have the time we need to figure this situation out." His eyes met Edwards and I knew that he was sharing something with him.

Everyone broke apart after that. Esme headed off to make the house more a home, Rosalie and Emmett went upstairs I assumed to their rooms and Alice and Jasper went outside probably to hunt. I was left with Edward who was still holding me.

"Don't worry Bella" He pulled me into the safety of his body and my arms instinctively went around him. "I'll take care of you and Charlie. I'm not losing you again."

I closed my eyes and let his reassurance wash over me. I needed to believe him and I did. Somewhere during today he had won my trust back; if it was ever truly gone. I knew I couldn't spend eternity without this man and I needed to be with him.

I stood there in his arms and let my body relax. "I know." I said the only think that I could and I hoped that would reassure him too. "I trust you."

**AN: Thursdays are here again. I hope you enjoy. This is the longest chapter so far but there was just so much that needed to be resolved. As always I can't wait to hear your reviews.**

**So don't make me blue; please review :). **_**You know you want to**_**.**


	8. Chapter 7: LOVE

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Love

**Edward POV**

I loved my family but sometimes it was so hard to be around them and right now was no exception. Matter of fact it was harder than before and I knew exactly why; Bella.

I tried shutting my family's nocturnal activities out but they seemed to be screaming at me tonight and it was because of the beauty that was right down the hall. I could still feel her from earlier in the woods. Her body pressed against mine. If she hadn't stopped us I would have made love to her right there.

What was wrong with me? I was raised better than that, better than to take the love of my world for the first time in the middle of the wood like some animal. What had I been thinking? I hadn't. It was being so close to her. Being able to hold her without holding back. Knowing that I can't hurt her anymore, at least not physically. That was the biggest turn on there was.

I so wanted to go down to her. To beg if I had to just to hold her again. To feel her body next to mine as if she was sleeping as before. But I knew I couldn't. I had asked if we could start over and I had promised her that she could set the tone and I couldn't go back on that now. Our relationship was precarious at best and the last thing I wanted was to push her further away. She was my everything and I would suffer alone through as many nights as it took for her to come to me.

Besides there was so many other things to think about like Victoria. Just saying her name in my head elicited a growl. She was back and despite what everyone else said I knew it was my fault. I had been tracking her but I had made one wrong calculation and gone to Brazil and she apparently had come back here.

What if Alice hadn't brought Bella down to get me? Would she have been hurt by Victoria while I had been down in that hell hole wallowing in my own grief? Would I have failed her once more? I hated the idea that something could have happened to Bella while I had been just sitting on a floor not moving. I hated myself for leaving her at all. I should have known that Victoria wouldn't go away but more so I should have realized that Bella and I couldn't live without the other. Her coma proved that.

And now she was here. She was one of us and I couldn't be with her. Not as I wanted to. I had hurt her too much. Still she had said that she trust me tonight. My dead heart had almost beat again upon hearing that. I didn't know if that meant that I stood any sort of chance but it was better than thinking that she could never trust me again. Without trust there couldn't be love and without her love I might as well schedule my trip to Italy right now.

But I couldn't do that. I had promised her that I wouldn't leave her again and I wouldn't. Whether she wanted me back or not I would be here for her. I would do everything within my power to keep her safe and happy.

I heard the quiet knock on my door and scanned the thought of my family wondering which might be outside my room. But as I found them all engrossed in each other I realized that there was only one other person that might be there and it was the person that I wanted most.

"Edward" She peaked her heard around the door not really opening it. "Are you busy?"

"No" I stood not really knowing what to do. "Would you like to come in?"

She nodded timidly and I didn't need Jasper to tell me she was nervous. I hated that. The last thing I had ever wanted was for me to make her nervous. Even when she was human she had seemed calm around me and I couldn't stand the change now.

"I can't sleep." She spoke quietly.

"We don't sleep Bella." I had told her that long ago so I didn't know why she had tried.

"I know Edward." She smiled up at me. "It was a joke. You know something to break the ice."

I laughed lightly. She was doing better at this than me but she always had been better than me whether she knew it or not.

"Sorry" I shrugged. "I guess it's been a long day."

"Yeah" She said solemnly walking toward the wall that was used to house all of my cds. "What did Carlisle say to you before he left tonight?"

I should have known she wouldn't miss that. She was always so observant. I was torn between trying to protect her and telling her the truth. She had a right to know but I didn't want her worrying. In the end it came down to the trust that I had wanted from her. If I was going to have any chance of winning her back I had to give her everything that I wanted in return.

"He wanted me to know that he was going to call Alaska and find out why Laurent wasn't still with them and" this was the part I wanted to hide.

"And…." She prompted.

"He was going to try to set up a meeting with the werewolves or at least the Quileute elders and find out if the wolves are back and if the treaty is still in effect."

"I see." She continued to run her finger across the now empty shelves but not commenting on anything that I had just said.

"He wants me to be there so that I can read their minds and see if any of them are lying or at the very least withholding information." I added not able to stop myself.

Again she said nothing and for the millionth time I wished that I could see into her mind. She had processed so much today and the last thing I wanted was to overwhelm her with more information. I didn't want her to worry but I didn't know how to protect her like this, as a vampire.

"Will you tell me what you're thinking?"

"Right now" a small smile played across her face. "Right now I'm thinking that your family is very amorous and I'm wondering how I missed it before."

I smiled back setting back on the black leather couch. "You were always at home during the night and I tried my best to be with you as much as possible."

"So that was the real reason you came over to often. To get away from them?" Her face turned serious. "It had nothing to do with my sleep talking or me at all, did it?"

"Absolutely it was about you." I had done it again. Why couldn't I keep my foot out of my mouth? "I wanted to be…"

"Another joke Edward." She cut me off smiling once more. "You really need to lighten up."

I closed my eyes. This wasn't going well at all. "I know but it has been a hard few months."

"I know" and with that she turned back to my empty wall not allowing me to see her face.

I wanted to apologize again but I wasn't sure if that would help or hurt the situation. If I knew it would help I would spend eternity saying I'm sorry over and over. If it would put us back on track I would follow ever sun rise with as many words as I could speak to let her know how important she is to me and how stupid I was to leave her. But instead I waited and watched as she seemed to build herself up for something. I only hoped that it wasn't my heartbreak.

"I remember the first time I came here." That wasn't what I had been expecting.

"So do I" I closed my eyes and pictured her glowing in blue as she walked around this room. "You were beautiful."

"I was nervous." I saw her still brown eyes sparkle.

"If I remember correctly it was because you were scared that my family wouldn't like you."

"Partly" Had there been another reason? "I was most nervous because it was you." I just stared at her willing her to continue.

"I knew that I loved you and I wanted to be with you, just you." She went on still looking at the wall. "I knew that you had this family but it didn't register to me until that day that you asked me to come here that they would become part of my life also. I foolishly thought it would always be just us and no one else."

She turned to me then. "You always accused me of having the wrong reactions but I knew what I was doing when I walked through that door. I knew that there was every possibility that what happened with Jasper could have happened that day and part of me wanted it too." I couldn't speak. She had wanted us to attack her?

"You were trying so hard to keep me alive and safe and it seemed so silly that you would bring me into your family knowing what could happen. It was the first time I thought maybe you really wanted me for forever." She went on. "That part of you was also hoping something might happen. That you might have wanted the day to end with me on your side of the humanity line."

She walked over and set on the couch in front of me. "But then everything happened with James and you had your opportunity. You could have let me be with you completely but you stopped it and all my insecurities came rushing back. I thought of how I wasn't good enough for you. Let me finish." She paused as I shook my head at her ridiculous theory. "You were always trying to push me away. Even that first day here. When you told me how you were waiting for me to run away screaming and that you would let me go because you knew it was for the best. You were always trying to say goodbye to me. Even before everything with Jasper."

She was right but she thought it was because I didn't love her, that I didn't want her. She didn't see that I was trying to protect her. "Bella" I started but she stopped me with her finger to my lips.

"Please just listen. This is hard enough for me as it is." I nodded not wanting to take anything away from her. "Where was I, oh yes Jasper. I didn't blame him or you for that matter. I knew what I was getting myself into when I fell in love with you and I so wanted to be with you that way, as equals. Like Rose and Emmett or Alice and Jasper but you wouldn't hear it. You were so hell bent on keeping me human and protecting me that you never listened to me. That was the part that hurt the most. Not you telling me you didn't love me or leaving me but that you didn't hear me. It was like my wishes didn't matter to you; almost like I didn't matter to you."

"Which is what makes this so hard now." She put her hand on mine and squeezed. My eyes closed preparing for the pain to come. This would be it. My last time with her so close. "I love you Edward and I need you with me more than ever now. I want to trust that you won't leave me again but it is hard because you have been trying to leave me every since we met."

"That's not true" I argued even though I knew I was wrong.

"Really?" She questioned. "You didn't run off to Alaska the same day that we first met? You didn't push me away after the van accident because you were scared that I might get to close?" She was right and I knew it. "Edward, Jasper only gave you the excuse to do what you had been trying to do since that first biology class."

"Bella"

"No you need to listen to me now. I mean really listen." She placed her hand on both sides of face and forced my eyes into her chocolate depths. "If I let myself trust you, love you again, I need to know that you won't run. That no matter what happens you will stay with me because I can't lose you again. Right now I am in a new world and I need not only you but this whole family. I can't do this alone because you're scared. Well guess what, so am I and I need you with me."

"You have me." I pulled her to me. She was giving us a shot. "You have me. I could never leave you again. I was stupid to leave the first time and the second and any other time that I thought I could make it without you."

"If I could die it would kill me to know that you needed me and I hadn't been here for you." I told her. "That I had selfishly taken myself away from you." I kissed her lightly. "You are my world Bella and I couldn't make it through losing that again."

"Edward" I cut her off.

"Bella, I need you to understand. To know how much you mean to me." I pulled back from her so that I could look into her eyes hoping that I could convey everything that I was feeling. "Bella I was dying in that room. I couldn't move or hunt or anything. All I could do was think about you. It was like I could still feel you there. I could still smell you the same as right now. I would close my eyes and you were there. It was torture but of the sweetest kind."

"I wanted you to be happy but at the same time I wanted to run back and rip apart anyone that had even thought to be with you. You were, you are, mine and I didn't realize how opposed to sharing I was until I couldn't be with you. Until there was a possibility, even if I set it in motion, that someone else could have you." I smiled. "It was irrational I know but it was how I felt. All I could do was remember and fantasize about us. About holding you and kissing you, telling you that I loved you, and…." I couldn't tell her.

"And what Edward?"

I looked away. "And making love to you." I finished. "Every moment I wanted to run home and climb through your window and tell you that I lied. That I loved you and that I never wanted to be without you again. I wanted to join myself to you in a way that would let everyone know that you were mine and I was yours and that nothing could come between us."

"Edward" I wanted to tell her more but she pressed her warm body against my cold one and her lips found mine.

It wasn't a soft kiss but more a kiss of surrender, for both of us and it was sweeter than any candy. More potent than any wine. I pulled her closer so that she was sitting on my lap with her legs on either side of mine and I let my hand tangle in her hair as I reveled in the feel of her against me.

"I love you." She said as she pulled away to draw an unneeded breath. "I love you so much Edward. Don't ever leave me again."

"Never" I whispered softly against her lips. "Never" I kissed the base of her neck. "Never" I said into her hollow between her breasts as I continued to kiss down her beautiful body.

She was mine and I could no more pull my own arm off then leave her again. I picked her up never breaking my lips away from her body and carried her back to her temporary room, our temporary room. I wanted her in my room but I didn't have a bed and I wanted to feel her under me once more. I knew it was presumptuous but I didn't care. She was with me and I would do everything I could to keep her in my arms.

Bella's hands were in my hair and her legs wrapped smoothly around my hips as I placed her softly on the mattress my body touching every inch of hers. This was as it should be; as it should have always been. Just the two of us. No outside world, no worries, no barriers, nothing but the love that we both felt pulsing between our bodies. This was my Bella, my angel and I loved her with everything that I was.

"I love you Bella." I looked into her eyes wanting to drown in all the love that I saw there. "There are no words to express how much but I want to spend eternity showing you." I kissed her again not letting her speak. "You are mine now and forever and I am yours." I kissed her again needing her to feel my commitment to her; to us. "Forever."

After that there were no more words.

**AN: Okay I know that it might seem alittle fast to some of you. I mean it was only a day in normal time but it was like quite a few chapters and they had been through a lot for one day. Besides you knew she was going to forgive him and I couldn't keep them apart to much longer. This just seemed like the best time. Plus we have the wolves coming up and Victoria and who knows what else (oh yea I do). So I needed to get this out of the way. So let me know what you think. Just press the little green review button and put a smile on my face.**

**Don't make me blue; please review. If I could I would send you a happy dance :).**

**Ps. Did you like the previews? Would you like me to keep going with that? Let me know.**


	9. Chapter 8: BEGINNING

Just a little Labor Day Weekend Surprise!!! Have Fun!

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Beginning

**Edward POV**

My mother's ring. That was all I could think as I sat on my couch balancing the little black box on my knee. I hadn't looked at it in almost ninety years and I could tear my eyes away from it. Actually I had been staring at it every moment for the past week. At least ever moment that wasn't filled with Bella.

I had thought that she was my life before but it was so much more now. She was the center of my world. I had just left her a few minutes ago with Esme and still it hurt not feeling her next to me. How had I survived those months without her? I didn't know but I knew that I never wanted to go through that again.

Which is why I have been sitting and staring at my mother's ring. It was one of the few possession that I still had left of my human life. True I still had the house and the little trinkets that I had shared with Alice and Esme over the years but this was the one that had the most value. This had rested on my mother's hand from the day my father hand secured her hand to the day that she had joined him on the other side. This ring had bound them to each other through life and into death. This ring was the one my mother would have wanted my wife to have. This ring would someday belong to Bella.

Almost a hundred years, ninety as a vampire, and I never once thought of giving this ring away. Never entered my mind that someone would touch my heart in that way or that someone would be worthy enough to have my mother's ring until now. Because now there was Bella and she was everything. I didn't remember my mother very much but I knew that she would approve. I think it had to do with the calm that I felt when I imagined this ring on Bella's finger. It was almost like I could see my mother smiling down at us and giving us her blessing. If I had my way this ring would be on Bella's finger right now.

But I had promised her that she could set the pace of our relationship and I intended to make good on that promise, no matter how hard it was. I wanted her with a new kind of fire. I don't know if it was just the fact that she was immortal now and I knew that nothing could separate us again or if it was the fact that she was perfect in her new role. Either way I wanted all of her every minute of every day.

We had come so close to. Every night now I held her and kissed as much of her as she would allow. Yet we didn't make love. I knew that she wanted to and so did I for that matter, but she would always stop when she felt we had gone far enough. It was a strange turn of events considering that I was the one that always held us back before. Yet every night Bella would stop, smile up at me, and place her head on my shoulder closing her eyes just as before. If I didn't know any better I would swear that she was sleep. But she didn't talk and she didn't move. She would just lay there with the most peaceful smile on her face and it was perfect.

Yes I wanted to make love to her but I also respected her decision to wait. If she wasn't ready then neither was I. It also didn't help that as she would lay there I could almost see my mother's face and the look in her eyes was not one of pride but of disappointment. I had been raised to treasure a woman. To hold myself back from my baser needs until I had joined myself to her for life through marriage. Until I had declared myself hers and she mine in front of God and man. Yet every night as I touched Bella all of those ideas seemed to leave my head and my body took control and all I could think of was making Bella mine in the most base of ways. Of joining my body to hers over and over again.

Yes I wanted to stay true to the morals that I had been taught but when she pressed her warm body against mine and whispered her love in my ear all I could think was that she already own my heart, mind, and body why not add my soul to it too.

That was another thing Bella had chanced; my belief in my soul. I still wasn't sure if it really existed anymore or not but when she looked at me with those brown eyes and smiled I could feel it. I could feel myself giving it to her. That she possessed all of me whether it was my heart that stopped over ninety years ago or my soul that I had lost along with my humanity. She resurrected it all and held it in the palm of her hand. So wasn't it only right that she also held my mother's ring?

What would she say if I asked her? Would she think it was too soon? Maybe she has been waiting for me to declare myself in just such a manner. Maybe that was why she held part of herself back from me every night. Or maybe she still wasn't sure she trusted me. That was why I couldn't ask her yet. I didn't want to push her into something she wasn't ready for.

But I couldn't help but wonder, as I closed the box and placed it back in my closet, if this was what would help her trust me more. Knowing that I cherished her and wanted her by my side as my wife for all eternity. It was inconceivable to me that Bella might still doubt my love and devotion to her but I had left and I had to face the consequences of that choice. So I would wait until I was sure. This was my Bella and for her, for us, I would wait forever.

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**Bella POV**

If you forget about the fact that a crazy, vengeful vampire was after me and my new family this has been the best week of my life.

I had learned over the past week that there was nothing the Cullens could do. They had somehow gotten all of their things moved back to Forks without anyone suspecting that they were back, they had taken me out of Forks high without Charlie's knowledge and enrolled me in a home schooling program so that I would be done with high school in less time than I would have been if I was still going to class, Alice had completely re-done the guest bedroom that Edward and I now shared to reflect what she deemed as "my new taste", and they had protected Charlie without anyone seeing any of them or Charlie suspecting anything more than he already had. All and all they were amazing.

It was weird being part of the inter-circle now. I realized just how many family meetings I had missed just by sleeping. But now I was included in all things and my opinion was not only listened to but wanted. They asked questions of me and took my advice into account. At least with concern to the werewolves. When it came to Victoria that was another thing all together.

Everyone seemed agreed that I should stay as far away from Victoria as possible. I wanted to help but they wouldn't hear it. Every time I would mention joining the search for her Edward would stiffen beside me and ground his teeth to powder. Jasper and Alice would kindly point out that even though I seemed to be showing more control than most newborns I was still young and wouldn't be able to hold my own if a fight broke out. I had asked Jasper to teach me how to fight but Edward had given him a look and he promised that he would after everything was all settled. I had tried to point out that there wouldn't be much point then but Jasper had just smiled and sent a wave of calm toward me and my body and relaxed almost into another coma.

I had cornered Emmett and asked the same question later and his response hadn't been any better. Although he agreed that I should learn some basic moves, and that he was dying to test out my strength to see if I was stronger than him or not, he understood where Edward and Jasper were coming from. The best I got out of him was a few wrestling matches that didn't last that long and I had easily won thanks to my newborn strength and Emmett's frustration with said strength. He probably would have continued but Edward, Jasper and Carlisle found out and somehow Emmett became busy whenever I wanted to wrestle.

I knew that everyone was just trying to protect me but what if they were all out looking for her when she showed up? Or worse, what if she hurt someone and in the panic was able to get pass them? True it was seven of them and right now it was one of her plus who ever she had with her, but still.

That was the other frustrating thing. Carlisle had called Alaska and talked to the Denali's and they didn't think that Laurent was with Victoria considering that he and Irina had gotten quite close during his time there but they also couldn't be sure. It seemed that Laurent had left rather abruptly to help an old friend and hadn't returned yet. However, Tanya had assured Carlisle that Laurent had seemed to be committed to their way of life and she didn't think he would be involved. As assurances went I was not impressed.

I wanted to do something. To feel useful but everyone was so busy protecting me that the only thing I could do was call Charlie everyday to make sure that he was alright and to tell him not to worry. I still didn't trust myself enough to see him and I never stayed on the phone long enough for him to ask any important questions but at least I knew he was safe and he could hear my voice.

At first he had threaten to call the FBI but I told him that I was eighteen and legally able to live on my own and if he did that I would never come back. That seemed to stop him in his tracks and he hasn't mentioned it again, but I know that he is getting anxious and so am I for that matter. I want to see him but at the same time maybe Rosalie had been right.

Eventually I am going to end up leaving. Once everything is finished with Victoria the Cullens will be moving on to another city and another state and thanks to my transformation then I will be with them. Yet here I was getting Charlie's hopes up that someday I would be coming back home to stay. Even if I gained enough control and didn't want to be part of the Cullens I would still have to leave at some point. Wasn't I just delaying the inevitable pain that Charlie would have to feel?

"What are you think?" I felt Edward's arms wrap around me as he pulled my back closer to his body.

"Nothing of consequence." I didn't want to share all my thoughts with him just yet. We had experienced a perfect week and the last thing I wanted was my worry to cause that perfection to fade.

"You looked awful serious." He pressed spinning me around to face him. "You know you can talk to me about anything. No matter what."

"I know" I smiled lightly up at him. He really has done such a good job of proving that I could trust his love for me again. "I'm just not ready yet. Is that okay?"

"Yes" I knew he wanted to know but he didn't push. "Just know that I am here when you are."

"I do" I leaned into his comforting arms and let all my worries melt away.

"Let's go somewhere." Edward said quickly pulling me toward the back door.

"Is it safe?"

"Trust me."

"Always" and with that I let him lead me away from my troubles and into his love.

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**Jacob POV**

I hated this. I hated my life now. It had been a three weeks and sure enough it had been the worst I had ever experienced. Stupid tribal legends.

Not one day after Bella left I had turned into a werewolf for the first time. It was an average day. I had gone to school, nothing interesting, came home and was watching cartoon network when my father came in and mentioned that I might be too old for that. Before I knew it I was attacking him. It was a good thing he knew what to expect or he might be dead now.

It had taken almost twelve hours to calm me back down so that I was myself again and by that time dad had called Harry Clearwater, and the pack. Sam, Jared, Paul, and Embry had already gone through the change and Harry being an elder of the tribe had known it was coming. They had all known it was coming, even my dad, but none of them had said anything. Stupid traditions.

Sure I had noticed differences in myself and I had heard whispered conversations and I had my suspicions but it was different to think something might happen and then to live it. I hated it. There was nothing for me now. Just an extremely long life of learning to control my anger and running patrols around the woods.

I will admit the running was fun. Kind of like the only release I got these days. Dad was watching me like a hawk and Sam had all these rules that I had to learn. It was really annoying. Not to mention that Bella wasn't back yet and I really needed my friend. Not that I was going to be allowed to see her once she did get back. That was one of the new rules that I had to follow. But I didn't care. I was going to see her as soon as she got back. Sam could kiss my butt. He didn't understand Bella and my relationship. I knew I wouldn't hurt her.

Besides I had to make sure she was okay. She had been with that bloodsucker for too long and the way they had lied to Charlie did not sit well with me. They had told him originally that she was sick and in the hospital but then her mom had flown to California and they couldn't find her anywhere. Then last week the call had come. Bella saying not to worry. Like that would stop us. I liked Charlie's plan of calling in the FBI but he had told dad that she had flipped out when he mentioned it and threaten to never come back again. I didn't care. I think he still should have called them and I just would have spent my time tracking her down. I mean it wasn't like I didn't have an extreme amount of time now. Stupid tribal legends.

But Charlie had backed down. He was worried but he has still chief of police and with the "bear" sighting recently then he had other things on his mind. Yea right, bears. If the bloodsuckers would just go away then we wouldn't have to be out here. If they had never come back then we wouldn't even be wolves. Stupid traditions. But until we caught them all then we would be running patrols and circling the wagons, or town, protecting everyone we could.

There were those few that we couldn't protect. Like that hiker and the woman on the bike that got too close to the woods. I hated that part even more. The being one minute too late. True we did get that dark-haired leech but his red-headed mate got away. She was the one causing so many problems. It was like she was testing our defenses. Trying to find away into town. But what could she want? We had killed her mate and from all the stories that we knew it would seem that she should be coming after us to avenge him but she wasn't. It was like she didn't care. Which was so frustrating.

If she would just show herself already then we could deal with her and hopefully be done. The Cullens were gone and unless Bella could somehow talk them into coming back I doubted we would see them again especially once they found out the wolves were back. So that would be it. Life could go back to normal. I could go back to being just Jake.

Hopefully Bella would be home soon and I could talk to her and explain all that has happened since she has been gone and we could hang out more just like I had planned before she left. I could win her heart now that the filthy leech was gone and we could be together forever. As long as none of the other legends were true. Stupid tribal legends. God I hate this.

I had decided to go home when I smelt it. Not twenty yards away. Not just one bloodsucker but two. Could the red-headed leech have found a new mate that fast? All the stories that we knew said that once they mated it was for life or whatever it was that they had, eternity even. I stood paralyzed for a second trying to decide the best course of action. Should I try to contact the others or should I rush and take them myself?

Maybe I could just do some re-con and report back so that Sam would know if we had new leeches in the area. I could be quiet and they wouldn't even know I was there. That decided I took off in the direction of the hideous smell. I was barely two feet away when I heard it.

"What's wrong" A melodic female voice sounded.

"We have company" A hard male voice answered back.

"Victoria?" She asked. Who was Victoria and why did she sound so scared at the name?

"No, nothing that easily handled." He sounded resigned. Did he know the fate that awaited him and his bloodsucking mate? "If I ask you to do something for me would you do it without any questions?"

"Depends" I had to smirk; she was quick.

"Run" He told her. "Run back to the house and don't look back. Would you do that for me Bella?" I couldn't breathe. Did he just say Bella? Not my Bella?

I heard a growl then and I knew that I should wait for the pack but I had to see for myself. I had to know if Bella was one of them. I needed to know if I had lost her before I even had a chance. I burst through to the meadow that they were in and saw it with my own eyes. She was there with that leech Cullen crouched down in front of her as if I would hurt her. As if I could hurt her.

I didn't know what to say. She looked the same but the smell. She had to be one of them yet I could see her eyes were still brown and she still had a faint blush to her cheeks. I listened harder and could swear I heard a faint heartbeat. I noticed the bloodsuckers eyes pop wider at that moment but I didn't understand why and truthfully I didn't care. He had my Bella and whether he had turned her or not I was getting her away from him.

I closed my eyes and concentrated all my strength on pulling myself back together. Slowly I felt the animal retreating back. My arms felt as though they were pulling out from my chest and my legs wobbled into position. As soon as I was sure that I was me again I stood facing them head on.

"Bella?"

**AN: HAPPY LABOR DAY!! I hope that you were able to keep up with this. I know it was a lot of different POV's but I thought for the story that this was the best way to show where everyone was and to drive the story just a little bit more. Plus what better way to introduce Jacob back into the story and with that the wolves. So have a great Labor Day weekend and I can't wait to hear what you all think.**

**Don't make me blue; come on an' review :).**


	10. Chapter 9: REVAMPED

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Revamped

**Bella POV**

"Where are we going anyway?" I couldn't help to ask as we ran through the forest.

"Some place special." He smiled over at me squeezing my hand just a little tighter.

I loved Edward when he was in this mood; all young and carefree. Not worrying or trying to over analyze anything. Just happy. It was contagious and I couldn't help but smile right along with him. Sure there were a number of swords hanging over our heads, but we were finally together and I wasn't going to let anything get in the way of that.

"You aren't going to tell me are you?" I was surprised how easily running and talking came to me now when just weeks ago walking had been a chore.

"You like surprises, right?" I could see the smirk on his handsome face. He knew I hated surprised but I wouldn't ruin his fun.

"Only from you."

"I like that answer." His smile widen into the most beautiful expression I had ever seen. This was why I loved him. How could you look at that face and feel anything but love?

Before I knew it we were in the meadow. I hadn't been here since Edward had left. It had seemed too painful a memory to resurrect but being back here now with him by my side, as vampires and equals, it felt more right than even the first time we were here.

"You could have just said the meadow." I told him finding a spot to lower my body to.

"Where would the fun have been in that?"

"I would have known." I smiled and he lowered himself next to me pulling me onto his lap.

"Yeah that doesn't sound like fun for me." He leaned his head closer to my shoulder.

"What does sound like fun for you?" I breathlessly asked.

"This" And before I could say anything his lips found mine and began to move slowly back and forth pulling my body closer to his.

I leaned in trying to get as close to him as possible. There was nothing I enjoyed as much as kissing Edward. Just the feel of his body against mine sent tingles straight through to my toes. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself so that I was straddling his lower body. His answering moan told me that he must have liked the direction of my thoughts.

He lowered himself so that he was lying on his back and I was laying a top him. Every part of my body was touching his and I so wanted to give in. To just go with the feel of our bodies and our heart and give myself to him completely but I couldn't.

Yes I trusted him but we weren't back to where we had been. Where the thought of being with him, making love with him, would have felt perfect. I knew he wanted me just as much as I wanted him but I couldn't, not yet.

I slowly pulled away and laid down next to him. I could see the question in his eyes and I wanted to answer but I needed a minute to figure out the best way to tell him.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Leave it to Edward to assume it was his fault when the blame clearly was with me. "Of course not."

"This why did you stop?" He rolled so that we were both on our sides facing each other. "Bella you can trust me. I won't hurt you ever again."

"I know." I looked up into his honey colored eyes and almost gave in. I wanted him so bad and things had been great this last week but I just couldn't let one week make up for months of hurt and abandonment.

"Edward, I love you, you know that."

"I love you" He smiled his crooked smile at me and my now dead heart skipped.

"But I'm not ready yet." I saw his eyes fall. "It's not that I don't trust you." I quickly added lifting his face and eyes back to mine. "It's just that…it's only been a week that you have been back and I need time to adjust."

"I understand that and I don't want to rush you into anything."

"I know but it sometimes seems too much." I closed my eyes.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"Well, first you were gone and I was trying to reconcile myself to the fact that I wasn't good enough for you and that you weren't coming back." I pressed my finger to his lips when I saw him about to interrupt. "Then I'm in Brazil and a coma and now a vampire. And there's still Laurent and Victoria and Charlie and the wolves. It's just a lot to take in all at once."

"How can I help?" He wrapped himself around me. "Just name it. Whatever you need I will do it."

"I just need to figure it out for me." I told him. "And maybe…."

"Yes?"

"Could you teach me how to fight?" I saw his jaw clinch. "Or at least let Jasper or Emmett do it."

"Bella" He started. "There's no need. I will take care of all of this and I will protect you."

"Edward it's not about that." I didn't know how to make him understand. I needed to be able to help. To do something other than make phone calls.

"What happens if you're not there?" I started. "Or you get hurt? I need to know how to take care of Victoria myself."

"Bella"

"Edward, I know that it is in your nature to protect me, and I love you for it. But can you accept that it might be in my nature to protect you too."

He smirked at that. "Do you see me needing a lot of protection?"

I couldn't help but tease him. "Who knows? One day you might actually piss off Emmett and someone might have to jump in."

He really laughed at that one. "He has yet to best me in any wrestling match, Love, I doubt he could take me in a straight out fight."

"Still" I pulled myself back on top of him. Pinning him to the forest floor. "Think of how exciting it could be to wrestle with me instead of Emmett or Jasper for that matter."

"You do raise an excellent point."

I moved my lower body against his. "Is that what I feel? An excellent point?"

He smiled up at me. "There is definitely a point in there somewhere."

I had to laugh at that one. He reached his face up toward me preparing to kiss me but I pulled away. "Edward I'm serious. I need to learn."

"No you don't" He protested dropping his head back down. "I told you that I will protect you."

"I don't want you to protect me." I practically yelled. "I want, no I need, to be able to protect myself."

"Bella, love…"

"No Edward you asked what I needed to adjust and this is it." I interrupted him. "I need you to treat me like an equal. Not just romantically but in all things." I told him. "If this is going to work then you can't keep thinking of me as this fragile little human you have to save every day of the week."

"I don't." But I could see in his eyes that even he didn't believe that.

"Yes you do." I kept going. "And I understand why. Between the truck almost accident and Port Angeles and James I was practically a walking disaster last year. But that was then. Now I'm just as indestructible as you even if I still feel all warm and my eyes are the same."

"Bella I just" I had never heard him at a loss for words before. "I just don't want you hurt."

"Then show me how to protect myself or let one of your brothers do it." I was winning and I knew it. "Edward protect my heart not my body. I know it's not still beating but it's a lot more fragile and it's been hurt to many times already."

He closed his eyes. He was thinking of his leaving and even though I hated to bring that up I needed him to understand and accept the new me. "Fine" He caved not opening his eyes. "I'll talk to Jasper when we get back. Given the circumstances I think he would be the best to train you."

"Thank you" I leaned down to kiss him bouncing happily against him not even thinking of what it might do to him. That is until I felt his arms wrap tight around me and his body spring to life. I pulled away reluctantly and was about to put some distance between us when Edward's arms stopped me.

"You're welcome, but Bella" He looked me deeply in the eye. "I plan to protect both your heart and your body." His crooked smile was back. "I have only recently realized how important **both** are to my survival and I wouldn't want anything to happen to either."

"Well I guess that would be acceptable." I teased. "As long as you come up with some creative ways to guard them and lots of time to do it."

"Absolutely." He pulled my face down to his. "I think we should start with the body right now. Just so you feel safe." And with that his lips found mine once again.

I was happy to surrender to him. At this point I would have surrendered all of myself to him but I felt him stiffen and pull away. His eyes darting behind us.

"What's wrong?" I could only pray that it wasn't something we both couldn't handle.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Edward POV**

"What's wrong" Bella noticed me stiffen under her. This was so not what was needed right now. I had brought her here to let go and just be together. I knew that she was stressed about Charlie and Victoria and I just wanted her to be able to forget for a short while. Now it seemed like my wonderful plan had backfired and at least one of her concerns was about to be placed front and center.

"We have company" I tried to keep the edge out of my voice but I really didn't like the fact that Bella and I were being disturbed. Not to mention the sound of this child's thoughts.

"Victoria?" Her voice had a note of fear in it and I quickly wrapped my arms around her even tighter. I didn't want her to worry.

"No, nothing that easily handled." What I wouldn't give to have her that close. To put an end to this once and for all; to destroy her myself for even thinking of hurting Bella. But that wasn't going to happen today. Today was bringing its own different set of problems.

_He sounds resigned._ _Did he know the fate that awaited him and his bloodsucking mate? _His thoughts reached me and I almost laughed. Like I would let anyone hurt Bella. He would have to tear me apart to even get close enough to touch a hair on her beautiful head.

I knew what I needed Bella to do but I also knew Bella and getting her to do it would be about the same as getting the river to change course. "If I ask you to do something for me would you do it without any questions?"

"Depends" Of course she wouldn't make this easy.

"Run" I told her. "Run back to the house and don't look back. Would you do that for me Bella?" Our visitor suddenly stopped.

_Did he just say Bella? Not my Bella?_ I did not like the possessive tone of his thoughts. What did he mean his Bella? She was mine. Not just now but forever. No one had any claim on her.

I let out a growl without thinking. This was not going to go as well as I had originally hoped. At least not if this dog thought he had some right to Bella. No he would find that he was sadly mistaken. I would not be sharing today or any other day.

_I have to see this for myself. I have to know if Bella is one of them. Have I lost her before I even had a chance?_ Yes my mind screamed.

I saw him bust through the trees lining the meadow and without thought I pulled Bella behind me and crouched down in front of her. If it was a fight these wolves wanted it was a fight they would get but there was no way that he was hurting Bella. And there was no way that she would ever be his.

_She looks the same but the smell. She has to be one of them yet her eyes are still brown and there is a faint blush on her cheeks._ I saw him inch closer a look of concentration on his animal face. _She still has a heartbeat._

What? I knew my eyes were giving away my shock but I couldn't help it. Now I was concentrating. I couldn't hear any heartbeat but the one right in front of me. He must be mistaken but Bella was different. Maybe this was somehow her power. The eyes, the blush, now the heartbeat. Maybe she could still appear human to other humans or half humans as the case maybe. Was that possible? Carlisle will want to examine this further. Yet at that moment my thought where pulled back to this dog and his insipid ideas that Bella somehow belonged to him.

_He has my Bella and whether he has turned her or not I have to get her away from him._ Good luck, I thought. I would die before I would let anyone take Bella away from me. I had left her more times than I should have and almost lost her for good once; there was no way I was living without her ever again.

_Edward, I don't know if you can hear me yet but Emmett, Jasper, Rose, and I are on our way._ I heard Alice from further out and relaxed just a little. They were still too far to help right away but if this wolf had brothers or had called any of them then Bella and I were going to need their help. _I don't know what happened but you and Bella disappeared again. I am only assuming that the wolves are involved and I will tell you right now that I don't like this. Of all the ridiculous and annoying things to have happen. How is it…"_

I blocked out the rest of her rant. I loved Alice but she could get quite wordy when she was upset. Besides I had more to concern myself with at the moment. Like the fact that this dog had decided to change right here with no regard for the fact that Bella was behind me or that he was now naked.

"Bella?" He looked right at her completely ignoring me.

"Jake?" So this was the one that had been in her room. I should have recognized him from last year but I have to admit that he had changed quite a lot. He was taller and definitely more muscular. His hair was cropped off at the neck and he had lost some of his boyish looks. If I didn't know better I would swear he had aged five years or more since I had seen him last. Not that I cared. Right now the only thing I cared about was the way he was looking at MY Bella.

"What are you doing here Bella? He reached down and pulled on pants noticing for the first time that Bella had buried her head in my shoulder.

"Jake, you can't tell anyone you saw me." Bella started to move away from me but my arm snaked out and drew her back to my side. Sure she was a vampire now but he was a werewolf now too and she didn't understand how dangerous they could be.

"But you are supposed to be in California." _I bet he drug her back here and is keeping her hostage or something. Maybe she didn't even go to California. What if they have been here all this time? First the short one, then the black-haired one, and the redhead and now this. Did they ever really leave?_

"You've seen Laurent and Victoria?" I could help but ask.

"Who?" He didn't even look my way but I could hear the hate in his voice.

"The black-haired and redheaded vampire." I didn't have time to play nice here. If he knew where they were I needed to know too.

"How did you know that?" His eyes finally snapped to mine.

"It doesn't matter right now." I needed to get him to focus. "Where are they?"

_Are they part of his coven too? I wonder if it will start a war when they find out we killed the black-haired one. O well at least if I can get Bella away then she will be safe._ "I say it does matter." He was trying to appear braver than he was. I would have been impressed if it wasn't for his annoying thoughts toward the love of my existence.

"Did you really kill the black-haired one? Laurent?" I heard both Jake and Bella's intake of breath but at this moment I had to know if his thoughts were true.

_They were part of his coven, well that is just great._ I heard him think right before his mind was flooded with images of five werewolves himself included attacking a stunned and disoriented Laurent. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least they had taken care of one of them now only Victoria remained and I would handle her.

"Thank you." I said before I knew the words had left my mouth.

"Excuse me?" He looked utterly shocked as he rocked back on his feet.

"We have been tracking them. Trying to destroy them before they could cause anyone harm." I looked back at Bella. "You have helped and I thank you for that. We will handle the other one. You don't need to be involved."

"The hell we don't" _Who does he think he is?_ "This is our job and we will destroy her too just as soon as we find her." He stepped closer to me. "Not to mention any other bloodsuckers who dare to feed here or break any treaties." His eyes glanced to Bella.

A snarl escaped my lips and my body automatically pulled into a crouch of defense. He wouldn't touch her. Not now, not ever. "You stay away from her."

Jacob was shaking now and I knew it wouldn't be long before the wolf was standing where the boy had been. "I could never hurt her unlike you. You did this to her."

"Jake stop"

It happened too fast. Bella lunged away from me determined to reach him. His body exploded preparing to defend himself. My arms were so close but missed her just as my family and Jacob's broke through to our hidden paradise in time to see Jacob collided with my angel.

**AN: Okay first I have to apologize that I haven't gotten to respond to all of your reviews. Especially you Dana Rose. Girl I was on the floor laughing at that one. It is just that with the holiday it put me behind schedule. I am normally like two to three chapters ahead of the game but not this time. This time I was fighting to get these done. So please forgive me and look forward to replies tomorrow.**

**Second, I have noticed that although everyone said they liked the preview my reviews went down when I started sending them. I don't know why that is but I am going to wait and see what comes today and then I will decide if I will be continuing that. So if you like the previews then review. It will make me happy and a happy writer is a writer that post more :).**

**So don't make me blue; please review.**


	11. Chapter 10: ADVERSITY

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Adversity

**Bella POV**

There was no thought at all. Nothing went through my mind. It was nothing but pure instinct. I saw Jake shaking and the look in his eyes as he stared at Edward was complete hatred and anger. I didn't know if he was going to attack him or not but I couldn't take that chance. I wasn't sure what I could do but I knew Jake and if I could somehow calm him down or just talk to him that might be enough to stop him. But I knew that I couldn't let him hurt Edward.

I jumped without any idea what I might say and right before I reached Jacob he disappeared. I suddenly felt a boulder collide with my body and I went flying back against one of the trees that line the meadow. I had no clue what hit me but my body almost felt hurt. I looked down and saw a scratch across my stomach. What had happened? I thought I was now indestructible? That was when I heard the angry growls.

I looked up to see Jasper and Emmett holding Edward back from going after Jake who was also not where he had been. He was clear across on the other side of the meadow. How had he gotten there? He looked as if he might be sick any minute and my lost heart automatically went out to him.

"Bella are you okay?" He took a step towards me and Edward let out a growl that was ten times worst than any of the ones that I had heard when he was fighting with James.

"You don't get to ask that of her." Edward was shouting just to be heard over the snarls coming from the very large and very scary wolves that lined the other side of the meadow. "You don't get to ask her anything!"

"I didn't mean it." Jake's eyes were about to fill up with tears. "It was instinctual." He was talking to Edward but his eyes never left me or the scratch that was healing rather quickly.

"Like that makes a difference." Edward wouldn't stop struggling against his brothers. It was probably a good thing that Alice and Rosalie were standing in front of him to stop him from going after Jake. "You could have killed her."

"You already did that didn't you?" Jake raised his voice back to Edward still not taking his eyes off me. "Besides I could never hurt her."

"You just did!" I wasn't sure Emmett and Jasper were going to be able to hold him back much longer. I don't think I had ever seen Edward this angry before.

"Edward calm down." I looked at Jasper hoping that he could use his special powers to calm not only Edward but the whole situation. As I stood I felt Jaspers powers flow out around the whole meadow and the wolves looked like they might pass out. Even Jacob's eyes started to droop.

"Umm, Jazz you might have over done it a little." I smirked at him.

"Sorry" I felt the wave pull back some and everyone was just standing still staring at each other.

"I'm okay." I looked at Edward but I was speaking to everyone. There was no need for this to turn into a huge war although I had the distinct feeling that was where we were headed. I knew I should go straight to Edward but the look in Jacob's eyes pulled me toward him. Besides I had to do something to stop this from getting out of hand.

I started to walk toward him but stopped when I heard the snarls of the other wolves.

"Bella, no, what are you doing?" I could hear Edward behind me and looked back at Emmett and Jasper to make sure that they had him.

"It's okay." I spoke as calmly as I could for the first time grateful that my heart wasn't beating. If I had still been human I'm sure the sound of it would have been echoing around the meadow by now. "Jake won't hurt me." I looked right into Jacob's eyes seeing all I needed to know.

"Bella, I'm so sorry." I inched closer to him and he moved toward me.

"Hey, no harm done." I looked down to notice that my scratch was already healed. There was barely even a noticeable wound were the cuts to my shirt were.

"But I could have killed you."

"Not really."

"Yes really." Jacob's agonized voice ripped through me deeper than his claws even dared. "That's what I'm made for. Stupid tribal legends."

"Jake" I reached toward him and felt his head fall into my palm. "It's me. I know you couldn't hurt me. We're friends aren't we?" I purposely used the same words he had in my room not one month ago.

I could feel tears against my hand and I pulled him the rest of the way into my arms. We crashed together again but this time not in battle but in comfort. He had always been my friend and now wasn't any different.

"Yeah we're friends" His voice cracked. "We're always friends."

I looked back and saw that both Carlisle and Esme had managed to show up without my knowledge. I also noted the shocked faces on almost all the Cullens faces, Esme just looked like she wanted to cry right beside Jake. She was so caring.

"I hate to cut this short but we do still have a problem here." I was startled by the new voice and looked over to the wolves to realize that one of the others had morphed into a human man also. He looked familiar but I couldn't place him in my head. "You broke the treaty."

"Not intentionally" Alice spoke up looking him right in the eye. "And do you mind. There are ladies present." She motioned to his naked body and I felt a smile come across my face. Leave it to Alice to notice a lack of clothing.

"Sorry" The tall man grumbled and sprinted off into the woods.

"Where'd he go?" I asked Jake still holding him against me.

"To put on clothes." He pulled away from me and smiled a sad but understanding smile.

"He left his clothes in the woods?"

He laughed then and rolled his eyes. "Silly Bella. He had them tied around his leg."

"That doesn't make any sense." I shook my head.

"Our clothes don't just disappear and re-appear like our skin." He explained. "If we change while there on then they explode off of us."

"But a few minutes ago…" I let the statement run off as I looked down and saw a very naked Jake. "OH" Once again glad I wasn't human before I remembered that I could still blush and felt my cheeks turn a fiery red. Of all the things to not lose during the transformation.

"Yeah, sorry I only had the one pair." He smiled at my embarrassed expression right before a new pair of pants hit him across the chest. That was when I saw the other wolf man come back into the clearing. I didn't know if he had an extra pair of he had found someone else's but I was really grateful to him at that moment.

"Bella" Edward called to me raising his hand for me to come over to him. I wanted to but I felt that if I did it would only make matters worse. Right now Jake was fine with me but if I made it look like I was taking sides this could turn into something way more serious.

"I think I should stay here for right now." I had never seen that level of hurt in his eyes before and it made me want to rush over to his side even more. But I would have to explain later. Right now I needed to do whatever I could to keep everyone from ripping into each other.

"Can we get back to the problem at hand?" The other wolf guy said.

"What problem?" I asked knowing what he was about to say.

"The fact that they bit you." He looked me over with distaste. "They broke the treaty."

"But Sam, she is still warm and I can hear a heartbeat." Jacob told his wolf friend. Why did that name sound familiar too?

My eyes widen. I looked to the Cullens and saw that everyone but Edward mirrored my expression. How did I still have a heartbeat?

"Not to mention that her eyes are brown not red and she blushed earlier while you were gone." Jake had moved a little away from me.

"But you have to notice the smell Jake" Sam questioned him.

"Of course but maybe it just has to do with her hanging out with them." Jake was fighting for me and I could do nothing but smile up at him.

"Okay. Well how did she throw you across the field then?" His eyes narrowed toward me and I heard growls coming from Edward's direction.

Jake looked at me and the anguished expression came back across his face. I instinctually pulled him back into my arms and growled toward Sam.

"That was an accident." I snarled. How dare he hurt Jake like that? "And I don't appreciate you talking to him like that."

Not only did Sam snap his eyes at me but the rest of the wolves looked well not quite shocked seeing as they were animals but close to it. I chanced a look at the Cullens and they too looked shocked.

"Excuse me?" Sam voice betrayed his astonishment.

"Jake is not only a friend but he is like family to me and I will not let you say anything negative to him just for being my friend." I stared him right in the eye and narrowed my eyes. "And whatever happened between my boyfriend and I is really none of your business."

"If he bit you then it is my business." This Sam wouldn't let up.

"No, it's my business." Jake walked in front of me with a look of authority.

"I'm the oldest Jacob." Sam squared his shoulders.

"Yes, but I'm the Alpha." Jake looked him dead in the eyes.

"I thought you didn't want it."

"If it means saving my friend then I'll take the responsibility." Jake looked back at me.

"What about them?" Sam jerked his head toward the Cullens.

I could see the anger rising in Jacob's body and his hands began to shake. I put my hand on his shoulder and he calmed.

"I don't know yet." Jake looked right into Edward's eyes. I didn't know what he was thinking but Edward didn't look happy or angry about it, more along the lines of confused. "We need to discuss this further before we decide whether it is war or not. There will be no rash acts today."

I breathed in a deep breath and smiled. Jacob had come through for me. I couldn't express my relief. "Thank you" I mouthed for his ears only and saw a light smile on his face.

"For right now I would like to talk to Bella alone." Jake looked around. I saw Edward take a step toward me but Emmett hold him back.

"It's okay." I begged Edward with my eyes to understand. I needed to talk to Jake. I had to make sure Charlie was alright and that he wouldn't say anything. Plus I had to make him understand that this was my choice. I couldn't help but notice that Jake had said nothing would happen today but he had left it open for tomorrow or the future.

"Bella he's so young." Edward looked pained. "And he has already attacked you once."

"That was an accident bloodsucker." Jake focused back on Edward.

"Doesn't change the fact that it happened." Edward started struggling against Emmett again and Jasper had to calm him once more.

"Edward, it's okay." I smiled at him. "Equals remember?"

He closed his eyes and nodded his head. "But remember my part of that agreement too? I need both."

I loved him more in that moment than I ever had. Just knowing that he finally trusted me enough to let me do this without jumping in the middle spoke volumes. "You have both." I said as I turned toward Jacob and walked away from the crowd in the meadow.

We walked in silence, not once looking at each other, until we were a good distance away. I wasn't sure if Edward could still hear Jacob's thoughts but I hoped that he couldn't. This needed to be a private conversation and the last thing I wanted was to have to re-hash everything later tonight.

Jake sat on a boulder across from me just looking me up and down. Finally he took a deep breath and I could tell he was ready to speak.

"I gotta say Bells you look amazing but the smell."

"What are you talking about Jake?" I was so done with them talking about this ridiculous smell.

"You smell different." Jake continued. "You smell like one of them."

"And that is a bad thing?" I hadn't noticed that the Cullens smelled bad. If anything I thought they smelled wonderful.

"Yeah" He laughed. "It's like a sickenly sweet smell that stings my nose."

"Oh, sorry."

"I don't smell different to you?"

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes trying to focus on just his smell. "Maybe a little more woodsy. Like fir or pine but nothing that's bothersome."

"That's weird."

"Well, I do tend to have the cornered the market on weird." I smirked at him.

"That's true." He laughed again. "But I should smell awful to you."

I tried again. Closing my eyes and breathing deeper this time. "No just Jake."

He shook his head. "Bella what is going on? Are you one of them or not? Did that filthy bloodsucker bit you? And what are you doing here?"

"Easy Jake" I motioned to his hands that had begun to shake again and I saw him close his eyes and calm himself.

"Yes he bit me and I'm one of them but it was to save me."

"I don't understand." Jake dropped his head in his hands. "I knew you should have stayed here."

"I'm not sure that would have helped Jake." I moved to sit next to him on the boulder. "I was so far gone that it didn't take much to push me over the edge."

"What do you mean?" He looked up at me.

I wasn't sure how much I should tell him. I didn't think he would tell Charlie but I also knew that if he knew that Edward had left me again in Brazil of all places he might just authorize that war.

"When I was away things got really intense." That sounded good. "I went into some kind of coma, psychotic break from reality thing and couldn't move."

"What?"

"Yeah it was really awful." I hated thinking about the week that I had spent trapped in my head. "I couldn't talk or move or do anything. Jasper couldn't feel any of my emotions…"

"Wait" Jake interrupted me. "What do you mean they couldn't feel your emotions? One of them feels emotions?"

"Yeah Jasper does. He's the blonde younger one that was holding Edward back." I explained when I saw the confused look on his face. "You had to have noticed that one minute everyone was ready to kill each other and the next you felt calm. Almost lethargic."

"That's what that was." His eyes widened. "I thought I was just loosing it."

"No he has the power to not only feel emotions but manipulate them also."

"I don't like that." His eyes narrowed and his face turned back toward the meadow. "I don't like the idea that they have powers we didn't know about. Can they all do that? Do they have others that we don't know?"

I was torn between trust for my friend and loyalty to my family. I didn't think that Jake would use any of the information against them but I couldn't be sure.

"Do you want to know what happened to me or not?" I tried to change the subject back.

"Yeah but don't think I didn't notice you avoiding my questions" He looked back at me.

"Yeah, yeah." I used one of his classic lines. "Anyway, like I said I was stuck. I could hear everything around me and I could think and talk in my head but no one could see it or hear it or anything."

"That sucks"

"Yeah" I agreed. "Alice, the short one with the spiky hair, she was in a mental institution before she was changed and the only thing she remembers about her life is that everything was dark. No one really knows what treatments they did on her but they were trying to stop her from seeing the future. So Carlisle…."

"She can see the future?" Jake exclaimed and jumped up to stand in front of me.

"Dammit" I couldn't help my anger. I had been trying not to mention any of the other powers the Cullens had and had let that slip. "Sort of. She sees the paths that people are on based on the decisions they make."

"That sounds confusing." Jake sat back down.

"I guess it would be to us but she has lived with it for so long that it's second nature to her now." I shrugged. "Back to me" I wanted to get back to my story before he asked about any other powers. "Carlisle, the older blonde man, he hoped that if they changed me then I would be able to wake up. At first Edward was against it. He didn't want me to be like this." I motioned down to my body.

"He didn't want to turn you?" Jake's look of confusion was priceless.

"No" I smiled. "He sees himself as a monster and he didn't want that for me. He thought I could do better."

"Wow" he shook his head.

"What?"

"I never thought I would have anything in common with a leech is all."

I punched him in the arm. "Be nice." I said right as he said ow. "Sorry"

"It's okay. Your just a lot stronger than before." He was rubbing the spot that I had hit him.

"I know. It takes some getting used to." I went back to the story. "So Alice told someone to decide to bit me so that she could see if my future changed. Jasper agreed and Edward snarled but Alice could see me waking up. Whatever was the problem she saw it being fixed in the change so Edward bit me and I woke up."

"Your right"

"What do you mean?"

"You do have the market cornered on weird."

"Says the werewolf boy." I jokingly leaned into his side.

"That's true." I leaned against me back. "I guess we're both pretty good at weird."

"So it would seem." I smiled at him.

"Why are you still here then?" He asked. "Why not just tell Charlie you died or something and take off so no one could find you."

"They thought about it but I knew that that would do to Charlie." I told him. "I originally thought that if I could convince him that I was still sick or had run off to figure things out then maybe I could see him when I had gained enough control but then I called."

"He told us about that." He added.

"Yeah, I didn't know what I was going to go with but it didn't matter because he already knew I wasn't in the hospital."

"I know he called my dad to apologize for his outburst at dinner and said that maybe my dad had been right since no one knew where you were." Jake informed me.

"Really?" I couldn't believe it. Charlie wasn't an emotional man but he could be stubborn. That was most likely where I had gotten it from.

"Yeah"

"That's was really good of him." I smiled. "But when I called he mentioned a black and red-haired man and woman that showed up asking for me. He mentioned how they were extremely pale and I knew that Laurent and Victoria had been at my house."

"That would be the two bloodsuckers that have been causing trouble." He was serious now.

"Must you use such horrible names Jake?"

"Sorry" he drowned out sarcastically. "The two individuals that have been hunting in the woods and eating the hikers. Is that better?"

"No need to be mean about it." I huffed. "But yes that would be them."

"Why would they go to your house?"

"Because last year Edward killed Victoria's mate and she is looking for revenge." I explained.

"So the black-haired one wasn't her mate? That explains why she didn't come after us for revenge after we got him." Jake was catching on.

"Right"

"Why did Edward kill him?"

"Cause he was trying to torture and kill me?"

"Wow Bella" Jake shook his head. "You really are a magnet for dangerous and weird."

"I know, I know."

"So now she is after you or Edward and where does Charlie fit into all of this?" Jake was back in leader mode.

"Well, we stuck around to protect Charlie and to try to find and destroy Laurent and Victoria."

"I see" Jake just sat there staring out at nothing. I wanted to know what he was thinking but I was afraid to ask. I didn't know if what I had told him would start a war or if he could forgive the treaty break so I just sat there beside him waiting.

"Well" he started after a few minutes had passed. "I don't know what to do." He laughed a humorless sigh. "One one hand they did break the treaty but they did it to save you and they stuck around to protect the city but the city wouldn't have needed protecting if they hadn't killed this chicks mate." He took a breath. "But if they hadn't killed her mate then you might have been dead and this is just so much."

"Think what I have been going through living it." I told him.

"Part of me says war and the other part, the part that doesn't want to fight with you, says its okay." He looked so sad. "I hate them for this but I wouldn't have wanted to visit you in a crazy ward either."

"Thanks Jake" I punched him in his arm again this time making sure to use less force.

"We have to think." He stood. "We have to think and talk to the elders and then decide."

"Jake" I couldn't let it be a war. I would lose everything. "Please"

"I'm sorry Bella" He backed away from me. "This is just too big for me to say on my own." He moved away from me and I could see him start to shake. "I'll let you know. One way or the other." He shrugged and ran off into the distance.

I just sat there staring after my friend. This could go so bad or it could work it's self out. I had no way of knowing. I had done all that I could and it still might not have been enough. I sighed and stood preparing to head back to the meadow but as I turned I saw him. Edward was moving toward me at a blur. I would have missed him if my eyes weren't a thousand times better than. Before I could get a word out I was wrapped in his arms.

"Thank God." He breathed. "Thank God." He just kept repeating it over and over again as he pulled me tighter and tighter.

I rested in his arms still worried that this was far from over. I could lose him again. I could lose everyone. I couldn't let that happen. I had to stop things from getting out of hand. As Jake had said, one way or the other.

**AN: This had to be the hardest chapter I have done so far. First I couldn't decide on POV and then I had to re-write it like twice half way through because I didn't like the direction it was taking or leading the story.**

**I must say that I am happy about how it turned out and I can't wait to hear what everyone has to say. I will tell you this; if I didn't love double posting Thursdays as much as you this might not have gotten written. I was rushing the gun to get this done and just finished. So make me happy and review.**


	12. Chapter 11: DOUBTS

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Doubts

**Edward POV**

I hated this. I hated sitting here with my family and these smelly werewolves while Bella, my angel, the love of my existence was off with that mange filthy mutt who for some reason thought of her as his Bella. My family was trying to console me but I wouldn't be fine until I knew that Bella was fine. Until I had her back in my arms. Why had I let her go off with him?

I knew better. I was here last time and I know that young werewolves are dangerous. I mean he had already attacked her once and if she hadn't been changed he would have killed her. But even as a vampire he still posed a threat. It was encoded in him to kill vampires and now Bella was a vampire. He could do it simply because she says something he doesn't like. Like telling him that she doesn't belong to him for example. Unless…..

Did she think that he had some kind of claim to her? I know that she had said that they weren't dating but she had also defended him today. She had yelled at the other werewolf for talking to him in a way she didn't think he deserved. When I had called for her to come to me after his attack she had instead gone to him. Was there more going on here then she had said? Just how close had they gotten while I was gone? Did he have a part of her heart?

I know that I had left to protect her and had told her to move on and find someone else but deep down I hadn't meant it. I didn't like the idea of some other guy having any part of my Bella. The idea of him holding her or kissing her was enough to make me scream. She was mine now and always but it was clear that there was something between them. Friendship she had called it but I had read his mind and friendship was the last thing on it. He had thought there was a chance for more.

But if he was thinking that there was a chance for more didn't that mean that they weren't at that point yet. That he or she hadn't made a move past just being friends. Is it possible that Bella hadn't known that he was interested in her as more than a friend? She was so sweet and naïve. Maybe he hadn't pressed his suit with her yet and he didn't have a part of her heart yet.

Who was I kidding? She had gone off with him and trusted him without a second thought. Of course he was in her heart but how far. Did she love him? Could I handle it if she did?

I knew she loved me and now that she was a vampire there was nothing to stand in our way of being together forever but is that still what she wants? What if she was interested in this Jacob and then I turned her and now I've stolen that normal life she could have had. Does she resent me? Is that why she can't give herself to me completely? Because she is still harboring feelings for that mongrel. Could I share her if she did?

No. That I knew. I needed all of Bella as she had all of me. There had never been anyone else to touch my heart and it would be hers for all eternity. Not to mention that I had never in all my hundred years as both a mortal and immortal wanted to join my life with anyone besides Bella. I couldn't live with the knowledge that part of her wished that she could be with someone else other than me. It was selfish and I knew that I should just be glad that she had even accepted me back after everything I had done but it was still how I felt. I needed her to want me just as much as I wanted her.

The more I thought the more nervous I became. They had been gone longer than I would have thought and definitely longer than I liked but this wasn't my idea; it was Bella's. I had to trust her. I had to believe that she would come back to me safe and completely mine or I would crumble right here in front of my family and these dogs pride be damned. She was my life and if anything happened to her I couldn't, wouldn't, go on.

Just when I was almost at the end of my much frayed rope I heard the order from Jacob to head back to the reservation. Slowly the mutts got up and backed away from us thinking that they should have just attacked and not had to go through all of this talking. I would have said something but at that moment I really didn't care. All that mattered was getting to Bella.

"I'm going after her." I said as soon as the wolves were out of the meadow not looking at my family but heading in the direction that Bella had left in.

_We will be back at the house_, Carlisle called towards me.

_Do you want me to stay just in case they didn't really leave? _Emmett was always ready for a fight.

"No" I called back. "We will be okay" I knew they were headed back to La Push but I didn't have time to explain. I needed to make sure Bella was okay.

_She's fine Edward_, I heard Alice's voice speak up just as I got Jasper's, _calm down_. He didn't. He couldn't understand. Alice had never been in this situation nor had he ever had to doubt that her whole heart belonged to him. I on the other hand was hoping that I hadn't lost Bella in one conversation.

I ran as fast as I could until I saw her sitting on a boulder. She was fine but she looked so far away as she stared out into the forest. Was she looked for Jacob? Was she wanting him to come back to her? I stood there waiting. I wanted so bad to run to her but there was something so untouchable about her in this moment. Almost like she was miles away instead of a hair breathe. Almost like she wasn't mine.

She pulled herself up and turned and that was when she noticed me. Her eyes flashed to mine and I saw the love in them. I breathed out slowly not even realizing that I had been holding my breath and raced towards her pulling her into my arms and smothering myself with her scent.

"Thank God" I breathed. "Thank God" it was like I couldn't stop saying it. She was here and she was safe and she loved me. It was in her eyes. I pulled her as tight to my body as I could but it still wasn't tight enough. My arms reflectively tighten and I wondered if I would ever be able to get as close to her as I wanted.

I still wasn't sure if there was more to her feeling for Jacob but right now it didn't matter. She was with me and she loved me. We would talk later but for right now I just wanted to hold her. I needed to feel her body pressed up to mine. I had to breathe in as much of her as I could before I would feel satisfied.

"Edward" She broke the spell that had woven itself around us. I pulled back reluctantly. "We probably should head back to the others."

I didn't want to let her go but I knew she was right. There was so much to discuss and the longer I kept her out here the more danger we were in that the wolves would come back. I winced thinking that maybe she wanted a certain wolf to come back more than she wanted to go with me but quickly pushed it out of my head.

"What's wrong?" Obviously I didn't change my expression as fast as I had thought. "Are you hurt? Did they attack you while we were gone?" She looked so worried that I had to smile. She looked me up and down as she let her hands trail over my body apparently looking for any signs that something had happened to me. I wanted to laugh at the thought but my body responded a different way to her scrutiny.

"I'm fine." My voice came out like gravel and I roughly pulled her back to me and pressed my lips hard against hers.

All of my doubts and fears for her safety and my place in her heart flowed out of me in that moment. I couldn't hold any of myself back. This was my Bella and she would stay mine no matter what I had to do. I would change anything I had to just to keep her. I would make her happier than any mongrel ever could. And I would make sure that she loved only me, wanted only me, for as long as the earth spun.

I poured my heart and whatever part of my soul might be left into her. Not breaking apart. We didn't need breathe and I wasn't giving her a chance to draw it. I tangled my hands in her hair anchoring her face against mine not willing to let her go. I felt her start against me. I couldn't blame her. I had never been so aggressive with her. Never pushed the limits of our control until this moment. But as she melted into my arms and wrapped herself around me I sensed a victory that was beyond compare.

I lowered her to the ground not wanting to stop even though I knew that I couldn't take her for the first time out here in the middle of the woods. She was my heart, my life and she, no we, deserved our first time to be showered with love phrases and exotic flowers and most importantly a bed. A big wide comfortable bed where I could have her in every possible way. I knew this rationally but in this moment the rational side of my brain seemed to have disappeared.

All I could think was that I wanted her. I wasn't to rip ever piece of clothing off her body and drive myself so far into her that there would be no doubt about who she belonged to. There would be no way that anyone could try to claim her. That every part of her, mind, body, heart, and soul would be mine. All mine. It was a primitive urge brought on more from the primal side of me and I didn't care. If it bound her to me in every possible way I didn't care.

"Edward" Bella broke her mouth away from me panting. "We can't" I knew that she was right but I couldn't make myself stop. This was my Bella and I need everyone, including her, to know it.

"I can't" I looked into her eyes begging her to see the need deep inside them. I could see my reflection in her chocolate orbs and I looked possessed. My hair was sticking almost straight up, my lips looked swollen, and my eyes were black as pitch. I had never looked this disheveled in my existence but I couldn't pull away from her.

"I need you Bella." I knew I wasn't making any sense to her but I wanted her to understand in that way of hers. She seemed to always know what I needed or wanted even before I did and I needed now not to be an exception.

"Edward" She pulled my mouth back down to hers and my heart rejoiced. She understood and she needed me too.

My hands began to travel the length of her just feeling her tiny shivers as they went. I chuckled inside my head. All those times when she was human I just thought her shivers were because I was so cold now I knew different. It was because she wanted me too. I paused at the hem of her top and let my instincts take over. Slowly I slide my hand up to cup her breast. They felt velvet soft in the palm of my hand and as Bella let out a light purr I almost lost myself in need and want and desire.

I was five seconds from pulling the thing away and baring her for my eyes only when I heard it.

_Edward I don't want to think about what you two are doing but everyone is waiting for you two to talk about the wolves._ Alice's thoughts called out to me. I swear if I didn't love her so much I would have strangled her right then and there. _Can you hear me? I really don't want to have to get any closer. Some things you just don't want your eyes to see, ya know._

I pulled away from Bella and rolled over to lay beside her moaning at the lost of contact. I wasn't sure if we would be able to continue this later when sanity had returned to both of us but God help me I hoped so.

"Why did you stop?" Bella propped herself up on her elbows.

"Alice" I hissed.

"Alice?"

"She called out to me letting me know that the family was waiting for us."

"Oh" She set all the way up. "Well….that's a bummer."

I turned and looked into her eyes seeing amusement there. "I thought we were kinda having fun." She smiled down at me.

"You can say that again." I rubbed my hand along her back.

"So…."

"So…." I prompted her to finish.

"So…." She started again. "We can do that again, right?"

I breathed out. She still wanted to be with me. "As soon as possible."

"Good" She looked forward letting her eyes search the trees lining our location. "Edward?"

"Yeah"

"Do you think it will be war with the wolves because of me?" I could hear the catch in her voice.

"No Bella" I sat up and pulled her back into my arms.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely" I reassured her. "If there is a war it will be because of me not you."

She turned and pushed me back onto the ground sitting on top of me. "Must you always make it your fault?"

I was too shocked to say anything. "Edward you did what you had to do to help me. Your family stayed here because of me; because Victoria is trying to kill me. The wolves are angry because you bit me." She continued. "How is any of that your fault?"

"Because I killed James and that is why Victoria is after you." I told her. "Victoria wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that so our family would have been able to leave already. You wouldn't have needed to change if I hadn't left you and if I hadn't put you in some sort of coma then I wouldn't have bitten you and the wolves would have nothing to be angry about."

"Wow" she just stared down at me. "I never realized how narcissistic you are but damn." She shook her head.

"I'm not" I protested.

"Edward" She laughed a humorless laugh at me. "You just took everything that has happened in the last year and made it all about you. I would even bet against Alice that you were also thinking that if you hadn't talked to me or fell in love with me then none of this would have happened too."

I couldn't say anything because that was the exact thought that was running in my head.

"See you can't even deny it." She poked me in my chest. "Look Edward for the last time. I made the decision to be with you. I fell in love with you and I decided way before you changed me that I wanted to be a vampire. The only part you played in any of that was just being the loving, caring, passionate man that you are." She kissed me lightly. "Who wouldn't fall in love with that?"

"I also thought about killing you."

"I give up" She said standing up and heading back toward the meadow.

"Where are you going?" I jumped up behind her.

"Back to the family so that I don't have to deal with your stubbornness anymore." She turned on my then. "You might like blaming yourself for all the wrongs that have befallen me but I don't."

"I like to think of all the times you saved me." She smiled. "Like sure James went after me because I was with you at the baseball field but he would have killed me if you hadn't shown up. And yeah, you left and I slipped into a coma but I would still be locked in my own mind if you hadn't changed me."

"And Victoria?"

"Well," She pulled her eyebrows together thinking. "If I hadn't rushed off with Alice to get you then she probably would have tortured or killed me when she knocked on Charlie's door." She smiled happily. "See how you can turn all those things into positives."

She walked up to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. "And if you hadn't fallen in love with me then I would have spend the last year miserable and alone. But instead I got to spend it with a loving family, a best friend who I actually like spending time with even if it is shopping. Please don't tell her I said that. And a wonderful man that I couldn't and wouldn't and never want to think about again my life without." She rose up and kissed me tenderly. "Now that is the biggest positive I could ever think of."

"God, I love you" I could do nothing but hold her against me.

"I know" She breathed me in. "I love you too"

_Are you two ever coming?_ I was going to kill her. Even Jasper wouldn't be able to stop me_. I saw that Edward and it's was not very nice. I'll be at the house but hurry up._

"We better go." I pulled grudgingly away.

"Alice?"

"Alice"

She laughed quietly. "Let's go home."

**AN: Okay so I didn't want to post this at the top but I wanted to make sure that everyone noticed that I changed my rating to and "M". It is just a precaution because of this chapter and I probably don't need it but better safe than sorry :). I can't wait to see what you say so don't forget to review.**

**Don't make me blue; please review!**


	13. Chapter 12: FAMILY

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Family

**Bella POV**

"Way to go Bella" Emmett high fived me as soon as I walked in the door. This had to stop. Especially since once again Edward was growling behind me.

"Emmett there were no people anywhere near me this time?" I explained. "Is this about the wolves?"

"No" He laughed his big boisterous laugh. "It's because I heard that you were out de-flowering little Eddie here." He ruffled Edward's hair and almost lost an arm as Edward pushed him away.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me toward the living room. "Just between the two of us" He started not even pretending to lower his voice. "It's about time someone took that virginity away from him. I mean how long is a man supposed to wait? He'll be like a hundred in thirty this year."

"I will not" Edward pushed Emmett off of me and I couldn't help but laugh. It was incredible the way that Emmett could get under Edward's skin. It was like he always knew exactly what to say but I guess after almost ninety years together he would have learned which buttons to push.

"Relax Eddie" Emmett shook his head. "Boy you would think getting some after all these years would have mellowed you out."

Emmett jumped and ran laughing back into the living room just as Edward lunged at him and fell into the wall. "Not over Emmett" He called. "Not over at all"

"Bring it Eddie" Emmett announced as we walked in and saw everyone else sitting there trying to hide their laughs. "I'm not scared."

"You should be." Edward pulled me down onto the sofa next to us. "And don't call me Eddie."

"But it's so cute and fun." Emmett was always the one for jokes.

"All right" Carlisle put a stop to their bickering. "Can we get back to the topic at hand?"

"What to do about the wolves" Jasper stated still holding back a grin.

"Exactly" Carlisle looked right at me. "Bella, what happened when you talked to Jacob Black? Did he understand the situation?"

"Are they looking for a war?" Jasper added.

"Will we have to move?" Rosalie chimed in.

"He didn't upset you did he?" Esme was always the mom.

"Why can't I see them?" Alice looked so frustrated.

I sat there for a minute looking back and forth between Edward and Emmett until Emmett spoke up. "What'd I do?"

"Nothing" I told him. "But since everyone else had questions I thought I would wait for you two to jump in before I started."

"Oh" Emmett shook his head. "Did you hit him again?" He asked with a goofy smile on his face.

I just laughed. Leave it to Emmett to ask such a silly question. I looked at Edward and raised my eyebrows waiting.

"Mine will have to wait until later" I said leaning into my neck and lightly kissing me.

"Hey" Emmett interrupted. "Did you get enough already? Boy a little nooky and he just won't quit."

I looked up just in time to see Edward throw a pillow that bounced right off Emmett and hit Rosalie right smack dab in the face.

"Watch it" I looked irritated but turned and used the pillow to hit Emmett over the head.

"What was that for?"

"If you hadn't asked the question he wouldn't have thrown the pillow and I wouldn't have gotten hit." She explained. "It seemed fair that I would share my pain with you."

"Can all of you focus?" Carlisle was losing patience fast. "Bella" He directed the conversation back to me and all eyes turned toward me.

"Well I don't know how much I can tell you." I started. "Jake seemed to understand the situation and he didn't seem angry when he left but he did say that he needed to talk to the elders before any decisions could be made."

"Why can't I see them?" Alice pressed. "Are they blocking me somehow?"

"I don't know." I shrugged toward her. "I doubt that they are doing it though. Jake didn't even know that any of you had any extra powers. So I find it hard to see them coming up with a way to block something that they didn't even know existed."

"Do they know about all of our powers now?" Edward asked.

"Almost" I looked as regretful as I could manage. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell them but as I was explaining what happened I let Alice and Jasper's powers slip. But they still don't know that you can read their minds. Sorry."

"It's okay" He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to his side.

"So he was going to speak to the elders right away?" Carlisle asked.

"He didn't say." I finished. "When he ran off he just mentioned that he would let me know one way or the other." I looked down suddenly sadden again at the idea that Jake could hold the fate of my family in his hands.

"Well, I think we should leave." Jasper stated. "If we are gone by the time they decide then there is no reason to fight and no chance that one of us could get hurt." He looked pointedly at Alice.

"Jazz, I'll be fine." She laughed playfully. "You know they would have to catch me first to even thing about hurting me."

"You can't see them Alice." He pointed out.

"Oh yeah" The look of irritation was back. "That would make it harder. Stupid mutts."

I didn't mean to wince when she said it but I couldn't help it. I didn't like them talking about Jake that way. He was like family and had been there for me a few times after Edward left. The last thing I wanted was for him to get hurt. It would be like something happening to Charlie.

"But if we leave then what about Victoria and Charlie?" I questioned.

"And Laurent" Emmett added.

"No Laurent isn't a problem anymore." Edward informed them. "The wolves took care of him."

"Are you sure?" Carlisle focused on him.

"Yeah not only was the dog thinking about it when he first showed up but I asked him and he basically admitted it." Edward explained. The wince appeared again and my shoulders stiffened a little. Edward looked at me quizzically but said nothing. Why did they have to refer to them so derogatory? It was just as bad as Jacob and his "bloodsucker".

"Well that is a small relief." Carlisle sat back some.

"It still doesn't protect Charlie or stop Victoria." I couldn't let my father pay for my decisions.

"Is there any way that you could talk him into taking a vacation for a while until the dogs make themselves useful and kill her too." Rosalie asked.

"My dad take a vacation?" I laughed humorlessly. "The only time I know of where my dad has ever willing left the state is when he would go to Florida with me every year just to hang out. And that was only because I refused to come here. Trust me he isn't going anywhere."

"Maybe you could convince him to meet you somewhere?" Esme tried. "I know he has to be missing you."

"And what happens if she can't control herself?" Edward's arms tightened around me. "It would kill her if she hurt Charlie."

"Maybe we could all be there to protect them both." Emmett looked around. "Like Ed here could hold her hand and Jazz could keep the situation calm and Alice could see if anything was going to go wrong and I could sit on her if she loses it."

My eyes popped out of my head as I tried to imagine being able to handle Emmett sitting on me. He had to be the biggest and strongest person I knew and just the thought was enough to make me cough out loud.

"I don't like that plan" I said between coughs still trying to shake the image of being pinned up under Emmett from my mind.

"So then we stay here for the moment." Carlisle voiced. "Maybe I can speak to the elders myself and explain that these were extreme circumstances. Although I haven't had any luck reaching them in the past week."

"Maybe they will talk to you now that they know what you wish to talk about." Esme encouraged.

"Or they might set it up as a trap." Jasper's eyes narrowed. "Get as many of us to show up as possible and then ambush us before we can suspect anything."

"That would be part of the reason Edward would need to be there." Carlisle told him. "He would be able to read their minds and let us know if we were walking into a trap. Especially since they don't know about his gifts."

I hated this. My new family sitting here planning on how to avoid being attacked by my best friend. This was wrong somehow and completely my fault. If they hadn't stayed for me then none of this would be happening.

"You guys" I interrupted. "This isn't fair. You shouldn't be planning on risking your lives for me or Charlie. Why don't you go ahead and move and I can stay and watch over Charlie and deal with the wolves since it was my change that started this."

"No Bella" Edward was shaking his head. "I'm not leaving you here alone. Besides it's me their angry with. I'm the one that bit you."

"But it isn't fair" I pushed. "And I think I could talk them down better than any of you. They knew me human and Jake is such a dear friend. I think they would be more apt to listen to me alone then all of you."

"And what about Victoria?" He asked. "I know you aren't as fragile as you use to be but you wouldn't last in a fight against her. She had decades on you even with Jasper training you." He shook his head again. "No, either you come with us or we stay here."

"But I don't want anything to happen to your family" I couldn't let them get hurt for me. "You love them so much and they you. After everything you've done for me it wouldn't be right."

"Bella it's either together we leave or together we stay but I'm not letting go of you." Edward's hands were holding my face. "And they will be okay."

"Still" I looked away. "All of you shouldn't have to risk yourselves for me again."

"Oh my God. I can't take this anymore." Rosalie yelled and turned to face me. "Look I am only going to say this once so pay close attention. Every since the day that Edward realized that he loved you then you have been part of this family. Whether you knew how he felt or not, whether he was here or not, whether you were a vampire or not, whether you to are married or not. You are a Cullen just as I am even though my name is Hale. Even when I didn't like you and didn't want you around I understood that. So I don't see why you don't get it. Carlisle has said it repeatedly. We protect our family and you, whether you like it or not, are family and have always been. So please get it through your head already because you are really starting to grade my nerves with this 'you don't have to do it for me' crap. We would do it for Edward and we would do it for you. Get it, got it, good."

My mouth fell open. I couldn't have said anything if I had wanted to. Rosalie of all people had called me family. Not only called me family but pretty much told me off because I would accept that I was family. I looked around and saw my shocked face mirrored on six others.

"What?" Rosalie looked at everyone. "She was pissing me off."

Still no one spoke and ever eye stayed glued to her.

"Did anyone ever think that part of the reason I didn't want her around was to protect her." Rosalie added. "I knew how Edward felt and how you all felt and no one seemed to be worried about what our involvement in her life would do to her. And now look at her. She's been bitten twice, in a coma once, and hunted by more dumbass vampires then all the movie victims combined. Not to mention being turned into one herself and having her future taken away from her." She shrugged. "So over all I would say that I was right."

We all continued to stare at her. I couldn't believe that all this time I had thought that she hated me she was trying to protect me in her own special way. I was off the couch and hugging Rosalie before I knew it.

"Thank you" I told her.

"Don't get to emotional." She pulled back giving me a 'this girl has lost it' look. "I was also protecting me. I don't like change and you have been one big frigging chance after another."

I giggled and pulled her back into another gigantic hug.

"Okay already." Rosalie was giggling with me. "Would someone get her off of me?"

"I got it Rose" I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist and pull me back to the couch. "But you have to admit you stunned us there."

"Stunned?" Alice croaked. "I see the future and I would have bet money that I wouldn't have seen that in a million years. I would have bet it against me." Everyone couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, getting back to the matter before us," Carlisle still sounded dazed. "We need to figure out how to deal with the wolves."

"I think Bella was right" Jasper pointed to me. "She seems to have some kind of connection with them." Edward's arms pulled away from me and I looked up at him with question in my eyes but he was looking away. "I think they would listen to her before they would listen to us."

"I agree" Carlisle stated. "So it is settled." He looked over at me. "Bella you try to contact Jacob and the elders of the tribe and see if you can set up some kind of meeting with them. Explain that we don't want a war and that as soon as the situation with Victoria is done we will go but until then we would like to stay and watch out for Charlie."

"Not to mention clean up our own mess" Jasper added. "That should smooth things over some. Getting them to see that we recognize that this is a problem we started."

"But are we just going to sent Bella to meet them by herself?" Esme asked. "I don't like that idea. What if it is a trap for her? They know how we feel about her and if they hurt her…." Esme looked directly at Edward. "Well let's just say that it would probably be us starting the war instead of them. Maybe that's what they want."

"Of course we wouldn't send her out alone." Carlisle pulled her closer to him. "I would be with her and Edward and maybe Jasper."

"Why don't I get to go?" Emmett bellowed. "I can help."

"Not the same way, Em" Carlisle tried to pacify his son. "You would seem quite intimidating. Whereas Edward can read their thoughts and Jasper can keep the situation calm and under control."

"But if it did turn into a fight then I would be the best person to have there." Emmett was not giving up.

"Maybe but if you walked in with us they would automatically think we were there for a fight." Jasper told him. "Besides Edward and I aren't bad in the fight department. You haven't beaten us yet."

"That's cause you two cheat." Emmett crossed his arms across his chest.

"No we just use what we have naturally." Jasper shrugged. "Just like your strength. It just comes to you."

They continued to go back and forth and at some point I realized that everyone else had left the room. I looked over to find Edward still looking off into the distance. His face seemed wrong somehow. Like he was hurting but wouldn't let anyone help.

"Hey" I leaned into him. "You okay?"

His arms pulled me closer and he smiled down at me but it wasn't my favorite crooked smile. This smile didn't even reach his eyes. "Fine just….worried."

"You know I'll be okay, right?" I didn't want him worrying. "You will be with me and Jasper and Carlisle. Jake and his friends wouldn't dare do anything with all of you there."

"I know" His face still didn't change.

"Is there something else?"

He looked like he wanted to say something. His mouth opened and closed three times before he closed his eyes and shook his head no.

"Are you sure?" I couldn't stand him being hurt and not being able to help. He had been acting so strange since after my talk with Jake. "You know you can tell me anything."

"I know" He kissed my forehead but still remained quiet.

"Hey" I pulled his face down to mine. "I love you"

"I love you" He pulled me closer. "More than you know."

"So you want to go upstairs and finish what we started out in the woods?" I smiled hoping that this might lift whatever was bothering him. "I don't think Alice would dare interrupt us again."

He smiled and this time it did reach his eyes. "Not if she wanted to stay alive."

"I heard that" Alice called down.

"So you want to?" I completely ignored her.

"I would love to." He leaned down and kissed me. "But now isn't a good time." He pulled away and got up. "I'm going for a drive. I'll be back later."

I was about to ask if he wanted company but he left. What was wrong? I wasn't sure what was wrong but whatever it was Edward had just pulled away from me again. He had just left me sitting here again. Granted it wasn't like before and he had said he would be back but he also hadn't shared with me what was wrong.

Suddenly I didn't feel like his equal anymore. I felt like the fragile little human all over again. Why couldn't he share himself with me? I would have given him everything tonight. My heart which he already had, my soul which had belong to him since we fell in love, and my body which I was ready to share but he left.

He left and even though I knew it was different my non-beating heart broke just a little bit more.

**AN: Okay so I know it isn't Thursday but I am getting new internet service tomorrow so I decided to go ahead and post today. I hope you all like it and look for Double posting Thursdays to make a comeback next week. As always please review.**


	14. Chapter 13: MINE

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Mine

**Edward POV**

Two months. It had been two months with nothing. No sightings of Victoria, no word from the wolves, no answers to questions I was too afraid to ask. Two months of nothing.

No that's not entirely true. There had been something. There has been distance between Bella and I. Yes it had been two months of awkward conversations and hesitate kisses. Two months of broken conversations and longing looks. Two months of hurt and anguish. And it was my entire fault.

Sure Bella knew something was wrong but that didn't change the fact that she was perfect. She had taken to vampire life like she was meant to be. Which both excited me and broke my long dead heart. She had managed to control her bloodlust better than anyone other than Carlisle. Even Rosalie had nothing on her and she had never tasted human blood either. Beside that one almost slip at the beginning Bella had been perfect. Alice had even managed to talk her into a shopping trip last week and Bella had lasted about four hours before she had to leave. Although I still wasn't sure if that had to do with the people or the shopping. Either way Bella was amazing.

And I wanted to be happy. I wanted to lose myself in the fact that I had everything I had ever wanted. I had the love of my existence with me every day, she wasn't plagued with the same torturous hunger that the rest of us had spent years overcoming, and she was still just as warm and more beautiful than she had ever been before. Life was great if I could just forget that I had doubts.

I didn't have doubts that Bella loved me. That I knew better than I knew my own name. It was there every time I looked into those wonderfully still brown eyes of hers. No my doubts rested solely in the fact that I couldn't say for sure that I was the only one that she loved. Of course I knew she loved our family and Charlie and Renee and it wasn't that I was jealous of having to share her heart with them. Quite the contrary, I loved that she cared so much about our family and I considered Charlie and Renee family as well. They were the most important people to me besides Bella and I wanted her to feel the same. My jealousy lied with a different person; a different animal. Jacob.

Every time she tried to call him my flesh cringed. I knew that she was trying to set up a meeting to discuss the treaty but still I couldn't help but wonder if she also wanted to talk to him. If she wanted to be with him and laugh with him. Did she miss him the same as she had missed me while we were separated? Did she love him?

I knew it wasn't rational. She was a vampire now and he was her natural enemy. We were living together now. Sharing the same room. In all ways but law she was my mate, my wife, and I wanted to make her that as well. Yet every time I tried to console myself with that thought I flashed back to the day in the meadow when she had went to him instead of coming to me. When she had defended him instead of standing with the family. When she had risked her own life to go off and talk to him privately. What had been said? What had been done? And why did she look so sad when I found her?

I knew I should ask her but I wasn't sure I was ready for the answers. I didn't want to lose her again. Not now; not ever. I couldn't. But could I let her go if she really wanted to be with him? I wanted her to be happy and up until that day in the meadow she had seemed happy. We had been happy. Even now with the distance between us she still floated around the house all smiles and giggles. She wrestled with Jasper and Emmett and had managed to pin both a number of times. She chatted with Rosalie and I was amazed at how they had become such good friends since Rose had made it clear that she was family. Alice barely ever left her side. She was convinced that Bella would be fine by the time we left and since she only had a few more weeks of home schooling she would be ready for college. So to Alice that meant that she needed new college clothes. Bella helped Esme in the garden and talked constantly with Carlisle trying to figure out why she still had human traits.

The best they had come up with so far was that while Bella was going through the change she had tried to hold on to her humanity. She said that was all she had thought about was being able to go back to Charlie, but had there been another reason to hold on. Had she also wished to go back to Jacob?

I ran my fingers through my hair and continued to pace around my old room that was now my new study. This was driving me crazy. No matter what I thought of it always seemed to come back to the idea of Bella and Jacob. And just saying that made my throat close up. I hated it, but on some level I had caused it.

I had left. I had walked away and told her to find someone else and that I would never be coming back. I had cleared a path for him to move right in and win her heart. Could I really be angry that he had? That she had given him the chance?

"Edward?" I heard Bella call out right before she came in. "There you are." She walked up to me radiant as always. "I was going to go hunting and I wanted to know if you would like to come along?"

It was only recently that we had felt she was strong enough to hunt alone but she still asked someone to go every time and normally it was me which filled me with love and hope. "I would love to go with you."

She smiled up at me and kissed my chin. "Let me get my jacket and I will be ready." She turned to go but I was puzzled by her statement.

"Bella you don't need a jacket."

"Trust me Edward" She looked like she was holding something back and I wanted to ask what but was that fair of me when I to was holding back too. I just nodded and she ran off to find her missing jacket.

I made my way to the door only to bump into Alice. _Edward I don't like this trip_

I pulled my eyebrows together as if to ask why. She was talking to me with her thought which must mean that she doesn't want Bella to hear.

_Something isn't right_, Alice continued.

"Will she slip?" I questioned as fast and as quiet as I could.

_No I don't see that_, Alice was shaking her head. _But I can't see all of it and it is giving me an awful feeling._

"Wolves?" I looked directly into her eyes.

_I don't know and that is part of what is bothering me_. This looked like a new level of frustration for her. _It's like someone is waiting to make a decision and whatever they decide will affect your trip._

"You can't see who or what they are deciding?"

_No_, even her thoughts were pouting. _It's like they know if they make a decision then I will see it and they don't want me too._

"Volturi?"

_I can't say_, she closed her eyes and let me see the cloudy vision that showed Bella and I in the forest hunting like normal. _But why would they come here?_

"I don't know" I couldn't think of why they would be here and why if they were they wouldn't just come to Carlisle. He was the one that knew them not the rest of us. "What if we went far away?"

_I can't tell but it might not be a bad idea_, Alice hugged me hearing Bella coming down the stairs. _Just be careful and I will keep watching. If I see anything Emmett, Jasper and I will follow._

"Thanks" I whispered right at Bella rounded the corner.

"What are you two talking about?" She quirked.

"Alice was just mentioning that California was having a problem with their mountain lions and she was thinking we could head out there and help them out." I covered.

"California?" Bella looked shocked. "Isn't that a little far?"

"Not at all" Alice chipped in. "Why you could run there in no time."

"I really wasn't thinking of being gone that long." Bella still wasn't sold and she looked a little agitated.

"It will take no time." Alice wasn't letting up.

Bella thought this over and before either of us could say more she blurted out, "Does this have something to do with Jake and the wolves?"

Again pain and doubt slashed through my heart. Why did it always seem to go back to that dog and his pack?

"No" Alice smirked. "I can't see them remember. All I was suggesting was a nice afternoon for you and Edward and a way to fix a problem." Her eyes darted to me with that last bit and I knew that she had pointedly added that for my benefit.

"Okay" She played with the zipper on her jacket. "If you think that's best." She smiled and reached for my hand.

I pulled her towards the door determined to get this over with and head back quickly before anything could go wrong.

"Hey, why do you have a jacket on?" Alice asked as my hand reached the doorknob and I felt Bella stiffen beside me.

"Um…um" She struggled making me more suspicious by the second. "In case we run into someone. I would hate for them to think anything was wrong."

Alice shrugged. "I don't see it but if it will make you feel better at least take one that matches with your outfit. Hold on let me get you the right one." She sprinted off upstairs.

Bella just closed her eyes and shook her head. "Like anyone is going to notice the jacket doesn't go. I thought black went with everything." She mumbled and I couldn't help but chuckle.

Seconds later Alice showed up with a bright neon yellow jacket and thrust it toward Bella. "Here this goes better."

"With what?" Bella's voice rose slightly. I knew she was still a newborn but she had done so good controlling her temper. "Do you see me directing traffic while we're out?"

"Of course not" Alice laughed. "That would be silly."

"So is that" Bella pointed toward the jacket. "Alice if the whole idea is to keep me inconspicuous then you have just failed miserably. That….that….that is a big fat sign saying 'look at the freak over here'." I didn't mean to laugh but it just came out.

"Sorry Alice but I have to agree with her there." I jumped in. "That is a little noticeable."

"Fine" Alice huffed. "Go" We headed outside but not before I heard Alice's thoughts. _Why do I keep trying? Months under my tutelage and she still has no fashion sense. I might as well give up._

I chuckled to myself and waved it off when Bella looked at me and asked what was wrong. I didn't want to let her know that Alice was pouting behind the door. We walked for a minute into the forest hand in hand and I had to admit it felt wonderful. It was like all of my doubts and fears melted away with Bella next to me.

"Hey Edward if I asked you to go somewhere with me would you do it without asking where?" Bella looked up at me. "Would you trust me?"

"Absolutely" I answered without pause. It was strange how I couldn't trust that I was the only man in her heart but I still trusted her so completely.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist. "Thank you. Let's go hunting." And with that she took off running.

I was still confused but I followed her none the less. I noticed that she wasn't headed in the direction of California but Canada. I thought she knew where we were going but maybe she wasn't sure.

"Bella you're going the wrong way." I called out.

"No, I just don't want to go to California." Bella called back towards me slowing down just a little. "Look Edward, I know that you and Alice were keeping something from me back there. Plus I know that you have been keeping something from me for awhile now."

I breathed deeply. I knew that she knew but I wasn't ready to put it out there yet. I wasn't ready to have my unchanging heart broken just yet.

"Don't worry. I'm not going to pressure you to tell me. I trust that you will do that when you're ready." She shook her head and walked towards me wrapping her arms around my waist. "I just need you to answer two questions."

"Okay" I said hesitantly.

"Are we in danger?" She asked. "And when I say we I am also including Charlie."

"No"

"Do we need to leave right away?"

"No"

"Okay" She smiled at me and kissed me lightly. "Let's finish hunting."

"That's it?" I couldn't help being shocked.

"Yeah" She shrugged. "Edward, I know you. Yes you would lie to me to protect me but I trust that after our last talk and my lessons with Jasper and Emmett that we are past your ridiculous need to shield me and I love you. So I believe that you will tell me the rest in your own time. I only hope it's soon because I hate to see you suffering so and it makes me want to help."

I looked into her eyes and saw my world reflected back at me. Bella was amazing. This small, fragile woman in my arms was the most wonderful person in the world. After everything I had done she was still looking up at me with love and trust and understanding.

"I don't deserve you." She laughed and I could tell that she thought I had that wrong. "But I'm not strong enough to let you go." And I wasn't. Chivalry be damned, nobleness be damned, Jacob be damned. Bella was mine and that was all that mattered.

"That wouldn't be strength that would be stupidity." She joked and ran off into the woods. "Besides I'm the one that doesn't deserve you and I'm not letting you go. So there." I heard her voice call out to me and it sounded like she was surrounding me.

For the first time in months my smile was completely genuine. My happiness was not a show. As Bella's voice surrounded me I felt her love do the same. In that moment nothing mattered. Not my doubts or insecurities. Not our enemies or Jacob. Nothing but Bella and I had to find her.

I crouched down and let my animal instincts take over. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Sure her scent had changed slightly but it was still just as potent to me as ever. I let it wash over my senses and ran off in the direction that it was the strongest. I slowed when I knew I was getting close to her. I let my eyes scan the area but didn't see a sign of her anywhere. I crept slower in between the trees and stopped breathing the space in. Her scent was here but she wasn't. Fear began to set in. What if she had ran into a trap? Could the wolves have her right now? Would Jacob harm her?

What if it wasn't the wolves? Alice's vision had been cloudy. What if it was Victoria? What if the decision that had changed everything was one we made ourselves? I let the breeze of the air feel my lungs again. There was no other vampire around which calmed me a little.

"Bella" I called out. "Bella" I looked around. "Come on. This isn't funny anymore." I heard a small giggle and turned just as a hard body knocked me on my stomach.

"Gotta ya" Bella whispered in my ear laughing the whole time. "Who's the fragile little human now?" She asked as she had me pinned to the forest floor.

I couldn't help but laugh as I turned and rolled her underneath me. "I don't know. I'm the one who has you pinned down."

"Only cause I let you."

"Really" I smiled.

"Yes" She looked at me innocently. "Why wouldn't I? It's easier to kiss you this way." And with that she pressed her lips to mine.

Instincts took over again. I pulled her closer to me so that I could feel every inch of her. This was what I wanted. Nothing but Bella and I for eternity. No doubts or distractions or vengeful vampires hunting us down. I wanted Bella in my arms, wrapped around me and loving me until the earth stopped moving. She was the only thing that made anything in this world make sense.

"Bella" I kissed a trail down her neck to the upper slop of her collar and it still wasn't enough.

"I love you" She breathed against me. "Edward, I love you so much."

That was all it took to forget everything. My hands released their death grip on her and began to pull her jacket off. I felt Bella's shaky hands at the base of my shirt and I stopped long enough to let her pull it over my head. By the time she had discarded it I had her jacket and shirt off and was placing my body on top of hers.

"Edward" Bella pulled me closer as electricity ran through our bodies that their first contact without clothing. We had never been this close before and it still wasn't enough.

"Bella, tell me to stop" I knew she deserved better but I couldn't bring myself to stop.

"No"

"Bella" I was part prayer, part surrender. I couldn't fight it, fight myself, any longer. I needed her. All of her. I needed her to belong to me in every way.

"Bella" I placed her face in between my hands and kissed her with all the love and passion I could. "I love you so much." I pulled away looking deep into those marvelous brown eyes that drowned me every time.

"Bella you mean everything to me. How I ever thought I could make it one day, one hour, without you I will never know. You are my heart, my world, my life. Isabella, you are my soul." I saw her draw breath and I knew if she still could she would be crying. "I am yours forever. For ever day of forever. Isabella Marie Swan will you marry me?"

**AN: Okay so I hope that I did good for you guys. I must admit that with all of Edward's problems and insecurities I loved writing this chapter. Although it did take a completely different turn then I had originally planned. I guess that is the best thing I have learned writing these stories. Sometimes they have a mind of their own and you just have to go with it. I must say even though the characters took me someplace I wasn't expecting I love the direction and I hope you do too.**

**So don't make me blue; please review.**


	15. Chapter 14: ANSWERS

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Answers

**Bella POV**

"Isabella Marie Swan will you marry me?"

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't breathe. Edward had just asked me to marry him. He had just asked me to marry him. I couldn't stop blinking. Yes I wanted to be with Edward forever and now that I was a vampire then I could but married at eighteen? Renee would kill me.

"Edward" I bit my lip. "I want to say yes but I'm not sure."

I saw his face crumble and I quickly pulled him so that he was still looking into my eyes. "Don't pull away from me." I needed him to understand. "This has nothing to do with you or my trust in you. It has to do with me."

"I don't understand."

"Edward I love you." I started. "And I want to be with you forever. I know that but everything has changed so quickly. Not to mention that I was brought up with Renee drilling into me that you don't get married at eighteen because it will ruin your life."

"Bella" Edward laughed. "You're going to be eighteen for a long time."

"I know but I just need time to think about it." I looked up at him hopefully. "I need time to reconcile my lives, both human and vampire, so that I am ready to make that kind of commitment. And...." I didn't' want to tell him.

"And?"

"You'll think it sounds silly." I tried to look away but he held my face firm.

"Bella, tell me"

"I….I…." How do you say something you know might not be able to happen? "I want….I want…..my father to be able to give me away." I closed my eyes.

"Bella look at me" Edward prompted and my eyes fluttered open. "Why would you think I would think that sounded silly?"

"Because I know that I can't be around people and I should be able to let my old life go." How could I explain?

"That's not silly." Edward was shaking his head.

"It is." I set up looking around for my jacket. I couldn't have this conversation with him while just wearing my bra and pants.

"Why would you think that?" He moved to sit next to me.

"Because" How to make him see? "I'm a vampire now and things have changed. I'm not even living with Charlie anymore and he still is in danger. I haven't been able to see him for almost three months. That's why I wanted to go….." I bit my lip. I hadn't meant to tell him until it was too late to stop me and Alice wouldn't be able to see.

"Where? Where did you want to go?" Edward asked.

"To…to see Charlie." I shrugged. "I knew that I couldn't go in and sit and talk to him and tell him what has been going on. But I thought if I could just peak in the window and get a good look at him. If I could make sure he was taking care of himself and was safe then I would be okay." I looked away. "I would be able to say goodbye."

"Bella, you don't have to say goodbye."

"Yes, I do." I went on. "I know how this works. We have to move soon and I won't be aging. Everyone's done it."

"But this is a different situation." Edward grabbed my hand. "With most of us our family was either dead or couldn't connect us to the family. And most of us took years controlling our thirst. Yet with you not only are you doing incredible at controlling yourself Charlie knows us. He knows your connect to us and if we were to go there and tell him we were getting married then you could still have him in your life for a time."

"And what about when he looks at me Edward?" I stood up. "I don't exactly look like the frumpy old high school student he last saw."

"First of all, you were never frumpy." He stood with me. "Second, so you look slightly different. People tend to believe what they are going to believe and rationalize the rest. So if we don't make a big deal out of it then I doubt he will either."

"Until I attack him." I mumbled crossing my arms across my chest.

"I wouldn't let that happen." He pulled me into his arms. "Besides you are doing so good. Way better than any of us ever did with the exception of Carlisle. Plus you didn't attack anyone at the mall with Alice."

"But it was a bigger space."

"What if we invite him over to the house?" Edward suggested. "It's bigger than his home and you will have the whole family there just in case."

"You would do that?" I felt hopeful again.

"Absolutely" He leaned down and kissed me. "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

I wrapped my arms around him neck. "Did I mention I love you?"

"I don't remember" The sparkle in his eye told me he was joking. "Maybe you could remind me."

I stepped away from him and pulled my jacket back off letting it drop from my fingers. "Do you remember now?"

I saw his eyes darken not in hunger but in lust. "It's starting to come back to me."

I stepped closer but still out of arm reach. "How about now?"

"Definitely coming back"

One more step. "Now?"

"Almost"

My foot was raised to move when Edward stiffened and his eyes moved away from me. Suddenly he was in front of me and I was wrapped around his back. He wasn't crouched down as if in defense but the tick in his jaw did let me know that it was an unwelcome visitor.

"God don't you two ever do anything other than make out?" I heard a familiar voice right before Jacob walked into the wooded area.

"What do you want?" Edward asked curtly.

"Just needed to talk to Bella." Jacob sneered at him. "She has been trying to reach me."

"For like two months Jake." I interrupted this all too familiar scene. Replace the forest with the meadow and it would be just the same as the first time Jake found us.

"I've been busy." He shrugged.

"Are you kidding?" I stepped away from Edward with my hands on my hips and my anger rising. "Jacob Black you have not been busy. You have been avoiding me and you know it. You have kept my family on pins and needles waiting to see what your elders have said. Forgetting that we could guard Charlie as well because we couldn't see if you are your little wolf friends were going to attack. You have left everyone vulnerable while you went off and pouted somewhere and that is not only wrong it is unacceptable."

"Um Bella" Jake looked down. "You…"

"Oh no you don't." I pushed ahead feeling Edward's arms wrap around my waist but shaking them off. "You are not going to blame this on me. This is entirely your fault. Of all the pig-headed, retarded things to pull." I walked closer. "Look I know that you are mad at me for changing into a vampire but you are still my family and I do not appreciate being left in the dark. And then to have you show up here and blame me?"

"That's not what I was going to say." Jake looked positively green. Like he was going to throw up any moment.

"Jake are you okay?" I lost all my anger with him and rushed over to help. "What's wrong?"

"Your…kinda…." He pointed to my body and I looked down to find that I was still standing in just my bra and pants.

"Oh my God" I rushed over to scope up my jacket and put it on zipping it all the way up. "Sorry" I looked at Edward to see a scowl on his face.

"It's okay" Jacob looked back up. "Just a little unexpected. Guess things have changed since that summer when you were six and I was four and we went skinny dipping."

I found myself laughing against my will. It was strange that I could still remember that. Jake had given me my first glance at a naked male and I had been red the whole time.

"Yeah they have." I couldn't help letting my eyes dart quickly to Edward. I noticed that he had put his shirt back on also. Still I could help thinking about what Jake interrupted and if I would have gone red with him being naked.

Jacob shook his head as if to clear it. "So I did come out here to find you and yes I have been busy." Jake held up his hand to stop the tirade that I was about to start. "Look the elders where not so happy that you were changed okay, Sam has been pushing for a war, my dad wants to tell Charlie everything so I have been holding him back, and on top of that Quil changed."

"Quil?" I remembered the light-hearted, soft spoken young boy.

"Yeah"

"How did he take it?"

"Better than the rest." Jacob laughed. "He was just glad to be let in on the secret."

I laughed too. "That sounds like Quil."

"Yeah" Jacob pulled himself back to business. "Anyway, the elders still haven't made a decision but if it helps I have been looking out for Charlie too."

"You have?" I couldn't believe it.

"Yeah" He looked over at Edward. "I know it's out of our territory but I figured we were owned a little slack all things considered."

I saw Edward wince. "What are you doing to him?" I walked over to put my arm around Edward.

"Nothing" Jacob smirked. "Much."

"Jake" My eyes narrowed. "I'm still new so my temper can get out of hand. What are you doing?"

"Relax, Bells" I heard Jacob say right as Edward told me it was alright. "I was just pointing out that since he bit you we should be able to have a little leeway."

"That's all?"

"And maybe a few other things that your bloodsucker didn't like so much."

"Jacob Black you will not do that again do you hear me?" I stood in front of Edward in a stance of protection.

"Relax" Jacob rolled his eyes. "Geez you sound like Rachel."

"Well I might as well. I'm almost every bit as much of a sister to you as she is."

"But neither of you are my mom so stop treating me like a kid." He yelled back and I could see his hands start to shake.

"Then stop acting like one." I felt Edward try to push me behind him but I held my place. "Look Jake, you are like my best friend and I want you and Edward to get along."

I heard both of the snorts. "If not for yourselves then for me."

"Bella he's a werewolf" Edward pointed out the obvious.

"And he's a vampire" Jacob grimaced.

"And I'm a Virgo" I shouted. "I'm not saying you have to be best buddies or anything but I would like it if you both didn't look at each other as if you would rip the other apart."

"We would" They both said in unison.

"For the love of…." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Listen could you just try? Please."

They both looked each other up and down with revulsion. "Fine" Edward caved first.

"Sure, sure" Jacob crossed his now still arms.

"Thank you." I kissed Edward on the check and smiled at Jake. "Now what did the elders have to say."

"They still aren't sure." Jake started. "At first they were saying war but then Quil changed and we have been busy helping him to adjust. Now they seem to be split. Some say war and some say it would be suicide. They have left it in my hands."

He looked so old in that moment; so old and hard. Nothing like the carefree boy of four that laughed the whole time we were in the water or even the kid that hung out in my room just a few months ago. I wanted to comfort him but I needed an answer.

"Jake"

"I know Bella" He cut me off. "I don't want to fight you either but the other wolves don't see it quite that way."

"But if it's your choice" Edward jumped in.

"Look I didn't ask for this bloodsucker" Jacob's body started to shake. "And I hate it but it's my responsibility so just back off."

"Jake calm down." I tried.

"Sorry" He said after he had himself under control. "Look I didn't come out here to fight. I just wanted to let you know where things stand and for right now I say that you get to stay until the threat to Charlie and the area is settled. After that I don't know."

"Thanks Jake" I ran and threw my arms around him.

I felt him chuckle. "Sure, sure" He pushed me away. "I have to go."

"So soon?" It seemed like I was losing family all the time.

"Yeah" He turned to walk away before turning back. "But give me a call. This time I promise to answer."

I smiled at him. "Thanks I might just do that."

"Sure, whatever." He started running away from us. "See ya around Bells"

"See ya Jake" I called after him. Finally one part of my past life and my new life resolved. It felt like a weight was lifted. I turned toward Edward and was surprised at the open hostility that I could see on his face. "Edward?"

"Just what the hell is going on between you and that dog?" Edward almost yelled.

"Who? Jake?"

"Yes"

"He's my friend." I shrugged. "Actually more like family."

"I've never gone skinny dippy with any of my family." Edward grumbled.

"Edward you said you would try to get along." I pointed out.

"Well, I lied." Edward stumbled. "How can I get along with same mange pup that seems to think he is better for my mate than me?"

"Your mate?" He had never called me that before. I had always been his girlfriend and I knew that mate was the same as wife to them.

"Yes" Edward shouted. "I don't like him. I don't like the way he looks at you or the way he thinks about you or the way you seem to always be so happy to see him and so anxious to call him. I mean you have practically called him every day."

"I was trying to set up the meeting with them to discuss the treaty. You know that." He was jealous.

"Well, you didn't have to get so mad at him for not answering your calls." He crossed his arms against his chest and stood there pouting like a five year old boy. "It's not right and I don't like it."

"Is that what this has been about?" I asked with a smirk. "You've been jealous of Jake for the last two months?"

"Maybe" He didn't look at me.

I stood there staring at him. Two months of thinking I had done something wrong or that he wished he hadn't changed me and the whole time he was jealous. I busted out laughing. I was laughing so hard that my sides hurt.

"I fail to see the humor in this" Edward looked irritated at me.

"I can't help it." I got out between laughs. I had wrapped my arms around me to stop the pain.

"Bella" He sounded impatient which only made me laugh harder.

"I'm sorry but it's just so….so…." I was bent over at this point but I couldn't stand up. "So stupid."

"Thanks"

"I'm sorry but it is." It was a good thing I didn't need to breathe because I would be blue.

"Well, when you are done laughing at my expense I will be at the house." Edward turned to leave.

"Oh come on." I straighten up and tried to control my laughter. "Edward calm down." I put my arm on his to stop him.

"How am I supposed to calm down when you sit here and laugh at me and tell me I'm stupid?"

"I didn't say you were stupid." I smiled still trying to stop my laughter completely. "I said you being jealous was stupid."

"What?"

"Edward" I wrapped my arms around him. "I love you, you idiot. I have always loved you. Even when you weren't here and I didn't know if you were coming back I still loved you. There has never and will never be anyone else for me but you."

"Really?" He looked into my eyes.

"Yes"

"So part of the reason you didn't say yes to marrying me wasn't because of Jacob Black?"

"Are you kidding?" I laughed again but not as hard this time. "Jacob didn't even enter my mind until he came into the forest. He is family. It would be like dating my brother." I shuttered. "Besides you think he could really hold a candle to you?"

For the first time in months the smile on Edward's face was not only my crooked smile but it reached his eyes. "I love you so much Bella"

"I love you too." I told him. "Only you now and forever."

"I like the sound of that." He kissed me.

"So do I." I kissed him back letting him pull me closer. "Oh and by the way" I broke my lips apart from his. "My answer is yes."

"Yes?"

"Of course I'll be your wife."

**AN: Double posting Thursdays strike again! HaHa. I have to tell you that in a sick almost masochistic way I like Thursdays. It gives me a deadline because I know you guys are waiting for it and it keeps me from letting the story slide to the backside. So thanks not only for your reviews but for reading and keeping me on track.**

**Don't make me blue; please review.**


	16. Chapter 15: GUILT

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Guilt

**Bella POV**

"Relax Bella" Alice piped in. "Charlie will be here in exactly twelve minutes and twenty three seconds."

"Did you really think she needed the seconds Alice?" Rosalie mocked. "She's been pacing in front of that window for hours. I don't think she's worried about seconds."

"Maybe" Alice continued. "But it's just nice to be punctual."

I wanted to laugh at them but I was too nervous. Charlie had agreed to come over but he hadn't sounded excited about it. Actually his voice had sounded more defeated than anything and I hated the thought that I had done that to him.

I knew that he was still made about the fact that I had disappeared with the Cullens and had threatened to never return if he tried to find me but I had done that for his own protection. With Victoria still on the loose and me a new vampire the last thing we had needed was Charlie running around trying to find me. Especially since I wasn't all that far.

It still troubled me why Victoria had left my dad alone. Don't get me wrong, I was glad she did but why not hurt him in some way so that I knew she was after me. Maybe she was interrupted or maybe her hate of me only extended to Edward and myself? Who knows and I was too anxious to think any more about it.

Part of me could wait for him to get here and another part hoped he never showed up. I wanted to see him but I wasn't completely sure that I could trust myself. I had spent the last two days being assured half the time by everyone of the Cullens that things would be alright and the other half how being told how to act human.

Alice was relieved that I didn't have to use the contacts that she had purchased for me, which she still wouldn't tell me when she had bought, because she said they made your eyes hurt. Rosalie and Esme had given me pointers on when to flip my hair and when to blink and Emmett had of course reminded me to go to the bathroom every couple hours. Edward had done nothing while everyone was filling my head with human thoughts. He had held my hand and smiled while whispering "you'll do fine" in my ear. Over all I think he had helped the most.

I stopped pacing when I heard the cruiser turn off the main road. Edward was by me in a flash and had his arm wrapped strongly around my waist.

"You can do this" He told me and kissed just below my ear. I wanted so much to turn and loose myself in his arms. To convince myself that everything would be as he predicted. My eyes darken and I moved closer to him.

"Hmm Edward I don't know what you're doing but you have Bella all flustered." Jasper laughed from the chair in front of the TV. He and Emmett where in the middle of some play station game and they didn't look as if they were about to stop. Matter of fact Jasper didn't even look back when he mentioned my emotional state.

"Sorry" Edward smiled and led me over to the sofa behind them.

"Why are we sitting?"

"It will take some of the pressure off if you don't have to greet him at the door." Alice answered. "Besides we would hate for you to move a little too fast getting to the sofa after he gets here."

"Oh" I mouthed. There were too many butterflies in my stomach to argue with her now.

"Relax" Edward kneaded my shoulder. "Everything will be okay." I leaned into him; closing my eyes and breathing his scent in heavily.

"Still not helping" Jasper sing-songed at us.

"Well what would you have me do?" Edward turned toward him.

"Anything but whatever you're doing." Jasper still didn't turn around.

"Maybe they should start out in the bedroom and then make an entrance." Emmett joined in and was immediately hit with a pillow from Rose.

"You know, I'm about sick of getting hit for voicing my opinions." Emmett glanced over at her.

"Then stop having such stupid opinions" Rose didn't look phased at all.

"Could you guys please not argue right now?" I yelled. "I'm having a hard enough time concentrating and I would really hate to kill my own father." I felt a wave of calm hit me right at I finished and closed my eyes silently thanking Jasper for his amazing gift.

Before long there was a ring of the doorbell and I saw Carlisle walk slowly over to the door.

"Charlie" He smiled and motioned for him to enter. "Come on in."

"Carlisle" Charlie's voice was so tight. "Where's Bella?"

"Right here dad." I noticed the change in my voice right of the bat and the expression on Charlie's face told me he did too.

"Bella?"

"Yeah dad" I tried to modulate the timber so that I sounded more like myself but it was no use. "I'm right here." I stood and walked over and gave him a hug. I breathed deeply to get use to the smell and felt the venom rise in my throat.

"Bella you look so different." He pulled back slightly.

"What can I say dad." I joked looking at Alice. "You know Alice and her makeovers. Be glad my hair isn't blonde and I'm not wearing a mini skirt."

Everyone laughed except Charlie and Alice. Charlie because he was still staring at me and Alice because she had in fact wanted me to wear a black leather mini skirt and a pair of stiletto black leather boots.

"It's not just that Bells" Charlie was shaking his head. "It's something else but I can't put my finger on it."

"Its fine dad" I moved away from him and made my way back to Edward. I looked up and the worry on his face let me know that Charlie wasn't buying anything.

"Have a seat Charlie" Edward pointed to the chair across from the sofa that we were back to sitting on.

Charlie sat down but kept his eyes on me. They narrowed and widened and not once did they show that he was comfortable with the situation.

"So how have you been?" I tried to break the proverbial ice.

"Fine and you?"

"Okay. How is work?"

"Fine. There's been a rash of killings in Seattle but the police down there seem to have it under control. Still they are letting everyone know to be on the lookout for anything out of the usual."

"I see" I looked around and noticed that Jasper, Carlisle and Edward seemed to be having a private conversation regarding this latest detail. Probably thinking it has something to do with Victoria.

We sat there quietly neither knowing what to say until Charlie apparently couldn't take it anymore. "Are you going to tell me what is going on Bella or not?"

"What do you mean?" I tried playing dumb.

"What do I mean?" He stood then placing his hands on his waist instinctually covering his gun. "You disappear with Alice for a week three months ago, She calls me and tells me your in the hospital but we can't find you, you call and threaten to leave for good if I try to find you, and now your back with him looking different and acting as if nothing has changed. What is going on?"

"Dad calm down"

"I don't want to calm down." I looked over at Jasper but he was shaking his head. Apparently Charlie was blocking him somehow. "I want an answer and I want it now."

"Charlie it's more complicated than that." Edward came to my rescue.

"Then uncomplicated it." Charlie's eyes narrowed at him. "And someone else explain it. I don't wait to hear anything from you."

"Dad"

"What?" Charlie looked flabbergasted. "You expect me to hear explanation about my daughter from the idiot who left her crying and alone in the middle of the forest. Who didn't care enough to make sure she made it home safely. Who hasn't been around for months to see her walking around like a zombie because she was in so much pain? I don't think so."

"Dad" I placed my hand on top of Edwards to ward off all that Charlie was saying. "It was a difficult situation but we have worked it out and I would appreciate you not bringing it up again."

"Just like that?" Charlie asked disbelievingly. "You just forgive him just like that?"

"Yes" I felt my anger rise and hoped Jasper would level it out. "And I expect you to do the same."

"No"

"NO?"

"No" Charlie wouldn't back down. "He hurt you Bella. How am I suppose to just forget about that?"

"Because I asked you too." I was standing now. "That should be reason enough but if not then because I'm your daughter and because you love me. How about that?"

He turned away and walked toward the wall full of windows. I knew I was hurting him but I needed him to move past this. To accept it even if he never forgave Edward.

"Dad I know this is hard for you." I walked closer to him but kept a distance so as not to be tempted. "It's hard for me to." I told him honestly. "But this is my life and I've made my choice."

"What choice?" He asked still not looking at me.

"Edward has asked me to marry him and I said yes." I looked back at Edward and he was smiling at me. "It would mean a lot to me, to us, to have your blessing."

"What about school?"

"I've been home schooling." I laughed. "Did you know that Esme was a teacher and that you can graduate faster if you study at home?" And if you have a vampire brain that retains everything you read I added to myself.

"What was wrong with going to school?" Charlie turned on me. "What was wrong with hanging out with your other friends like Jessica or Angela or Jacob? Why do you have to rush into any of this?"

I opened my mouth to answer but nothing would come out. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth but I didn't want to lie to him either. How do you explain something that you can't explain?

"Look Bella, I don't wait to lose you and I feel that I am." Charlie walked over and placed his hands on my arms. "I'm not pleased with this whole Edward thing but we can discuss it. Just come home."

He looked so wounded. I couldn't say no but I knew I couldn't say yes. I felt the venom pooling in my mouth simply standing here. If I lived with him again it would be a disaster.

"Come on kid" He smiled. "You don't have to rush into anything. You can finish high school and then go off to college. And maybe if you get a part time job and I save a little more then we could swing one of those foreign exchange student things. There's so much more life to see before you settle down. You're so young. Just slow down a little and let me catch up okay." I would be crying if I could. "Come on what do you say? Come home?"

He was perfect and I had never felt guiltier in my life. All those trips that he had taken every summer just because I hated it here, all the times he had called when I was living with mom and I had blown him off, even letting me move up here last year when he knew that I didn't really want to be here. He was so much more than I ever deserved in a father and here I was already gone.

I couldn't go home. I couldn't tell him why and I couldn't share all those experiences with him. I finally understood what Edward had been saying. Becoming a vampire there was so much to give up. So much you would miss. I had only saw the good of spending eternity with the only man I could ever love but there was so much more. Like saying goodbye to the first man that had always only loved me.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't hurt him anymore. So I ran. Again I ran away from that house. Away from my family and those that loved me. I ran and ran and when I thought the guilt and pain would swallow me whole I ran some more. How could I ever leave Charlie? How could I stay? He deserved to know the truth but I couldn't tell him and because of that I would continue to hurt him.

I heard steps coming quickly across from me and looked up expecting to find Edward.

"Well, well, well" The sicken lovely voice crooned to me. "How nice of you to deliver yourself right to me. Must be my lucky day."

Damn it, I was staring up at my worst nightmare and she was staring down at me with wild crimson eyes. I really have got to stop running out of that house.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Alice POV**

Poor Charlie. He looked so sad pacing back and forth behind the couch. I didn't need Edward's power to tell that he had no idea what to do in this situation. He knew something wasn't right but he didn't want Bella hurt. It was strange how his decisions kept changing. One minute I would see him trying to pick Bella up and drag her from the house and the next I would see him hugging her and telling her that everything was alright. Has there ever been a father that loved his daughter more? Or had faced a more ridiculous situation?

I looked over at Carlisle, who was sitting quietly with Esme, and thought of how much he would do for us. He had moved countless times because of Jasper's slips or Emmett's, he had listened when we all knew he wanted to scold, he had excepted Bella as his own without question the instant he realized how much Edward loved her. Carlisle was a good father. Every bit as wonderful as Charlie but unlike him Carlisle knew what was going on. And unlike Charlie he could protect his newest daughter.

I closed my eyes and once again tried to search out Bella's future. I hadn't seen her run until she was halfway out the door but I don't really think Bella was thinking all that much when she turned away from us. There was probably about as much thought going through her head as there had been Edward's when he ran after her.

I focused again and found her. She seemed to be in the forest not too far from here but still closer to the Canadian border than Forks. I could see her shoulders shaking and I knew that tears would be falling if possible. She hadn't made any decisions about heading home and I didn't see Edward there…..wait, what was that. I zeroed in on the flash that appeared and then faded. Crimson eyes, lithe moves, bright red hair. No, please, no. My body tensed and Jasper was by my side before I even uttered a word.

"What is it, Alice?"

I wanted to answer but just as my mouth opened the scene went dark. I searched and searched and nothing. I looked for Edward but again nothing. I couldn't find them. Which could mean one of two things and I prayed that it was the one that brought Edward and Bella back to us.

I whispered at vampire speed, "Victoria has Bella and I can't find Edward". Everyone was suddenly on alert. Charlie stopped pacing and looked around at the now aware faces.

"What happened?" He asked. I hadn't wanted to worry him but there was nothing to be done about it now.

"Nothing for you to worry about." I piped in my cheeriest voice. I noticed that everyone had moved over to the door and was preparing to make a fast exit. "We just need to run out for a moment."

"Does this have to do with Bella?" The panic was evident on his face and in his voice but I quickly made light of the situation.

"Charlie just trusts us." I moved over to the door where everyone else had already left. "We'll be back in a few."

"Alice if something has happened to Bella I'm coming with you." He reached for his gun. I found myself smiling internally. Silly human's always thought guns could protect them.

"Charlie you have to listen to me." There was nothing to do now but to tell him as much as I could to keep him safe. "Something has happened with Bella but we need you to stay here."

"Not a chance." He was shaking his head.

"Look Charlie you go after her then you're just going to get her killed." He paused and looked deep in my eyes. Whatever he saw must have reached him because he took a step back.

"What is going on Alice?"

"I can't tell you." I needed to go and this was taking longer than necessary. "I'm sorry Charlie but we need you to stay here. " I pulled out a key and pointed to the light switch on the wall. "When I leave I need you to flip the second switch. It will lock the house up and drop down covers on all the windows. The only key that will open it is this. Just stay put and we will be back with Bella as soon as possible."

"Alice, this doesn't make any sense." He still looked torn.

"Charlie there are things in our world that you are not prepared for." I told him. "But we are."

"And Bella?"

I laughed. If he only knew. "Right now Bella is more prepared than you will ever be." I opened the door. "Just stay here and do as I said."

"Fine" He huffed. "But when you get back I want to know everything. No more secrets and no more lies. This ends tonight."

**AN: Wow so you guys are so lucky. My power went out and it was so close to being a double posting Friday. But thank goodness the power came back and I am able to post this. I hope you enjoy. This was a hard chapter to write because I knew the middle and I knew the end but I couldn't figure out how to start it. So let me know what you think.**

**Don't make me blue; please review.**


	17. Chapter 16: GOODBYE

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Goodbye

**Edward POV**

That bitch had Bella. There was no other way around it. I was hoping Alice saw this and where we were but I couldn't wait for them. I could read her mind and I knew that she wouldn't stop until Bella was destroyed.

I was about to take a step when I heard what months ago would have felt like another death trap.

_Damn she had Bella_, it was like Jacob was reading my mind not the other way around. _Sam, where are you?_

_Almost to you_, the other voice flowed into my mind.

_Embry, Quil are you guys on your way?_

_Yeah_, I heard two distinct and different voices this time.

_Where are Jared and Paul?_

_I just phased and Jared should be right behind me but we are still at La Push so we are farther than the rest._ How many werewolves were there now?

_That's fine_, the leadership in Jacob's voice could not be doubted. He might not have asked for this but he was born for it. _I need you two to hang back a little. _

_How many are there?_ Sam's voice called out my own question.

_I am getting nine maybe ten_, I heard Jacob. He had to be wrong. Or was he? I had been so focused on Victoria that I hadn't paid any attention to anything else. _The red-headed leech is with Bella and then the rest are surrounding them. It looks like she is trying to protect herself while she goes after her._

_Damn, she's gotten smarter_, the voice I believed to be Jared echoed my sentiments.

_So have we_, Jacob had a plan. I could see it and it just might work. I began to make my way over to him. As much as I still wasn't his biggest fan, right now Bella's life was in danger and my family was too far away. I would take whatever I could get as long as she was fine in the end.

_Okay Sam I need you to come at them from the west, Embry you come from the north and Quil you hit them from the south. Jared, Paul you two circle through and catch anyone that we miss._ Jacob was giving orders as if he had been trained in war not a human high school. _Everyone got it?_

I heard continuous yeses and I could see that they were further out than Jacob. _Sam are you in position yet?_

_Almost_

_Not good enough_, Jacob swore again in his mind. _One of them is getting closer to me and that bloodsucker is closing in on Bella. I'll wait as long as I can but if you aren't here in two minutes I'm going in._

_No Jacob_, I could hear the anger in Sam's voice. _You can't risk it. _

_I won't let her hurt Bella._

_But she's a bloodsucker now_, Sam was really getting on my nerves. _She isn't the same Bella you knew and thought you loved. You have to let her go. She made her choice and she deserves whatever happens to her._

_THAT'S ENOUGH_; the roar in Jacob's thoughts was unmistakable. _We will stop the red-head and we will save Bella and there will be no other questions about it. Is everyone clear?_

I could see the quiver of Sam's body and thoughts. He had no choice. It was strange to see. Almost as if free will had been stripped from him at Jacob's command. Could this be how the pack worked? The alpha had the power to control the others?

_Good, now hurry up, the stench is getting unbearable_. Jacob had to mean me. I hadn't smelled anyone else close to us.

I didn't want to scare him by jumping out but I didn't want to alert any of the others to the fact that I we were nearby either. I settled for throwing something to get his attention. I picked up a small rock and launched it at his head. He turned as soon as the rock bounced of him.

_Edward?_ I heard the question in his head. _Great, what the hell is he doing here? And why isn't he with Bella?_

_Edward's there?_ Sam was back but with less fire to his voice. _I told you this was too risky._

_Shut up, Sam._ Jacob was clearly at his end with his older brother and so was I.

"What are you doing here?" He mouthed to me.

"Trying to save Bella." I mouthed back. "And you can think it. I can hear you just fine."

I saw his wolf eyes widen. _He can hear what I'm thinking?_ I shook my head so that he could tell that I had heard him. _Why didn't Bella say something?_

"Protecting me" I told him out loud. It was a risk but I was closer to him now and although the smell was toxic he was my only hope in rescuing Bella.

_Figures_, I saw his eyes roll. _Fine, if you're here to help then let's hear your plan._

"Right now I got nothing." I told him honestly. "My family is back at the house and if Bella had of just stayed there instead of running out when Charlie asked her to move back home then we would be fine now."

_Charlie is at your house?_ Jacob's wolf face looked incredulous. _Unbelievable. Planning on turning him too?_

"No" I remarked. "Bella wanted to see her dad."

_Oh,_ he backed down_. Sounds like her_. I shook my head in agreement. _So what do you know about this leech that can help us?_

"She hates me." That was really about all I knew.

_Something we have in common but not overly helpful_, Jacob sneered.

I was struck with a thought. "It might be" I smiled. "She is doing all this just to torture Bella and I but mostly me. You need time for the other wolves to get here. If I go in there I could probably hold her off."

_In a fight you mean?_

"Or verbally" I ticked my head. "There are things she doesn't know about this James she is so determined to avenge. I could point them out."

_Do you think that will work?_

"I'm not sure but if it gives you enough time to get Bella out of here then that's all that is important." I told him.

His eyes widen again but he nodded. _I never thought I would say this but be careful and good luck._ I knew it took a lot for him and I smiled back. I turned and braced myself for my confrontation with the vampire hell-bent on destroying my love.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Bella POV**

"Why so sad?" She taunted. "Edward leave you again?"

I knew I had to give Edward time to get here. "What do you want Victoria?"

She threw back her head and laughed. "I would think that would be obvious even to you. You killed James and now I'm going to kill you."

"I didn't kill James." I shouted.

"No but you started it." She snarled back. "You and your ridiculous boyfriend. Whoever heard of a vampire falling in love with a human? He should have been killed just for the thought."

"Don't touch him." I screamed. She could do whatever she wanted to me but I would kill her myself before I let her touch Edward.

"Touchy, touchy" She laughed again. "Don't worry. I don't plan on laying one little hand on your vampire lover. That would be too easy. No, when I get done with you he will have wished that I had gone after him."

"He'll kill you."

"Maybe" She moved so fast I didn't see it even with the vampire eyes. "But he took my only reason to live."

She reached for me and my instincts kicked in. I sped away from her and turned in a crouch position. If Edward wasn't going to find me then I would just have to defend myself. Never had I been so grateful that I had won an argument with before but with Jasper and Emmett's training I was confident I could at least hold her off for awhile.

"How did you do that?"

I smiled at her suddenly feeling a little better about the outcome of our meeting. She hadn't noticed that I was changed. The brown eyes must have done it. "Did you miss something Victoria?"

I saw her eyes close and then widen in shock. "He changed you?" I said nothing but my smile turned sly as I stared straight at her. "But you look the same?"

"Still there are a few upgrades." Maybe if I could just keep her baffled long enough then I wouldn't have to fight her and Alice could see this and seen in re-enforcements.

"This can't be." Victoria really looked taken aback.

"What's wrong?" Now I was the tauter. "Not how you planned it? Not as much fun when you can't torture and kill the poor little helpless human?"

She looked around and when her eyes found mine again there was a new glint in them. "No it's not what I expected but it changes nothing." She started walking toward me. "So young still. You have no idea how easy it is to torture a vampire but you will."

"Oh come now Vikki" I heard the most beloved voice in the world. "You really think I would miss this. That I would let you torture her? Who's young now?"

Victoria looked around again. "Where did you come from?"

Edward made his way over to me and winked. My dead heart leaped. The family must be here. I breathed a sigh of relief. Victoria would die and we would be able to move on with our lives.

"Who are you looking for?" Edward smiled his crooked smile. "Surely you know James isn't coming for you this time and as for the others their taken care of."

I saw fear lace her eyes as she looked around again. "Don't go" Edward moved closer to her. "This will be the only shot you get. You have to know that, right?"

"How did you do it?" She screamed.

"Same way I took care of James." Edward edged to the side cutting off her escape route.

"You bastard" She moved around so that she was moving closer to me.

"Don't even think about it." Edward's eyes narrowed. "You'll be dead before you touch one hair on her head."

She stopped moving and stared at him. "No options?" Edward laughed. "Poor thing. Too bad James didn't think enough of you to bring to Arizona with him. You two could have died together."

"Shut up" Victoria snarled.

"But then he was sick of you by then anyway." Edward shrugged.

"How would you know?"

"I can read minds Victoria." He laughed. "Boy he was right too; you really aren't that smart."

"He would never say that." Victoria moved back toward Edward now and I saw a movement in the trees behind him. Almost like the haze of sunlight right before a new day.

"Maybe not say it; but think it." He shook his head. "It might surprise you to hear everything he was thinking." He looked over at me. "Like the fact that you were being replaced."

Victoria stopped moving and turned back to me. Her eyes narrowed as mine widened. I knew Edward was baiting her but just the idea that that sick bastard had thought of me in that way made my skin crawl.

"That's right" Edward kept going. "James was sick of you. Only kept you around because you were good and getting out of places but he wanted something new. Something a little more innocent. Someone that could learn to be more exciting." He laughed again but this time it was a hard sound. "Just think all this time you've been so sure that you were is mate and he was looking for someone else. But you know some men; they can be so fickle."

"No" She screamed as she lunged for him but Edward was faster and ducked just as a russet brown wolf leapt out of the trees and landed soundly on Victoria's chest. From out of nowhere things converged into this one spot on earth. Vampires and wolves alike came barreling in on top of each other. There were cracking sounds and pained yells and the only sound louder were the snarls.

I looked around wanting to help in whatever way I could but it seemed there was nothing for me to do. Emmett had one vampire neck in his teeth and his vice like arms wrapped around another. Jasper had just thrown one across the field to Carlisle while ripping arms off another and Alice looked as though she was dancing with a vampire that actually made her look huge. Yet when I looked closer I saw that the vampire was lunging at her and she was just blithely moving away. I saw everyone had someone and body parts were flying left and right.

I searched for Edward but didn't see him. I didn't see Victoria either and I began to panic. What if she had ran off and he had run after her? She could have taken him by surprise. What if he needed my help? I jumped up hell bent on finding him and was knocked down by a rock being dropped on my back. I rolled over to find myself staring into the darkest eyes I had ever seen in the darkest body of the pack.

I tried to move but he had me pinned. "What are you doing?" I questioned but he just snarled at me and bared his teeth. I didn't need Edward's talents to know that this was not an act of protection. I glanced upward hoping that someone in my family had noticed but they were all busy dismembering vampires and starting fires. No one was looking in my direction and being that Alice couldn't see werewolves there would be no way for her to know that I was in danger.

He jumped off only to grab me by my hair and pull me into the thick of the forest. We were covered in trees and as I tried to yell his paw clamped down on my throat and stopped all air from surfacing. What was going on? I thought that Jacob had said that everything was fine with the wolves but this clearly was a rogue wolf or something.

When we were further away from the fires he morphed back into a man and I instantly recognized him as Sam the one that was pushing for a war between us.

"Now let's talk?" He motioned for me to sit on a rock right behind me. I was wary but I was hopeful that he wasn't planning on killing me since he had changed back into someone that I could understand. I sat down and looked him in the eye willing him to continue.

"I don't know what it is about you Bella but for some reason you seem to have guys tied around your little finger." He shook his head. "Edward, Jacob they would risk their lives for you."

"I didn't ask them too." I told him.

"I know but it changes nothing." There was a hard look in his eyes. "I never wanted this. None of us did and if it wasn't for that parasite that you love and his family I would be just a normal human man. No pack, no supernatural responsibilities, no pain. I had a life before this and it was good. I had a woman that I loved and that loved me and now I have to look in her eyes everyday and know that I caused her the worst pain of her life. They did this and instead of killing each and every one of you we are actually fighting with you. I hate it and I hate them."

"I want to kill you." He growled at me. "I want to kill you so bad. To destroy you and pray that it starts the war that will wipe out all of your kind. That I can be the one that rips the neck of the last bloodsucker to walk this earth. I want that so bad I can taste it; smell it. Do you know what it does to me when Jacob defines you?" I shook my head. "He might as well grab my heart and pull it from my body."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "He loves you, you know." She smirked. "Not in a brother sister way or any other family way but loves you." My eyes widen. That couldn't be true, could it? "I see you don't believe me but trust me; I can see it. We wolves are linked. What he sees, feels, we feel too. That's what makes this so hard. I want to kill you but I have his feelings for you in side me also and that makes me love you or at the very least want to protect you."

"So what are you going to do?" If he was going to attack me I needed to know.

He looked down and in all the anger seemed to weigh so heavily on him. He looked so much more a boy than a man sitting there deciding my fate. "Nothing" He breathed. "I can't. Jacob gave an order and even if he didn't I don't think I could do that to him."

I looked away myself. I knew this was hard for him and I didn't want to let him see the look of relief on my face. "I understand."

"Just…" He still didn't look up at me. "Can you do me a favor? For not killing you and all."

"I'll try"

"Can you go?" He looked up at me and I saw moisture glisten in his eyes. "Can you just take your bloodsucking family and leave and never, ever come back? Can you give us a chance to be normal again? Give Jake a chance?"

My heart tore wide open and even though it wasn't working in the way it was meant to it broke right there inside my chest. He was asking me to leave my home, to leave my family and promise never to see them again. Could I do it? I knew that we would have to leave. That Charlie would eventually notice that I wasn't aging or eating or any other human thing but this was different. He wanted me to knowingly walk away. Could I promise that?

"Sam" I started. "This is my family your asking me to leave; my home."

"I know" He nodded. "But how long do you really think you can be around them before they notice the difference? Wouldn't you hurt them less by leaving now then dragging it on indefinitely?"

He did have a point. Maybe that was the part that I hadn't been able to reconcile. Leaving my old life behind. Sure I was still Bella but I was different. The Bella that Charlie and Jacob knew and loved was gone and could never come back. Given that was it really so much of a difference to let go. To take this new body and new me and commit to my new life wholly? To cut all the ties that bind?

"Can you give me six months?" He looked at me quizzically. "If I am going to leave and never see Charlie or Jacob or any of my friends again then I need to give them closer. I need them to understand."

"And how do you plan to manage that?"

"Edward asked me to marry him." I smiled at the started expression on his face. "If you can give me time to have the wedding then I will do as you ask." I looked at him with the most serious expression I could muster. "And selfishly I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. It's more than I deserve but I know what it would mean to him and to me."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Bella" I heard Edward yelling for me. "Bella where are you?" That one was Jacob. Sam opened his eyes knowing that our time was coming to an end.

"Agreed" He nodded.

"Thank you" I said solemnly. "And for what it's worth I understand pain and lost and I know that we never meant for that. Not for you; not for any of you. Thank you for helping today."

He nodded once more and proceeded to head back toward the scene of the only war he would know. I watched as he walked back a man with so much anger and so much heart. I looked around and made peace with my decision. It was time to put away childish things and step into the life that awaited me.

I breathed deeply and smiled privately to myself. "Goodbye" I whispered and then I slowly followed the trail left behind.

**AN: I have to send a birthday shout out to Dana Rose. I hope you are having a great day and I can't to hear all about it. So I hope you guys like it and I can't wait to hear from you all.**

**Don't make blue; please review.**


	18. Chapter 17: RESOLUTION

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

Resolution

**Bella POV**

I held Edward's hand as we all made our way back to the Cullen's house. No one ran mainly because no one was ready to face Charlie; least of all me. Alice had told me that he had demanded answers when we returned and there was no way to tell him. Some secrets you can't spill no matter how much you want.

To top it off I still needed to explain to Edward and the rest of the Cullens the deal that I had made with Sam. I had to let them know that I had chosen a part of their future without consulting them. Ironically in that moment I had became Edward. Make a decision that would affect so many without consulting the main people involved. Boy I was beginning to understand that decision he made to leave more and more. I still hated it but I could understand it more now than ever.

I looked over at my family both old and new, as Jacob had insisted on coming back with us, and knew this was one of the last times that we would all be together. I would marry Edward, the Cullens would pack up and together we would all leave for parts unknown, and Jacob would find some lucky girl and fall in love with her. Even Charlie who wasn't walking with us would move on. He would either accept that Edward and I were getting married or he wouldn't but no matter what we would still leave and I wouldn't see him again. This was the end of everything.

That was what was holding me here. Not the problems with Victoria or the worry over Charlie, not even the pending war with the wolves, it was the end. Knowing that when we leave that would be it. There would be no coming back. No more bonfires at La Push or hanging out in Jacob's shed watching him work on his cars. Jessica, Angela, and Mike would go off to college and possibly remember me at reunion times and such but there would be no emails back and forth about our collective experiences. They would start careers and families and lives that I couldn't be a part of. My career would be professional student.

Eighteen and frozen. For the rest of eternity; eighteen and frozen, that was what I would be. Sure part of me still looked human and I felt the same but I would never change. I no matter how many times I went to college I wouldn't become a teacher or doctor or scientist. No one would offer me a job that didn't require some type of demining work or consist of fast food. Not that I needed to work anyway. The Cullens were loaded and by association so was I now. There wouldn't really be any need to add to the coffers and if I did my small salaries would probably go unnoticed.

But what if I needed to do something? To bring a sense of meaning to the extended life that I had wanted. To find a way to make the world better. Could I do it? Could I find a way to carve out a path that combined my human life with my immortal one? Even without staying in Forks or seeing my family again could I still hold on to all that they were? All that they had brought me?

I looked over at Jacob; so proud of what he had done and yet completely the boy that I had played doctor with while our fathers went fishing and his sisters talked on the phone. I knew that Sam was right and he deserved a chance to be normal and that the best gift I could give him was to walk away and still it hurt to know that I would never see him again. Never know the man he becomes. Never embarrass him by telling his children about all the crazy things he did as a kid. His life would go on and mine had been frozen.

"What's wrong Bella?" Jasper whispered in my ear. Not that it did a lot of good. With vampire and werewolf hearing everyone stopped and turned to me.

"What do you mean?"

"I felt such sadness from you." Jasper held the hand that Edward didn't. "I noticed back in the field but I thought that was just because of the fight but now its worse."

I looked around not wanting to get into it in the middle of the forest. "Can we talk about it later?"

Eight eyes looked through me as if staring right into my soul but they all nodded and began walking again. We were so close to the house now and my feet became sluggish. I wasn't sure I had the strength to walk in there and tell my father goodbye.

"I can't" I shook my head coming to a dead stop. "I can't do this."

"It's okay Bella" Edward pulled me into his arms. "You're not alone and Charlie will understand. Whatever you decided to tell him will be okay."

"That's not what I mean." How could I tell him? How could I tell any of them that I had sealed our future? Would they be okay with my decision? Was I okay with it?

"Jake" I pulled away from Edward hoping that his apparent new found trust would allow this. "Can I talk to you for a minute alone?" If I could just get Jacob to understand or to say we could stay then I could explain things to Edward. I could make this right.

I looked up to see Edward's jaw tighten but he made no move to pull me back. I knew that he would hate the fact that I turned to Jacob right now but he was a link to my past. He knew Charlie better than Edward could ever hope to and he understood Sam. I needed to make sense of the past few hours and I needed my human, well slightly human, friend to do it.

"Okay" Jake looked confused but followed me further away from the Cullens and the house.

When we were far enough away that I didn't think anyone could hear us or Edward could read his mind I stopped and sat on the ground willing Jake to sit next to me. True to form he lowered his body right beside me and sat patiently while I figured out what I wanted to say.

"So Sam doesn't like us very much." I started.

"No" Jake shook his head. "No, he doesn't but I have a hard time believing that was what you wanted to talk to me about."

"No it wasn't" I leaned away so that I could turn and look him in the eye. "I made a decision and I don't know how to tell everyone or how I feel about it."

Jake said nothing but looked back at me expectantly. I wanted to tell him but I needed answers first. "Jake, do you hate being a werewolf?"

He smiled sideways and shook his head. "Truthfully?" I nodded. "At first I loathed it. I couldn't imagine anything worse and I blamed everyone for it. The bloodsuckers for coming, you for going with them and not being here, and dad for not telling me what could happen. I was so angry and bitter and hurt."

"But now?"

"I still would rather not have the responsibility or honestly any of it but it's who I am." He shrugged. "I didn't ask for this but I was born with it. It's a birthright. Like having blue eyes or black hair; you don't get a choice. Would I have been happier if it had skipped a generation? Of course but that would just mean that my children might have gotten stuck with this instead. How fair would that have been? So I guess I'm okay with it now; at least at times."

"I see"

"Why did you ask?" I still wasn't ready to talk so I answered his question with another of my own.

"How do you feel about me?"

"What do you mean?" He looked taken aback.

"Like how do you see me? Feel about me deep down?"

"Are you talking about the bloodsu…." He stopped himself. "The vampire thing?"

"Yes; no; maybe" I didn't know how to phrase it so I blurted out the only thing I could. "Sam said that you love me in a way that has nothing to do with family." I closed my eyes not able to look at him while he answered.

I heard his intake of breath before he spoke. "Sam has a big mouth." He mumbled. "Bella could you look at me." I didn't open my eyes. "Please Bella"

How could I say no to the pain in his voice? I slowly looked up at him and saw a precious smile on his boyishly handsome face. "I have been in love with you since you were six and I was four and we went skinny dipping." I closed my eyes again and moved away but his arms stopped me.

"Bella, that doesn't mean that my love for you is still the same." I looked back. "Do I love you? Absolutely. Do I wish that you had made a different decision and that I was the one that you were staying with? Without a doubt. But would I want you to be miserable just so you could be with me? No way." He shook his head and moved so that he was right in front of me.

"Bella, you're my best friend and I would do anything for you." Another breath. "Even if that means letting you go."

"But…"

"Listen" He silenced me. "I would love it if things were different and I would have made you happy if given a chance. But that wasn't how things worked out. We both got caught up in this supernatural insanity and the course of our lives were pulled apart." He gave me a signature Jacob smile. "Still I like to think that if I can get past the smell and you can get past the fact that I'm born to kill you we could still be friends, best friends. Even hang out from time to time."

My shoulders shook and I would have been crying if I could. Why was everyone offering to share this life with me right when I was being forced into leaving? "Sam….Sam" I couldn't get it out.

"Sam what?" Jacob looked puzzled and a bit angry.

"Sam" I took a breath and let it flow without thought. "Sam asked me to take the family and leave and never come back."

"HE WHAT?" Jacob roared and looked behind him expecting the Cullens to fly in any moment. "He doesn't have the authority to ask something like that of you. What about Charlie? What about me?" The pain lacing his voice was so evident in that last word.

"He believes you deserve a shot at a normal life and can get it if we leave." I was still looking for the Cullens so I was glad that I didn't have to see Jake's face. "Maybe he's right."

"Bella?" I heard Edward call out a moment before I saw him. "Bella are you okay?" He was at my side in an instant. "What did you do to her?" He turned on Jacob.

"Edward it wasn't him." I quickly defended Jake who was wearing a look of shock and pain. I saw everyone else come running to us but stop closer to the trees then us.

"Then what happened and why was he screaming?"

I looked at Jake hoping he wouldn't say anything but I should have known better. "You have to tell him."

"I can't" I shook my head. "He won't forgive me."

"Are you kidding?" Jacob laughed. "After everything he has done to you and you forgave him and you're worried he won't do the same? Geez Bells, you really are messed up."

"Hey" I voiced just as Edward growled. "You don't get it."

"You are right about that" Jacob looked me dead in my eye. "There are a lot of things I don't get. Like how you could think that making that type of decision would be best for everyone involved."

"I had to" I whined back.

"No you didn't." I held his ground.

"Yes I did."

"You did." He wasn't backing down.

"Does this have to do with the two of you?" Edward was looking back and forth between us finally settling on me. "Did you change your mind about us? About getting married?"

"You're getting married?" Jacob practically yelled again. "Where you ever going to tell me?"

"Could you please calm down?" I yelled back rolling my eyes.

"No" Jake stood his ground. "You're about to marry him and your afraid to tell him the truth?"

"Not just him Jake." I looked around. "Everyone"

Jake looked over his shoulder and saw the rest of the Cullens standing off but closer than when they had first arrived. "Fine" Jakes eyes narrowed and he turned to face Edward. "Bella told Sam that you all would pack up and never return to Forks."

My eyes widened and my mouth dropped open. How could he? "That wasn't for you to tell Jake."

"Well someone had to." He kept his eyes on Edward. "For some insane reason she was scared to tell you." He looked back at me. "Also she seems to think that it would be better for everyone if she just left without saying goodbye."

"What do you think I was doing?" That newborn anger rose up. "That was what I was trying to do."

"Well you suck at it then." He crossed his arms. "I hope you do a better job with Charlie."

"Bite me"

Suddenly there was a thunderous sound and I looked around to see that everyone was laughing at me. Even Edward had his head back and a huge smile on his face.

"Love that isn't possible" He wrapped his arms around my waist. "He would kill you and I would have to kill him."

"I didn't mean it literally." I smiled despite myself.

"We know but it was just so funny Bells" Jacob looked back at me with happiness in his eyes. "Look Bella, if you want to stay then you can stay." He looked around. "You all can stay. We won't start a war."

"But Sam…" I asked.

"Sam doesn't have the authority to make you leave." He smiled at me as he raised his eyebrows. "That responsibility falls solely on these shoulders and I say that normal or not I like having my best friend around. Even if she does smell bad."

I punched him in the arm this time happy to hear his cry of pain. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely" He laughed again. "Just no more biting."

"Funny" I laughed too this time.

"You started it."

"What are we still six and four?"

He sobered up and looked deep into my eyes as if he would burst apart any minute and not in anger but in pain. "I wish" and I knew then that Sam had been right.

Jake did love me and he deserved his normal. It was selfish of me to want to hold on to everything that had been. He might not ever be the boy that he was at four but I couldn't be the one to deny him the chance of finding that kid again; that innocence.

"We'll let you know." I knew we were leaving even as I said it but this time we would talk it out. It wouldn't be a unilateral decision that I made to spare my life and the lives of those I love or an answer to a desperate mans request. It would be a decision that was made as all our decisions should be made. Together; as a family.

"I need to go face Charlie" I looked up at Edward. "And I need to do it alone."

"You don't have to." He looked at me.

"Yes I do." I reached up and cupped his face in my hand. "He needs to understand as much as I can tell him and he needs to have an open mind when he hears it. He won't be able to do either of those things if your there."

He knew I was right. I could see it in his eyes. I turned to Jacob. "Go home Jake"

"But…"

"Charlie will be fine and I will contact you about our decision but right now you need to go home." I smiled at him. "You need to let Billy know your okay and you need to explain things to your wolf brothers. Be the leader that you are; that you've become."

He smiled at me and did what I never would have expected. His arms wrapped around me and pulled me as close as Edward had. I rested against him realizing that there was rightness to this. A pull to Jake that had always been there. He was right. Without this supernatural insanity we might actually been something special to each other, but we would both have to settle for being special friends. He would always be my one friend that I could talk to about any and everything and never have to worry that he wouldn't understand. He was going to be a great man and I wished with all my soul that I could be here to see it.

"I love you, you know" He spoke quietly in my ear. "Always like six and four."

"I love you" I kissed his check. "Then and now."

He pulled back, smiled, and ran off into the woods shedding clothes as he did. I gathered myself and walked over to Alice. "I need the key."

"Are you sure you don't even what one of us to come with you?" She looked hesitate. "I could…."

"Alice are you seeing that I won't be able to control myself?"

She closed her eyes and smiled. "No you'll do fine but you'll be so sad."

"That's okay." I reached for the key again. "I've been sad before and I'll be sad again but I have to do this."

"Okay" She placed the key in my hand and I turned to walk away.

"Bella" I stopped at Jaspers voice. "We will be right outside if you need us. In case Charlie's emotions are too much for you or vice versa."

I smiled at my new favorite brother. "Thanks" I looked at Edward once more and then turned to say my hardest goodbye.

**AN: Sorry, So sorry about it being double posting Friday instead of Thursday. Believe me it wasn't my fault. It was raining in the old Mizzou and my internet was acting so funny and then fanfiction wouldn't let me upload them. So I couldn't get them on until now. Sorrrryyyy!!! **

**Okay all these are the last two chapters and both are posted today. I hope that you like what I have done with the end of this and I will admit that there was a wave of sadness that hit me writing these. I will say that I was tempted to add another story and make it a trilogy but I'm not sure. All I can say is don't be surprised if a third installment shows up.**

**So don't make me blue; please review :)**


	19. Chapter 18: THE END

_Disclaimer: If you don't know by now then you never will. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I'm just having fun._

The End

**Bella POV**

I heard the house unlock as soon as I turned the key. The screens slowly moved up and I was able to see inside before I could open the door. Charlie was pacing around the room not bothering to look back at the door.

"Alice" He called out when I walked in.

"No dad, it's me."

"Bella" He stopped and looked over at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah dad" He didn't need to know that there had been a moment when I thought everything was over and that though Victoria didn't kill me Sam would.

"Alice had me worried." He walked over to me.

"Alice can be a bit of a drama queen" I laughed my near extinction off and moved over to the couch Edward and I had been sitting at earlier.

"Still she made it sound like you weren't coming back." Charlie moved with me but remained standing.

"Dad I need you to sit down." I had to be adult about this. I had to give him as much closer as I could.

Charlie sat in his previously occupied seat as well and looked toward me. I closed my eyes willing myself to not breakdown. "Dad, I'm not coming home."

"Bella, we can work this out." Charlie started.

I smiled. "There's nothing to work out. I love Edward. My life is with him now." I moved closer to Charlie but remained on the sofa. "Dad I know that he did some things that are unforgivable and I know that you had to watch the pain that it caused me and for that I am so sorry."

"Bells it wasn't…."

"Please let me finish" I waited until he nodded. "I thought I had hid it from you. That I had covered my pain so that it wouldn't become yours. I don't think that I ever really got how much my misery affected you until that night at the Blacks. You were so angry and it wasn't about you, it was about me."

"You're a great dad, Charlie, and I am lucky, so incredibly luck, to have you. But you have to let me go." I could feel where the tears would have been but I knew they wouldn't come. "I didn't mean for things to go like this and there is so much I wish that I could explain to you but you know the truth. You've always known the truth. That I belong with Edward."

"Bella"

"Dad, I know that there is a great big world out there and that maybe I will miss out on a lot of it but maybe I won't." I had to believe that. I had to believe that there was some good I could do with this gift I had been given; this chance to spend eternity with the love of my life and know that he wanted to be with me, just me. "Maybe I won't see it the way that you think I should or the way that everyone else will but I promise dad I'll do my best to make you proud."

"You've always made me proud" Charlie reached for my hands. "Bella how could you doubt that?"

"I know that I haven't always done things the way you would like me too."

"You think that matters?" Charlie moved over to the couch and I was so wrapped up in his words that I barely noticed the burn at the back of my throat. "Bella, you're my daughter, my baby girl. The only reason I've every pushed you is because you can do so much more than I ever could. I see the world as black and white and only reaching to my end of my front porch and that works for me. But you; you see the colors of the world. You're like your mother that way."

"I'm also a lot like you." I squeezed his hand.

"Maybe, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before I lost you again. I just wanted more time."

"I know" I shook my head. "I did too. Unfortunately you can't always control when fate finds you."

Charlie half hugged me and moved back over to his chair. I laughed inside realizing that we had just had the most emotional conversation of my life and Charlie must have reached his threshold.

"So" The gruffness was back to his voice. "You're really going to marry this guy?"

"Yeah I am" I smiled. "And I really want you to walk me down the aisle."

He coughed a little and looked around the room. I saw his hand raise and move across his face and knew that he was crying, not that he would admit it, but I knew.

"Well I guess if you're really going to do this that is my job." I leapt up and hugged him before I knew it.

"Thanks dad"

"Anytime Bells" He hugged me back. "Well I better get going" He pulled back. "We still haven't found those bears and I heard some crazy noises while you were gone."

"Really?" I smiled to myself. He would never find the bears or figure out the noises but I was glad that he had something to focus his attention on.

"I'll see ya soon?" He looked so unsure.

"I won't leave before the wedding" I hoped that would alleviate some of his concern. "I promise."

"Okay" He headed to the door preparing to leave.

"I love you dad" I called out.

"I love you too Bells" I said without turning around and I through his voice I could feel my own tears. He was saying his goodbyes too and like me he didn't want to either.

I heard the door close quietly and I melted onto the sofa with my head in my hands. I had never wanted to be able to cry so badly. I had let go of two of the most important people to me today and there was no going back. I had made my decision, chosen my path, and now I just had to move forward.

It didn't surprise me when I felt arms wrap around me or lips against my hair. "Are you alright?"

"No" I looked up into the most beautiful face to ever walk this earth. "But I will be."

"I love you" He pulled me closer into his arms.

"I love you"

His lips closed around mine and I let my pain and sorrow float away from me as his love and commitment circled my heart. This was as it should be. With all the loss of today I had had some doubts that I had made the right decision but being here, in Edwards arms, I knew that I had. There was no place that could ever feel this right. He would always make me feel right. I would always mourn my lost humanity and those that would scatter my past but this was my future.

"So are we leaving or staying?" He asked as he pulled back and cupped my face in his hands.

"We're leaving" I hurt to say it but I knew it was for the best. "It's time."

"You don't have to do this. Jacob said we could stay as long as you liked."

"I know but it's not the same." I told him. "I'm not that Bella anymore. She died that day you felt her alone in the forest."

"What do you mean?" He looked so sad.

"Edward that Bella believed in things that would never be." I explained. "She didn't see the down of her choices or that there could be pain or lose in the life she had chosen. She thought that we would be together for eternity and that everything would continue as it always has been. She saw visits with Charlie and Renee and seeing Angela and Jessica on winter break from college. She saw being able to go to Jacob's wedding or Mikes. There was no bad in her world only good."

"And now your world is bad" He turned away from me. I should have known that he would miss the whole point of what I said.

"Of course my world isn't bad." I pulled his face back toward mine. "Actually it's pretty great. I have this man that I love who for some unknown reason happens to love me too. I have a new family that accepts me as one of their own and has fought numerous times to keep me not only a part of it but alive. I have a best friend that should hate me but still wants to be friends and hang out despite the fact that I apparently stink. And I have a father that I now realize would do anything for me even when that means letting me go." I smiled and kissed him quickly. "I think my life is fabulous"

"Even if it isn't what you thought it would be?"

I thought about that for a minute. Sure things were different than I thought but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. "Yes, even if it isn't the way I thought because the important things still are."

"And what is that?"

"That you love me" I kissed his check. "That I love you" I kissed his other check. "That I get to spend eternity with you by my side." I kissed his lips and he pulled me deeper into the kiss.

"There is nowhere else I would want to be." He told me. "But I want you to have it all. Everything you ever wanted."

"I do" I wrapped my arms around his neck. "I have you." I kissed him again and with that kiss I knew that my lives had finally been resolved. My past was still with me but my future was there holding me in his arms. We would get married and move more times than I could count. We would have lots of moments that were just ours and others that were filled with the laughter of our family but either way we would be together. And as I said before that was the most important thing.

**AN: This is the end. I'm still a little teary. But I do have a few other stories in the works so I will let you know what is next. Be sure to put me on your author alert so that when I do get my next story going that you will be one of the first to know. Plus I still haven't ruled out another story in this series but if I do it probably won't be until like late November or early December because I have a few others that I have in mind to do first. One of which I know Dana Rose will be so excited to see :) and you can always check out my personal website (link in on my profile) because I update the blog on there about all my writing and anything new that is coming. **

**I think that is about it. I have so enjoyed all of your reviews and suggestions and even if I didn't get to respond just know that everything you sent kept me writing. I love you guys so much and I will see you in the next story :).**

**Don't make me blue; please review :)**


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